NC support

I’m baffled why he wouldn’t say hi. That makes zero sense to me.

What is saying it now going to change…I’d wait till Sunday and just ask what was up with that.

HELP!!!!!

OMG!!!! SHE JUST TEXTED ME AND SAID “I’m ready” OMG!!! I hope this means what I think it means!!!

Should I text her back!???

I think she wants to go back our

i have quite a bit of an update.
i was at dinner with one of mine and my exes mutual friends and she informed me that my ex is seeing someone. he brought her on a double date and took her to a party with his friends this weekend. i actually was a lot calmer than i thought i would be at the time but when i got home i called my ex. we haven’t spoken on the phone since the break up. he answered right away and i very calmly told him i knew he was seeing someone and i refused to be his backup option. we ended up talking on the phone for 2 hours and i asked him all the questions I’ve wanted to ask but of course i got no real concrete answers. this is what he told me…
hes “exclusively hooking up” with this girl. she is not his girlfriend. he said its very casual and very new and he likes her but doesnt know her all that well and he by no means loves her and has no idea if it will last or not. he told me for the first 3 months we were broken up he was very very single and didnt want to date at all and now he finally feels ready to. he told me this is exactly what he needed and what he wanted to get out of our breakup. he said he would never be able to get back together with me unless he truly dated other girls and thats what he’s doing.
i asked him if he thinks about me and he said “sometimes”. when i asked how often, he said a decent amount but not everyday. i could believe it!! i think about him every minute of every single day. two hours of going in circles back in forth he essentially told me that he still feels content and happy about his decision – that of course he misses me sometimes but he’s known for some time this is something he needs and something that is healthy for both of us to date others. he encouraged me to go out and date others without constantly having him in the back of my mind. i asked him if he thought this was the end of the road for us and he told me he truthfully had no idea – that he has no more clarity than the first day we broke up and that he needs to really take the time to date other people to know what he wants. i had mentioned that i didn’t plan on contacting him for a while and was hoping he would’ve at least texted me on my birthday and was going to ask him to reassess at that time. he told me he would’ve absolutely called on my birthday – that he wants to call me often but he doesnt because he doesnt want to confuse me. and he agreed that maybe may would be a good time to check in and reassess how we’re feeling because he’s only just started to date and thats been going on only for less than a month. he told me he loves me but needs to continue with this right now and he hopes I’m happy and doesnt want me to wait around for him. he said it was great hearing my voice and i should call him every time i want to talk and he promised he would tell me if he did in fact have a legitimate girlfriend. he also promised to let me know if he was really moving on and felt we had no future or if he woke up one morning and realized I’m the girl for him. he promised me if he’s decided I’m who he wants he will let me know. he also told me whether i go NC, LC, or text him everyday has absolutely no impact on the outcome of this. he said he doesnt view me as a backup choice that this is internal and something he needs to do for him. sooo overall ended up basically with him telling me he loves me and we’ll speak again soon and he hopes I’m happy and not waiting around and i should call if i ever want to talk sooner but he agrees may will be a good time to perhaps talk and reassess.
i feel oddly calm but also like I’m going to throw up at the same time. i knew he needed to date other people because this is why we broke up but hearing about it has thrown me for a loop. does anyone have any thoughts on this?!

Wow….she basically was lieing….she’s not ready….she just misses me and wanted to see me. Then I find out that she’s in a relationship with someone else. Ugh!!! Now I’m hurt :, (

Atea,

I don’t know you all that well I guess, but reading your last post got my heart pumping. I felt a rush of anxiety. Im sorry for your news, even though it’s not the worst. I’m sure it’s obviously something you didn’t want to hear. I’m sorry and I feel bad. I know how much you care for this guy. I know this isn’t the end of the road for you guys, but a speed bump. Maybe this is what you need to now not feel bad when you are meeting men. You can have a cleaner conscience with all that. Maybe this plays out where he realizes how much better you two were together after spending alittle time with this other slapper. It’s good you got to talk to him and ask him questions. It’s good he explained his intentions and how he still feels about you as well. I’m happy you had the courage to call him and talk to him.

This situation makes me even more determined to ask to meet my ex and have a final talk. I’m not saying what you had was anything close to a final talk. Uhh when I first read the first line, I thought it was going to be great news for you.

I need to man the effff up already.

@dwarf, our situations are quite different. my ex and i started dating at 15 so neither of us have ever had any other experiences. he told me from night 1 of the break up that he needed to date other girls to confirm if I’m the one for him and he encouraged me to date other guys as well. he told me he knows he could be happy with me and have a family and a future but he needs to explore other options to make sure we’re the best fit for each other. so I’m not surprised about this. i just know he hadn’t wanted to date yet the first 3 months but this was something i knew he was going to need to do if we ever were going to reconcile.

@mike2014, my heart is pounding and my stomach is in knots. he was very great in the conversation. honest and caring. he told me and reiterated what he’s always said – that he truly needs to date other girls before he can know for sure if I’m the one. he said he knows i must be feeling nauseous imagining this but that he is taking this break up seriously – that he wants to start dating other girls now so he can assess after some time whether or not he wants to come back to me. he told me he was planning on telling me only if it became a boyfriend/girlfriend type of situation which it isn’t yet. he told me he wants to keep the lines of communication open and whenever i want to talk i should call him. but i had mentioned my initial plan was to touch base around may again and he said he thought that was a good idea as it will give him a couple more months of dating. he told me he truly can’t see if and when he will feel ready – that he can’t predict feelings but that a couple of months may very well be enough time. my friend said she thinks this is a good thing, that he needs to do this to compare and she thinks its good its happening now. do you agree? i just kind of feel numb and confused. and yes you do need to man up and do it!! do not let your ex go. be honest. tell her how you feel. the truth hurts but its necessary. this will not be the last conversation with my ex. i will give him a few months of space and take it again from there. what do you think about this situation? I’m feeling kind of lost

I will just say this one thing. I really need to fall asleep, gotta be up for work at 6am. I wish I could give you more support right now. The odds of this happening at some point was good. I don’t know if this really changes anything. You always had the plan to reach out in May and see where it is. You can still do that and now he should definitely know. You also said if it’s a no at that time, then you will be prepared to really focus on moving on. It will then be up to fate. Once again I hope you can get some sleep. I’m sorry Atea.

@mike2014, thanks for your support. he told me this changes nothing. that he has no real feelings for this girl right now and it hasn’t altered our situation at all. he also told me there was no way he was ever going to come back unless he really tried dating other girls. he said he’s still not sure if it will ever be serious or if hell ever want to be serious with someone else but he knew all along this was something he would have to go through and he needs to date other girls. he actually told me i should be happy he’s finally starting to date because its speeding up the process of him being able to evaluate. he needs to compare our relationship to other things and he’ll only ever know by dating. but he did say he’s happy to reassess at any time i want, but he’s not ready now but can’t predict how he’ll feel in a few months time – that that very well may be enough time for him but he may need more. so i agree, I’m glad he’s starting to date now and not 6 months from now. I’m hoping it can speed up the process. if after a couple months he genuinely is really interested in dating other girls still i think it solidify to me the need to really move on. if after a couple of months of dating he can tell me how much he values and appreciates everything we had thats another story. so better now, than later. i doubt ill be getting any sleep tonight though…