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Posts
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Aphrodite, are you ok? I didn’t see the post that was deleted.
Shall try come back and answer the posts.
@aphrodite, hope you are ok!! I’m a bit worried about you! let us know you’re feeling alright 🙂
I am so sorry to hear about what happened with your ex, both of them. I cannot imagine your pain after having lost your first ex.
I don’t really know what to tell you, as this is some deep and personal stuff, I don’t want to influence your decision too much. I can understand why you feel the need to open up about it, and perhaps it’s the right thing to do as you are feeling an urge to right now. You’re saying you really need to get if off your chest, so perhaps you should just go for it. But make sure that is the reason you want to reach out, and that you don’t have hidden intentions of trying to reconcile because of it. If it’s the latter I believe you could open yourself up to more hurt.
Whatever decision you make, I support it! All the best to you
How are you doing now? Were you able to stay away from the yard sale?
I understand what you’re going through with your ex being done trying. My ex was done trying too, and it makes us feel like we weren’t worth a fight. My break up didn’t make sense to me either, but with time and NC is has made more sense, and I hope it will for you too. Feeling for you! You will feel stronger with NC!
@atea1234 Where are you today? I’m worried about youOk @atea1234 Nevermind that, just saw you’ve posted earlier. Having some technical issues clearly! Will respond x
Yes I’m fine ladies:) Just busy and will be the next couple of days.
So a new guy I met liked a photo of me and my ex kissing, by accident. Ex is tagged in it so he will receive an alert. It just made me laugh because my ex is going to wonder who the hell this guy is and why he’s liking that photo, maybe wondering if the guy is taunting him or something. I don’t expect my ex to reach out over it at aaaall, but I know he will be puzzled. This cheered me up a bit, but the sadness is beginning to return now.
Email before cake is decided.
Thank you for the pep talk atea!! I don’t think I’ve made that much progress but I appreciate you saying it! His response to my email will probably crush me to pieces again but it will be worth saying everything needed to say. I think… Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t because I’m afraid of being more hurt than I am… Then again, I shouldn’t base decisions on fear! That’s what I did in my doormat-days.Atea well done!!! You felt really down and almost called him – but you didn’t!! 10/10!! And you do sound like an excellent catch, so it’s his loss! You will feel more level again soon, you just need a few more NC days! 🙂 Hang in there, I know you will weather this storm of emotions! You too Belle!
How are you Belle?
The three amigos are good:)
@ryan6611
Yes, I stayed away from the sale. I did chores around the house – even putting in a new sprinkler head and installed new lighting. Now that I’m done im missing him more than ever. I want to call him and share what I was able to do – because I couldn’t have done it without him! I wouldn’t have had a clue how to change a sprinkler head or install a new porch light of I hadn’t helped him do it a million times.
So here I am – back on the boards looking to get my mind off of him. Ugh!@belle and @aphrodite, i missed you guys today!!! i slept at a friends apartment last night and didn’t have my laptop and typing on my phone was hard. but i am back now!
@aphrodite, i laughed out loud that your ex will get that notification!! thinking of him being puzzled and wondering who that guy is is making me happy. in response to you possibly not receiving the reply you want from your ex, i think thats why you should wait until you’re definitely emotionally ready to send it. i don’t think you’ll ever reach a point of indifference to him, but you need to get to a point before you send it that you will be ok with whichever response you receive and don’t expect much from it. you should keep working on it and editing it until you’re positive about what you’re sending. but yes no more decisions based on fear!! i try to tell myself this too. i can’t fear the future because i can’t control it. i need to follow my heart and do what i feel is right! but the more time I’ve had away from my ex the more I’ve realized any effort i make to reconcile with him is only slowing down this process. the absolute only thing that will bring him back is him having these other experiences and deciding I’m who he’s happiest with. i don’t even want him back until its out of his system. it could take 6 months or 6 years or somewhere in between or never. its a hopeless feeling knowing how long the road is ahead of me for me to either reconcile or be over him. one day at a time is the only way 🙂Evening ladies,
One day at a time is all we can do. We can’t get off this blasted emotional Rollercoaster! It’s never ending and won’t stop, not for a while anyway.
Aphrodite,
I like the idea of your ex getting a notification about the pic. Haha. He can shove it up his whoopsie! It will make him think of you for a bit so that’s a good thing!Atea, glad you missed us, it was good you went out without your laptop, I think getting a break from here is a good thing.
I too have been uber busy but as you know Monday is nearly here.
I never responded to his last email of stop pestering or he won’t come on Monday.
I’ve since received another one saying “am I still to call in the morning”I’m not sure how to respond. I feel like I don’t want too and but I may regret that.
