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Maybe this is his way of saying he misses me? LOL. I know, I know, i’m grasping at straws. He’s definitely just being a jerk. Arg. 14 years and he’s doing this…
When my ex and i initially broke up ( we were dating for 3 months and young and stupid) he wanted to be FWB but didnt want it to be known i believe. When i did was not sleep with him but hung out with him as a pal for a little while, then i discovered that NC is the best way to go about this and i hung out with him the last time…we slept together ( it really wasnt worth it to me) but i remember him telling me “do..you want me to help you..” because i didnt climax from the sex, and i literally gave him the coldest face and said “no. thanks.” and went to sleep. The next morning i kissed him goodbye and unbeknown to him i began NC. He texted me a week later saying he was stupid and we shouldnt have broken up.
Anyway the point is DO NOT sleep with him, it is a bad idea and disrespectful to you. IF he cant have a emotional connection with you he doesnt deserve a physical one. I would give him a short response of something like what a funny joke that was and cut contact
sorry i realized that my story was kind of useless, the point is MAYBE it could spark something but 99% of the time it doesnt. Its the NC and being the best yourself around them when they do see you that does it…i believe
Maebe and dwarf,
I’m probably the worst one here at giving advice. I’ll let the others who are better with that help you all out. If I think of so something I’ll respond to you both.
-sorry
I have one bit advice,
Don’t be a slapper… this is ultimately your decision tho.
See Belle, I knew I would be able to use that word.
My options:
Don’t reply at all. I’d normally want to do this, but if I do this, things will be REALLY awkward between us next week at the party.
Or some things I could say: “Tempting, but I don’t think it’s a good idea! Sorry”
“As much as I used to enjoy our sex, I don’t think I would anymore now that I know you don’t appreciate me.”
“I’m sorry, I’m seeing someone”
“Shove it up your arse”
Lol @Mike2014! Slapper… what is that, a loose woman?
I know, I know. I won’t sleep with him! It’s hard to resist though, I miss him so much and the thought of hanging out with him and being intimate again is SO tempting! Ahhhhhhh HELP
I think about all scenarios too, it’s ridiculous:
I say no, and then he meets someone and falls in love with her.
I say no, and then he wants me more than ever and can’t stop thinking about me and realizes he wants to date me.
I say yes, and he loses respect for me and realizes he can have me whenever he wants, so he doesn’t want to date me.
I say yes, and we have lots of fun together and our sex is amazing, and it makes him remember how great we were together.
Haha maebe,
Yea, I just learned that word the other day from belle.
I’m the brutally honest one here (according to belle lol). Sleeping with him will not help you at all ESP emotionally right after or the next day. Sleeping with him gives him the upper hand in everything. He will feel like he can get you to do this all the time without him having to share in a relationship with you. He can not have his cake and eat it too ( I think this saying applies her).
As a guy I will say this and it might not totally apply to your situation or ex completely. Any girl I slept with say like a one night stand or sent a booty call, I had zero self respect for. Some one night stands I didn’t even care to know them or their name.
To me I don’t think sleeping with him will bring him back to you. It will probably open you up to feeling worse. If you can accept a pysical relationship without any emotional ties then it’s fine.
“I’m sorry, I’m seeing someone”
If you aren’t seeing anyone then this can be thrown out the window.
After spending 8 years with a girl…sex wasn’t the thing that kept me in that relationship for so long. I don’t think that can be used as a gauge for someone wanting to be with you. Their is so much more to a relationship that being pysical at least for me. It is important, but for me comparability and personality tops that by a huge margin. At the beginning of a relationship compared to a few years later that sizzle wears off.
Thanks Mike! I appreciate your honesty and opinion!
I agree, it wouldn’t help at all. It’s way more likely that me rejecting him will make him want me more.
And I wouldn’t say what he wants is a one night stand, but it definitely bothers me that he thinks he can so easily have me! He for sure believes he can be with me any time he wishes, that’s probably why this break up as been easy on him. I know he has to have some feelings for me because we’ve been close friends for 14 years, but he obviously doesn’t care that much to ask to be friends with benefits… you’re right, he doesn’t respect me. I’m a bit angry, but will play it cool and reject him calmly. God. He’s so arrogant!
oh I just read your second message.
I definitely agree, sex can’t be the only thing holding a relationship together! And it wasn’t. Our passion faded at times, and it worried him. He thinks that the passion should never fade in a relationship, which is ridiculous! Every relationship has their ups and downs. He thinks he’s so mature, but he really isn’t ready for a long term relationship.
I’m a bit angry, but will play it cool and reject him calmly.
That sounds like a good plan I would think.
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