-
Posts
-
@lee1712 She told you she didn’t want anymore contact from you and you told her you would honor her request. You also said it’s a shame you won’t talk things over to see if reconciliation might be possible at some point. You apologized for the drama and she knows you’re in therapy for your bad behaviors and she’s glad you’re getting help. So there’s no need to try and explain why you behaved the way you did as she obviously doesn’t want to hear it and asked for no contact. I’m sure it’s obvious to her that you’re holding onto hope.
You don’t display strength and dignity by continuing to contact her after she told you it’s over! If you really need/want your stuff you send send a very short text saying; “Please send my boxed things. I wish you all the best” Anything more than that would be creating more drama.
I understand you’re heart broken, but you must honor her request for no contact! And you need to move on as it’s apparent that she has..
I get that. and the text has been sent.
I guess while its not sent me back to the beginning in terms of feelings. If anything its helped. As I was holding on. and was doing everything for her and not for me. So its just made me annoyed with myself for holding on to hope.
Of course while i am pleased to hear she has emotionally moved on, it is/was hard to hear too. as I still care and respect her and the relationship, while her sentiments are no longer the same. Maybe its a male pride thing, but its also the case most “dumpees” have when they learn that the “Dumper” has lost all interest in the relationship etc.
I feel a ton better now! and while its not hope or anything. I know that with this sorted I can just concentrate on me.And whatever she does she will also now know that I am not prepared to be a back up and with my things all gone we can have the clean break now.
@lee1712 There’s nothing wrong with holding onto hope until it becomes obvious the ex doesn’t want to try reconciliation. Stay safe and take good care of yourself. Good luck going forward..
Yes I know. No one can help how they feel. My problem was when I stopped over analyzing her texts to me at the start, I started over analyzing the situation overall with constant googling of websites and stories from friends of their own situations.
And failed to realise that each breakup is different, and that while some stories are far worse than mine that have ended well, its how the person feels. Maybe even still i think that I broke NC early only to be greated by someone who is still in there “happy and relieved” phase. Who is adamant this is the best decision she has made. Again even now I think is she say no more contact, as she genuinely does not like me, or because it hurts and upsets her when i was texting.
Second guessing but have a hunch she is no doubt finding the support, if not effection somehow from someone else, but thats just a hunch and also not my concern.Either way…. I have removed MY safety net of my belongings, so we BOTH now have no reason to think we will talk again or see each other.
So I will no go Indefinite NC/Radio Silent and will work on myself.
Like alot of people I still would like to think things may change, but i am not going to dwell on things anymore.
Maybe i am still holding onto things or looking to hard.
I have had my belongings back for nearly a week now. But what I find weird is that she has sprayed her perfume all over my fave hoodies and tops.
The fact the scent is so strong it indicates it could only of been done before sending.
Is this possibly some kind of hint/suggestion or is she sticking the knife in.
Just seems very strange behavior from a woman who tell me she wants no hard feelings between us, yet also wants no contact or nothing do with me
@lee1712 Yes, the perfume thing is weird and don’t know what to make of it and you’re trying to guess, but it doesn’t matter.
She doesn’t want any hard feelings means she doesn’t hold any grudges/resentments and doesn’t want you to either.
She doesn’t want contact or anything to do with you means she doesn’t want you to contact her.
So don’t contact her!
I’m the bearer of bad news, so if you don’t want that, don’t read.
Remember, partnerships must help each other grow. With your current mental state, and your negative response to her initial qualms, she clearly could not do that for you. Either she could not sufficiently help you, or you could not accept it, but from what I’m reading, I suspect the former. As a woman, if she asks for space, and you don’t give it, then she should leave, or make you leave, and get that space. She needs to show you when the relationship is in danger that it is in danger. This is not to say she did anything wrong, only that she was not ready to help you grow in a relationship. With the snooping, you’ll need to give her at least several months to forgive and forget, but I personally would need at least a year. That’s why I say you should move on, for now. If it’s meant to be, you will cross paths again. Leave your stuff at her place though, unless you have essentials. You have burned the bridge to returning unless you actually have to. Focus on yourself! Sounds like you need it, and it’s always good, and may teach you to be happy without her!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.