No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

It’s been 9 days since our break up and I started NC straight away but she txt me the very next night and again 3 days later to which I had to reply… so officially im at day 5 of NC and yep it’s the hardest thing ever, I already feel she is forgetting me but I know that’s not true, we own a house together and were engaged for a while during our 7 year relationship and she is a wonderful girl that still loves me and wants to fall back “in love” with me, she just doesn’t know how, she has broken up with me to take the pressure off, which was a good idea even though I hate it. She even said she would like to see me go on a date and see if that stirs any emotion in her, but that’s simply not going to happen yet, not ready for that. Maybe after enough time has passed and she is missing me ill fake a date or something.

as “potatoelover” said it’s very hard to keep with NC… you don’t have to do anything yet it’s probably the hardest thing any of us will ever do

problem for all of us now is Christmas and new year is approaching… worst possible time to try NC

My problem is I still live in our house while she lives at her parents place, and I’m going away for CHristmas to my family and will be away for 5 days and so I’ll need her to come and feed our pets so around day 16 of NC ill have to txt her, any advice as to how and not break NC?

we’ve taken a break before and after 11 weeks she started to have feelings for me again but she says now in hindsight she moved back in too quickly before all her feelings were back, but back then we txt each other every couple of days so maybe this time with NC it might happen a bit quicker. I wasn’t mature enough or ready to deal with a break and how to keep her when she came back but this time I AM! but it might be too late 🙁 I don’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy

@martin

I’m on day 13 and what you just said is exactly how I feel too.
And she seems to have already replaced me with someone else, same thing as your situation.

Stay strong. We both need to. So does everyone going through NC.

Yes. I dont understand why he is not texting me more yet.. I feel like the longer we leave our partners, the closer they get to other people for attention.

Well, what I learnt is that no two relationships are the same. Even if they are with the same person. We cannot hope to have what we had back but to create a new one. Sure, maybe a thing or two would be the same but those are only similarities.

@martin

Me and my ex spent 21 months of our lives practically inseparable. But she’s young, only 18 while I’m 23. She said she doesn’t want to be tied down by me, that she stopped loving me for awhile already but I don’t believe her one bit. She’s not one to open up but the 21 months we spent together allowed me to know her better than she even knows herself.

Day 7 of NC. Pretty unfortunate that I have to report that I’ve had a wee bit of a setback this evening, and it’s entirely my fault..

I haven’t actually broken NC, which is the good news, but I wrote in my post yesterday that I caved and started visiting her social media profiles again. She appears to be back to her usual ‘active’ self on Twitter today which debunks my theory from yesterday.. which is not a huge deal in itself, but I find it slightly disheartening that she’s been reciprocating the attention that a few guys have given her today (she’s very popular on both Twitter & Instagram, particularly with men) and is back to appearing pretty ‘pleased’ with how her life is right now. She also posted another selfie on Instagram today and tagged the suspected ‘rebound’ guy in it, which again is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but in this situation the little things can affect you more than they probably should.

The irony is that up until mid afternoon I was actually feeling pretty good. I noticed that the ‘rebound guy’ completely disappeared from her “best friends” list on Snapchat which is the first time that’s happened since October. It give me a little morale boost, until I realised that there is actually a trick in Snapchat that you can use to remove someone from your best friends list, so there’s a good chance that she’s actually conspired with him to do that. Whether it’s been done for my benefit or hers/his is (unfortunately) a mystery. Either way the ‘cloak and dagger’ stuff she does annoys me a little, as there’s really no need for her to do it, even if she is genuinely trying to “spare my feelings”.

Today has been the first day that I’ve really begun to doubt the “NC period” as an effective way of making your ex become endeared to you again through “missing” you. I realise that I’ve only just completed the first week, so it’s only been a relatively short amount of time, but the biggest obstacle i’m going to have to overcome going forward is being able to deal with the fact that I’ll probably never know if my ex is actually missing me or not. There’s a chance that she is, of course, but I’ve said before that she’s a pretty strong & stubborn girl, so either way if she does begin to miss me more during this NC period it’s highly likely that she will be able to resist the temptation to reach out to me anyway, even through the holidays (which she’s repeatedly stated is going to be a “wonderful” time for her – talk about insensitive right?). Plus, our breakup (although sad & upsetting) wasn’t abrasive and she never did it for anything that I did wrong specifically (she gave me that whole “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel, which is never usually good). The whole thing is less than ideal tbh.. -_-

However, I did say two nights ago that I accepted that any reconciliation between us wouldn’t happen any time soon and I stick by that. I also still believe that the best & only thing I can do right now is just to give her the time she wants to explore other avenues in her love life. Unfortunately it doesn’t make the process any easier, and each day is presenting a new challenge. I just really, really wish that I knew what was going on in her head.. it would make resisting the temptation to contact her that much easier, but ho hum!

Oh well. Im going to try much best to initiate a social media blackout tomorrow and try and get my emotions back down a little. The NC will continue, I’m not ready to throw in the towel on it yet, but I need to start really thinking about my next step if things don’t improve for me soon.

Wish me luck! 🙂

I suppose I just had a ‘weak moment’ earlier. Naturally I accept that it’s gonna happen often as I still miss her a lot, but I need to try and not lose sight of the main goal. I feel a bit better now remembering that I should be paying more attention to myself during this period and not her and that, in many ways, this needs to happen right now anyway, for both of our sakes.

I do really regret the way I bugged her right after the breakup and how needy I came across, so naturally I want to bury the hatchet as soon as possible, though I suppose the only way it’ll come across with any sort of verve is if a decent enough amount of time has passed whereby she’ll actually a) believe me, and b) be really pleased to hear from me after such a time.

This really is the very definition of the “waiting game”, isn’t it? Patience isn’t really one of my strong points! 😛