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Posts
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Yes you can’t sleep, when you do you wake up after having stupid lifelike dreams. Cry more then you ever have before and lose more weight then you would if you were at a bootcamp! I honestly wouldn’t wish heartbreak on anyone, even my own worst enemy.
Thank you for all your replies and support.
I have been self obsessed in these last posts, are you ok? I apologise I haven’t asked sooner x
Tell me about it. I was a solid 92kg of good stuff now im about 88kg. It’s affected my training big time. This lockdown is driving us both insane.
Don’t worry about being self obsessed we all are to an extent, we know how we’re both feeling. Replying to you gives me comfort in a sense, just as I’m hoping my replies to you help do the same.
What vivid dreams have you had? I can’t imagine what it’s like after 9 years, that is so much compared to my 2. If I could I would literally do a magic spell that could fix all of this and believe me I’ve tried already out of sheer desperation, I don’t believe in any of that but in times like this want to believe in a God or a higher power that can help make everything okay again.
I’m okay…except the sleepless nights and dry mouth x
Yes reading the replies is helping me, I never realised how many people out there have worries until I started reading on this forum, it’s all very sad really.
Oh dreams of him and her, together. Every single night. I sleep for about 2/3 hours and then that’s it, dream and then awake all night.
I’m sick of crying and I feel like everyone else is getting fed up of me being upset now, it’s been 24 days since all of this started happening and each day is getting worse not better! The girl situation this week has set me back a million times more as well. It’s because I know deep in my heart that he is done with me and us now. That’s what’s breaking me. I don’t see any tiny glimmer of hope. I know he is done and happier without me now ☹️
I have convinced myself that they will move in together when all this corona is over and be engaged within a month of doing so. That is now wedged in my brain and I. Can’t stop thinking it. I am praying it is simply a rebound to try and mask any pain he had deep down over me and him but I know it’s not that ☹️He’s really moved on and left us in the process 💔
there are lots of people going through this. I’m still in a whatsapp group with her and her sisters and they just posted a video that she is in…I don’t know why I haven’t been asked to leave the group or why they haven’t created another group. She’s just sitting in the video reading her book and laughing.
The vision of her and him together are just your brain creating the worst case scenario you know this.
It’a 24 days since this started when was the last time you spoke to him?
I assure you he will discuss things with you again, he won’t just leave it like this I’m sure of it.
The last time we spoke was on Tuesday, which was the day he lied about this girl bringing him into work with a sicknote and said it was his mum who had brought him in when it was actually her 🤦🏼♀️ (He did something to his foot hence having to get someone to bring him in).Since then he has blocked me on his phone so he won’t receive any calls/texts off me (which I suppose is a good thing).
It’s strange tho as he had told some of his work friends that his mum had brought him into work and not this girl……why lie when you were quite clearly seen off a few people.
I’ve just found out today that Sunday just gone he was out shopping with this girl as he was seen off people I work with. And had a large 3 day booze up by himself at home.
The more I think about it all the more bizarre it all seems. Like he’s going through something and trying to cover it up.
It’s All very odd at the moment xThat is very strange behaviour. Did you ever put him under any pressure in the relationship? Cos right now she is looking like a shiney new toy for him…you’re gonna have to let him get on with this and see what happens. I know that must be impossible after 9 years but it is the only way. No amount of pleading is going to change it. The best thing you should be doing is NOT mentioning this girl to him.
What do you think he might be going through that he is hiding? You were together 9 years and no children involved?
You work in the same place as him so it doesn’t really matter if he blocka you. This girl sounds like an idiot saying that he is over you, he is not over you after being together 9 years that is absolutely ridiculous. She needs a slap.
Nope, no pressure. It was him who had mentioned proposing on my birthday. He actually said he had been wanting to do it for a while. I know he was frustrated about not having moved out yet but again that is why we both changed our contracts to nights as the extra money would’ve got us the last chunk to get us moved out this year.
It sounds daft but I feel like he is going through a bit of a mental struggle at the moment. It’s the only way I can make any sense of it. The excessive drinking the past month, he hasn’t turned up to work for a shift for no reason, just went awol, got himself at trouble at work also. All just seems strange like he’s reverting back to being an 18 year old again.
Don’t get me wrong I am having an extremely bad time but I feel getting my feelings out is the best thing for me and will hopefully help me in the long run. I feel like everything he is doing is to try and cover his up to act ‘macho’.He suffers from depression, at times a lot worse then others but he won’t let anybody know that. Instead he will sit in his room and drink cans and listen to music. That is his way of dealing with it. He is not one to show his feelings unless you know him extremely well and even then he won’t tell you when he is feeling a certain way, it all seems strange he’s been going for ‘walks to clear his head’ as he has told people and on massive drinking binges. All the time playing happy families with her and telling everyone how much better it is now he’s single. It doesn’t sit right with me to be honest. That’s why I think there’s more to it then he’s letting on, I think he’s having a bit of a breakdown to try and hide the real problem.
Well looks like I don’t know him well after all…..he’s been messaging a girl at work (we both speak to her), but has told her he was going to end it with me last year and didn’t do. So looks like I didnt know him at all.
I don’t understand why he has taken so long to do it, that’s so bad… I really don’t know what to suggest at this stage other than ignoring him and seeing if he reaches out…that will give you the chance to move on and still open the possibility of him realising he made a mistake. 9 years is a long time so maybe he feels like a teenager again being let free. He sounds like a right asshole.
One possibility could be speaking to him at work and saying you’re cool with everything (even though you’re not) Three shouldn’t be so many chinese whispers going around your workplace though
Yea there’s far too much he said, she said going on at the moment. Like a soap opera! I feel really let down and confused by it all. Very strange behaviour.
Yes I have started eating better, Friday and Saturday I actually had a proper tea and I then went into the chocolate as well!
Sleeping no better as I’m worrying about going onto nights, which should be in 3/4 weeks time.
We are both off work next week as it is my birthday. We should’ve been in Paris (obviously had to change that coz of corona), but that’s playing on my mind that we should’ve been going there and me getting proposed too (apparently).
It sounds daft but before this week happened with lying about that girl I had in my head that if he still cared he would get in touch on my birthday (sad thought I know). And now I know he won’t get in touch with me as he is well over us it just hurts to realise that it’s over for good with no chance of a way back.Well today is my birthday and he hasn’t got in touch (I knew he wouldn’t but I was hoping deep deep down that he would-he had bought my presents earlier this year). I haven’t spoken to him since last Tuesday when he lied about that girl. So I have Gone all this month hoping today would be the day he would get in touch to get nothing but silence. Looks like it’s time to try and put my thoughts to better use now ☹️
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