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Posts
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@mike2014, i agree with you. it is kind of unfair. unless she wants to get back together, she should leave you to move on. its exactly what i keep talking about to everyone saying there is a certain window i believe on reconciling. once the person has moved on, i think a lot of times the door is closed. but she broke up with you. you don’t have to answer her if you don’t want. youre on your time and don’t owe her anything now. i can see what you mean about wanting it to be do or die – if i were you i would get to that point as well. either she wants to be with you or you want to commit to moving on fully and as we said we can’t be friends. just be careful and do what works for you!! when do you plan on telling her do or die?
@belle, good morning! how are you feeling today?Atea
I’m feeling good thanks. If I ever think of him I call him a bad name! Lol My head is not swirling anymore and I’m thinking of other things and everytime he pops I to my head I just cast him off with a bad name and wonder what the hell I was doing waiting my time on such an emotionally immature man. Im better than that and live is just about to get a whole lot better. It can’t get worse and now I’ve turned that corner I’m happy going solo until I meet someone who is emotionally mature!
He will re appear, they always do. I want to have moved on by then or at least be indifferent towards him.
I’m focused on doing this and not going to spend months crying over him, really he isn’t worth it!
How are atea?
Mike, glad your using your new word! Lol
@belle, im so happy to hear youre doing better! maybe seeing him and his nasty emails gave you the closure you need for the time being. its crazy how much emotions can change one week to the next!
i too am feeling much better the past 3 days. the past 3 days for some reason i just feel more back to my happy self. last night i did have a good cry but it only lasted around 5 minutes and i had no desire to contact him. although sometimes I’m still in disbelief that this is how he wants things to be, I’m at peace because i truly feel like i did everything i possibly could to fight for the relationship and now the ball is in his court entirely. i truly feel there is nothing left for me to do. nothing was left unsaid and i have no reason to contact him whatsoever going forward. all i can do is try to heal, be happy, move on, and live my life. if he comes back ill have to evaluate how i feel at hat point. I’m sure at some point he’ll try to make contact down the line, but until that happens i have no more decisions to make. I’m beginning to think this is really his loss – he walked out on a great relationship with a great girl because he thought there might be other great things out there? good luck to him then! I’m happy i made this initial mistakes because now i genuinely feel like i tried everything and should relax and leave the rest up to him and fate. it still feels weird sometimes when i wont think about it for a bit and then remember he’s no longer in my life, but its all part of the process i guess!
Atea, it’s great you’re feeling better! Yes, we will still have down days that’s only normal and a small cry now and then just releases the emotions so that’s good too.
Like yourself I think my ex is stupid. His reasoning is crazy and it’s like oh well it’s too hard I think I will move on! Ok, you do that because he will be lucky if he can find anyone more suited and even then when you meet someone you don’t know what’s stored in there cupboard! So good luck to the both of them.Look at D, he always regretted splitting with me. Well he can live with that regret because I can’t see us going any further than just catching up now and then. I can’t trust him totally and I think I will feel the same with the ex.
Don’t feel in any need to contact the ex at the moment. I just value myself much more than his opinion of me. I know he will be back, how he’s treated my little boy is disgraceful and I’m not sure in time how my ex will cope with that thought. He will have to carry that massive burden with him for life. He didn’t have to behave the way he did. How he came on Monday and was all nicey nice and interested Then soon as he was out of sight he threw a whole load of daggers at me. Well he threw one too many. Thankfully!
I’m determined to move on and not get bitter either. Just want to put it all to bed and move on with no emotional baggage. I did what I could I did all I was able. So the problem doesn’t lie with me. It’s his baggage now.I’m really struggling today. I just want to contact my ex and figure out what he’s doing. I don’t know what to do. I am seconds away from picking up the phone. I really wanna know if he’s with another girl or meeting another girl tonight.
@maren88 he/shes probably thinking the same thing about what you are doing tonight. Be strong with this.
I don’t know. Everything feels so hopeless at this point. Doesn’t feel like he’s thinking about me at all.
&belle, you seem like such a good person and did not deserve the way your ex treated you one bit! It’s also more infuriating because you have a son in the picture. Im happy you’ve turned a corner and don’t want to speak with him anymore. I think some time and space is necessary and he needs to think about what he threw away. And for what?! To prove a point? It all sounds so silly.
I’ve been thinking a lot over whether or not I would be able to trust my ex again. It’s funny when we first split up he told me that it’s “healthy” and even married couples take time apart sometimes. I truly have no idea whether or not he thinks this break up is permanent or not but if he doesn’t think its permanent he better get off his high horse soon and start chasing me because I’m moving on and when the door is closed, it will slam in his face! Im actually feeling very calm about this long Nc period. I know no matter what I have no desire to text him. I don’t want to tell him any good news because he’s undeserving to hear! And I refuse to give him the satisfaction of him knowing im even considering another relationship with him! I know I’ll stick to this and I just wonder how long he’ll go without reaching out to me. I want him to really feel me slipping away from him!
