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Posts
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@maebe
This is what I recommend:
Schedule your days into slots where you are productive and slots where you’re allowed to think about it as much as you can, vent, and express yourself. Write, paint, sing, cry, watch YouTube videos and read self-help books. Get all that out of your system:) Thats what I’m gonna do… So for example if I’m cleaning up I’ll decide then I will only clean up and not do anything else for 30 minutes, then I’ll have a break of venting. If it’s hard, make the time shorter! So just 5 minutes of work, then you’re allowed to think about it again. Hope that helps
Thank you! I hope your situation improves also, and that you too find happiness!
I laughed when I read what you wrote, than men generally are harsh people that say stupid things at an alarming rate. I think a lot of men have a general tendency to act and speak without having thought through the situation. Personally I believe this happens because most men grow up believing they shouldn’t cry or express any sadness. Anger seems to be a lot more allowed than crying. And they say anger is a fist full of uncried tears. I think a lot of emotions therefore have been learnt to be ignored. This might make it harder to mentalise what emotions someone else has if it’s not blatantly visible, and in turn men may be ignoring emotions to themselves or at least hiding how they feel, afraid to talk from the heart in case they will be seen as weak. I’m not a man so I don’t know, but I imagine one of the biggest concerns for a man is to not appear weak in front of his woman. So instead they get angry, neglectful, cold, distant, say stupid things they don’t really mean and remove themselves from the situation if it gets hard – instead of opening up, exploring their emotions and communicating what they’re really feeling. It’s a paradox because I think most women find it incredibly attractive when a man is openly and proudly emotional. I mean proudly in the sense that he isn’t afraid of what others thinks about how he’s reacting, and isn’t afraid to show “weakness”. Showing “weakness” is actually a great strength because it means you’re daring to be yourself.
My ex didn’t want any confrontation as well, which was very frustrating because I never felt like I could get over any of the issues as they were never discussed in a proper way. Whenever I brought up something that he’d done that upset me, he would deflect the blame back on to me and bring up his own issues during that those times only. I wish he had come to me and confronted me about what he felt about our relationship and what was going on with him emotionally.
Does any of this resonate with you? Do you think you’ve been running from and repressing emotions?
Haha okay, well that was a good lurk at least! But I think you should leave it at that now! And I think you will be a lot more proud of yourself if you wait until you’ve finished your 30 days to reach out. It’s not long now!! That will also give yourself a week to see if he does contact you, as ideally we want them to chase us and not the other way around!
You can do it!!:)
A big yes to both. Growing up all I ever heard from coaches,my dad,and friends was you have to tough and show no weakness. I could never imagine not being tough in front of those people, because ESP friends will laugh at you lol.
It was a weird switch to turn on when you are with a girlfriend. I always wanted to be the tough one and let her be the emotional one who would tell me how she feels so I could talk her through her situation. We had the discussion like a million times lol about how I need to show what I’m feeling. I did get better at it after so many years but even then would hide most of it. When I’m upset or angry I would rather be alone or I get quiet. I only raised my voice like 3 times in 8 plus years because I never thought it was a good idea to yell. She would call our disagreements as arguments and I would always say nope this is a discussion. I would stay calm. Here is my problem with I guess women. They don’t forget anything you have ever said that might be negative. My ex would bring up things I said like 5 years earlier that could have been negative. How can I possibly say things that are constructive criticisms when they will be brought up and never forgotten lol. She wants to hear my thoughts but then I know it would bother her to hear them. Why even bring them up. I’d rather her just tell me what I did wrong lol cause I could handle it. Maybe that was just us tho lol.
I did get better over time with expressing what was bothering me in life not relating to our relationship and she would acknowledge that but I didn’t like doing it that much.
I’ll share a story…I hope she doesn’t ever visit this site because this would be a dead giveaway considering my login name.
A year into our relationship she invited me over to her college house and said we would be going out to eat so dress nice. I’m not like most guys and like to dress nice to go out so I was all about it. I got there and she made me a romantic dinner with candles and nice small table and cooked it all herself. I completely bugged out when I saw this and honestly didn’t know how react to this at like 21 years old. For her it wasn’t more than a nice romantic dinner and her showing me how much she cared, but for me it was an awkward situation and I didn’t act my best that day. I don’t know why I felt that way looking back and it always bothered me and she would like to bring it up years later. It’s just something about being a guy I guess
Yeah I’m paranoid about the small probability of my ex being on this site and recognising me too! Even though I’m very sure he isn’t!!