Shall I just respond by a simple “yes”. Or “if you would like too”
How can I response be so massive!How would you respond ladies?
i would say something like “yes if you would like to”. it will show him that you want to hear from him but it is ultimately his decision. i will be shocked if he doesnt call if you say that. i think seeing him tomorrow will be a good thing to you. i hope it provides at least a little clarity! I’m getting so exhausted of missing him and this roller coasted. strangely I’m happiest when I’m posting to this forum!!
Thanks atea,
Yes this forum brings great comfort. I’m exhausted too and like yourself just think why the hell is he doing this. It’s soul destroying he doesn’t want to see me. Spend time together and have all the laughs he had together. It’s was all priceless.I’m kind of looking forward to tomorrow but not at the same time. I hope he doesn’t rush in and out. I hope for a lot of things but I guess he will be cold.
I’ve got the letter written for him which I shall give as he’s going.
If he puts it in the bin then it’s all his loss. He’s walking away from something great and solve able. By him not wanting to work things out also is him not wanting him to resolve his issues too. He will have to deal with that himself on his own which I doubt he will and take the whole lot with him where ever he goes and into his next relationship. Least I’m ahead of him and will get sorted out and be able to be open to whoever I meet.I’m going to bed soon atea so hope you have a good evening and sleep ok.
Next time I’m here shall tell you how the morning goes! Wish me luck! XMellen3869
I put up,a wall mounted headboard the other day on my own! I too wanted to tell him!good luck, @belle! i can’t wait to hear all about it. remember not to expect too much. also don’t be disheartened if the meeting doesnt go the way you want. i don’t think tomorrow will have a significant impact on what happens with him in the future. everything in the breakup is still new. even if he is cold tomorrow, whats to say a month from now he might start warming up to the idea? we need to be patient and not overanalyze!!! two things that are impossible for me!!!
i feel the same way as you. i walked through my exes neighborhood this morning on my way home from my friends apartment and i was walking down memory lane thinking about all of our jokes, incredible memories, our chemistry, and how natural our relationship felt. i wanted to march right over to his apartment and shake him for being such an idiot!! i mean it is so frustrating, really. but he seems content to give it all up so there is nothing i can do. he has the same memories as i do and if he genuinely believes he doesnt want the relationship anymore, its his loss. i can only hope with more space and time he can appreciate our relationship more.
i hope you sleep well and don’t worry too much about tomorrow!!!I’m sure you’re already sent it but “if you still want to” sounds great to me @Belle!
@Mellen3869 and @Belle I have also had so many moments of pride, where I managed tasks on my own! I’m getting good with tech:) See? We don’t need ’em that much!
@Belle deep breaths, you will do absolutely fine. He’s into you, I can tell from everything you’ve said. Stay graceful.
@atea1234 was so happy to hear that made you laugh too! 🙂 This forum is so uplifting, I also feel my best when I’m writing here.Talk more later. x
Good luck for tomorrow, @Belle! I agree – try not to expect, well anything really. And don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t go as well as you would like. He’s probably stressing about coming over and how it will go and what you will say/do/think, so he might be on the defensive and not his best self either. You could try and take the more positive role to compensate and maybe try to make him feel more comfortable by being nice to him (in case he might expect otherwise) and express genuine happiness to see him. So he’s left with a positive emotion from seeing you. If he says anything abrasive, just brush it off and come vent here later. Don’t let him see he’s rattled you. And in case you haven’t finished your letter yet, that could also maybe end on a positive note? But I’m sure you’ve already done a great job with it. Good luuuck! 🙂
(I’m still here checking in and replying every now and then, day 21 and doing okay! It does get better! Really! And you girls have been a huge help!)
Thanks everyone. I’m in bed now with butterflies! I will look tired tomorrow but I know I will open the door with a big smile, I always do, find it hard not too, I think it’s a nervous thing. I’m going to be nice as Unimare said, leave him with a good impression.
You’re right atea, what ever happens tomorrow, who knows what will happen in a few months time.The letter is done and 100% positive and motivated. The end of the day if he wants to throw away 8 years and my positive outlook and willing to do anything to resolve issues well he’s an idiot.
He punched above his weight with me and got lucky. If D came back and he’s a dish and still fancys the pants off me then clearly there is something about me guys like. I’m going to ooze LOA tomorrow as you can tell, I’m in the right mode and ready to wow him. He’s not seen me for 2 months.
If he doesn’t want me then it’s his loss. He will have to accept someone else less attractive and not have the same quirky ness I have. He won’t find it twice in his life that’s for sure.Signing out now all and see you on the other side!
Sleep well everyone!
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