@aphrodite, how are you today?Atea,
You mentioned that your ex said that some married couples take a break… Well yes they can do if they both feel mutual that it would be beneficial. If it’s one sided then it’s not just taking a break,it’s leaving one left alone and broken. So by him saying that is him justifying his actions.
Atea, we both need to move on as we don’t know when these idiots will be back. It’s ok for them as they can sleep at night and go out, have fun while we are distraught and can’t sleep eat or live normally.
If we can get to some point in life where we are genuinely happy and not obsessing that’s a good place to be. Once we are happy then happy things come our way. LOA.I don’t think our ex’s will know what’s hit them once they realise we are moving on! If my ex came back now I would blank him! If he comes back in a year, well….I might be very happy with an emotionally independent handsome man!
Aphrodite, very quite these days? All ok?
@belle, Im definitely getting stronger because there was a long period of time that I would have welcomed my ex back with open arms, but I’m not feeling that way anymore. It would not be such an easy road taking him back as he needs to really get back into my good graces.
I feel like I’m getting back to a point of being genuinely happy. Will I ever really be completely
Happy without him though? Im not so sure. It still feels kind of empty like a big piece of me is missing but it’s slowly getting better. It’s on my mind a lot but not in the sad way it used to be so much anymore. I just want to be moved on from him. Im trying to tell myself he won’t be back to make it easier on me but I still have this annoying feeling he will be. I guess only time will tell! I don’t see it happening for a very long time from now anyway. If he came back a year from now I think I wouldn’t even respond to him. I mean really how can someone just turn their back for a year and expect to pick back up after? If he doesn’t make contact and ask to see me and talk about things in the next few months I’ll take it as he’s moved on. I really wonder if he has moved on already. He kept saying we needed to give this true time apart before we could make a real decision so im not sure if he’s just taking a very long time because he wants this pain to be “worth it” – like if he stuck this out for a year and then realized he still loves me I think in his head would make this worthwhile. Or is he actually sticking to this decision because he’s moving on? Regardless I need to move on either way. That will be a win-win for me. If I move on and he comes back then it will be my decision and if I move on and he doesn’t then I’ll eventually be ready to open up to someone else! Im glad the last few days have gotten a bit easier for me and hopefully I’ll continue to improve. I just hope the days aren’t getting too easy for him! I wonder if it will get harder or easier for him as time passes…oh well, lots of patience now for me as its a big waiting game here!Hello,
Sorry for being quiet. Not feeling well emotionally or physically. Guess what’s not a good idea? Eating tons on cake when you’ve been on a really healthy diet for weeks. I threw up twice and feel sooo sick!
I don’t know where I am right now (emotionally), so I don’t know how to put it into words. Also I’m not feeling up to helping others and giving advise at the minute. I will probably feel better in a few days.
Ex just text me about the letters. I didn’t get to beat him to it. I don’t even want to answer.
@aphrodite, sorry to hear you aren’t doing well 🙁 feel free to vent here about anything or if you want any advice. Sometimes we all just need those days to talk about ourselves!!
Im sure your ex texting you was a shock to the system. Was he at least nice? Do you feel a small amount better that he broke Nc first? You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to! It’s whatever you feel is best. Thinking of you and sending hugs!Oh Aphrodite, so sorry you’re feeling rubbish. We are here when you’re ready. Don’t rush anything, we are here for support but don’t feel you need to come for the sake of it.
As atea said. No need to respond and really, it’s not important if you don’t read these messages.Sending blankets, wine, lots of hugs and well ripped hunky man! 😀
@belle, I know im venting a lot about myself today! But this being my first breakup and i know you’ve been through this before. I still feel a bit in denial that I will never see or be with him again. Does this feeling pass in time? Or is this a feeling that he’ll be back? My emotions are all over the place and im feeling confused!
My response to my ex by text:
I came to the conclusion that my personal life is my personal life. When you decided to walk away and not try to work things out, you lost that privilege. I need to live my life and that means my space from you. Although I will always miss you and love you at this time this is my decision. Goodbye.
The last 24 hours have been a lot of contradicting emotions. I went out with friends last night and throughout that and thinking I went from anxiety to sadness and then anger. Hearing from her and her reaching out just made me feel uncomfortable. She will never wake up or want to work things out. It’s been too long. In my mind when she decided not to read my letter that has to be it. I could never talk to her unless she read that letter and responded in some way. That letter in oct really was me reaching back out again and gauging her thoughts which she didn’t want to share or even open the letter. Screw her excuse about it being too emotional and not bringing herself to open, but then tell me she looks at it often and keeps it by her bed. She might not know what she wants, but that’s on her.
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