I completely understand, and I think that’s why a lot of heterosexual couples have similar issues. The women feel like they’re not being heard, seen, acknowledged and appreciated in an emotional sense. Whereas they guys are often all new to this stuff! What kind of bothers me is thinking my ex will benefit from everything I’ve taught him in his next relationship (if it isn’t with me). Maybe that’s bitter of me…
I imagine it’s difficult for men to put their emotions into words because they’re so used to repressing them without identifying the cause, and that’s why conflicting (and sometimes stupid) messages come out.
My ex also wanted to be alone or went quiet when he was angry or upset.And I have to laugh!! It’s so true!! We really don’t forget a single bad word that was said from our men! My biggest issue with my ex was feeling like I never got a proper apology and that he understood how it was hurtful. So if you do get the chance to talk to your ex, this is something I really recommend. Apologise as much as you can, and then some (if you’re normally quite restrictive), explain why you behaved the way you did, and let her know you really understand how this would have been upsetting and why. If you’re with her, hold her hand and look into her eyes, talk calmly and slowly. Don’t add anything like “BUT… When you did this and that, I felt the same”, just be completely humble and exposed, then leave the situation, talk about something else or just leave. That’s what I recommend anyway as it’s what I would have wanted from my ex. I know you would be thinking “Geez but that was 5 years ago, who cares” but if you just do the proper apology, it’s likely you won’t have to hear about it again. If she does bring it up again, do the same, until she gets it into her head that you are really sorry and wouldn’t have done the same now. I think it’s very important to apologise for specific things too. Being up all the things, and don’t just say “I’m sorry for all the hurt I caused” because that still makes her wonder if you’re aware of all the times you did. So bring them up one by one, and don’t be afraid that reminding her of them will make her think less of you! Because it won’t!!!
You’re saying this is how she reacted to constructive criticism though, so it could be that she has an issue with criticism, I.e. Low self worth, self esteem. In that case you could ask her if it’s really about something else, because she should know you love her already.
It’s funny my ex said the same: “she wants to hear my thoughts but then I know it would bother her to hear them”, he was saying he felt like everything was futile because when he did express himself I didn’t believe him or didn’t like what he had to say. I didn’t believe him because, well, he’s a very good liar so it’s so hard to tell what’s genuine and what isn’t. I therefore wanted him to keep reinforcing, maybe my logic was that if he says it enough times I’ll believe it. And I didn’t always like what he said, because he could be quite harsh without filtering what he meant in a nicer way. For example I was upset and crying about a sick relative and he said “you gotta live your life, forget about it”. That was harsh to hear for me because it is impossible to just forget about it. Instead he could have said “I’m seeing how much this is hurting you, and it’s hurting me to see you this way. I want to see you happy. Do you think you could be able to remove it from your mind now and then, so that you can feel some peace?” See the difference?
I don’t know if you recognise yourself in the first statement. The first statement was meant as constructive criticism but came across harsh, but the other one was more explanative and gentle.The mistake I made was to “attack him” for telling me to just forget it, as if that’s so easy! Accuse him of not being empathic enough (which just led to an argument) instead of asking questions as to what he really meant and why he said it that way.
Regarding your story I can see why she got upset, because she had put a lot of work into a romantic dinner for you and was probably full of expectation for the evening, wanting you to tell her compliments about the food, how she looks, the atmosphere she created and how much you love and appreciate her. I would think you felt awkward because the whole setting was way too emotional for you, maybe too romantic. Something you’re not comfortable with yet?
I think my ex may have been quite bothered by the ways in which he hurt me, but a mistake he made was to never tell me this!! And when I brought it up he wasn’t able to handle it at all – now I think maybe this could be because he had already been punishing himself for it internally without my knowing? If I had just known he really was sorry, there wouldn’t have been a need for me to bring it up, I would have felt bad if I brought it up knowing he beats himself up for it already. Any thoughts on this?
@aphrodite, thanks for your post – it made me smile! I’m going to stick with my gut feeling for now. its making the days bearable. i find myself actually enjoying certain aspects of nc (shocking!) like my ex is much more social than me and when i stay in on a saturday night i almost feel at ease that he doesnt know and isn’t judging me. i also feel like our relationship will be much stronger when he comes back and i think i still feel excitement over how great it will feel to see him again after so many months apart. i am getting wayyy ahead of myself but for right now its making this time easier and if my situation hasn’t changed at all in a few months then maybe my mindset will change. also, i can totally relate to what you said about being bothered by your ex not being scared of losing you. i really struggle with this as well. i am an attractive, fun, smart, and very loyal person. my ex knows i could without a doubt find a new boyfriend if i wanted to – yet he doesnt seem nervous at all! I’m not sure if he genuinely is so ok with the possibility of losing me or if he just feels that I’m so in love with him and will always be there and ready at his beckon call when he wants to come back. I’m not sure, but it really bothers me that he isn’t afraid of losing me. but i guess his internal desires to explore were greater than his fear of losing me. he told me if we stayed together another few years and then got married he would always resent me for not having time off and he’s confident that if its meant to be this time off will only strengthen us and not pull us apart. I’m not sure if he genuinely believes that. when we broke up he told me either way it was a risk that he would have regrets – if we didn’t break up then he would always resent me for not having given him the chance to see what else is out there and if we did break up he could possibly lose me. he told me he knew 1000% he would resent me if we didn’t break up and wasn’t sure whether or not he would regret this time off so thats why he made his choice. i guess it must have been difficult for him but he did what felt right. as for the study your dad told you about, i 1000% agree!!! thats why I’m saying the longer we stay in nc, the better. we are all feeling our emotions out at the beginning of our break ups and venting and letting it all out there and letting ourselves feel the pain. i think our exes must feel happiness and relief initially because they were the ones to end things after all. they also probably distracted themselves through work, going out with friends, etc. i think eventually once they have some real alone time to just think everything through and get tired from constantly trying to distract themselves that they will start to go through similar emotions we are going through now. thats when i believe they might make contact. we will heal in time and it will only get harder for them 🙂
@mike2014, its so interesting to hear a guys perspective! my ex was very calm throughout our whole relationship. i picked stupid fights with him sometimes but he almost never got angry at me. if he did, he wouldn’t want to talk about it and would just shut down for a small amount of time and talk to me when he was ready. throughout our breakup he’s shown a lot of indifference. I’ve seen him cry twice over this and he’s told me he has good days and bad days but he’s never really reached out to tell me how he’s feeling when. I’m not sure if he doesnt want to confuse me or send mixed emotions, if he’s just generally pretty happy, or he’s indifferent about the whole thing. its very confusing! when i push him to ask what he’s thinking hell always say something ambiguous like he hopes we get back together with time and he knows our relationship will be so much stronger if we reconcile aftr this. other than that, he’s been so stoic throughout. maybe he acts this way to make it easy on me or maybe he really is indifferent. guys are so hard to read sometimes!In general I don’t like to express what is bothering me or my insecurities. Most guys just don’t want to do that. I wouldn’t say that I was mean to my ex at all. She actually had it pretty good. I would nit pick about stupid things but in general she was a really sensitive person. I would say that I wasnt mean like most my friends are to their wives and girlfriends. I am just a sarcastic person. I know in the whole 8 years we never once said to each other that we hated the other or threatened breaking up. A lot of our arguments were because we both were independent people who liked to spend time alone. Over time tht became alittle exhausting because we would only towards the end see each other like 3 times a week. We both were unhappy with life in general and our path in life at the end, not so much each other. That wore us down I think.
That dinner happened like 7 years ago now so at that time it was just a different situation for me. honestly I think I was just alittle scared because of how much she cared for me. lol even now it’s hard for me to express exactly why I acted that way.
This is what I think really happened to us. We both really loved each other and did want to spend our lives together. I know she didn’t break up with me because of my personality or because I didn’t treat her well. She always tells me that even now that I was a great person. Our relationship the last two years of it just kind of stayed the same and never went to the next step. Our financial situations even though we went to college and such didn’t just take off. We both went and studied things that require long hours for not much pay. We became so unhappy with that it kept creeping into our relationship. When you are unhappy with yourself like we both were, it’s hard to be happy together. The relationship met a stalemate. We both lost ourselves at the end. I’m finally back and doing good.According to her brother who really likes me and still reaches out, she’s doing better but doesn’t seem happy to him still. She told me the last time I saw her when I asked her how she is feeling( not about us) and if she’s happy she still said not really but has better days. I can’t expect her at our age (almost 30) to wait around till I could finally feel financially set enough to ask for her hand.
Atea,
I know how I am is that I keep everything inside. I beat myself up over stupid things I said and still do now lol. So he definitely isn’t indifferent. No one can be indifferent about someone they care about. He probably like most guys would rather keep it to himself. I acted like nothing ever bothered me, when the truth was a lot of things bother me or upset me. I just wouldn’t like people to know. He seems like a good guy, so he doesn’t want to send mixed signals definitely. He is the one who asked for space so if he kept communicating with you it would be confusing for you. You would be like why does he keep talking to me, but not want to be back with me. That’s my opinion, but you know him best. In 8 plus years I didn’t cry once in front of her. When we first talked after, when she cried I cried and she even said wow I never saw you cry. We don’t like to cry lol.
Aphrodite
Honestly I do not know why I said some of the things I did. Some times I really think it was just to get a rise out of her because she didn’t like it. She was really sensitive tho because most of the things I said were really weak. Now, some people are just flat out mean and that’s a whole different situation. I have a friend like that who I can’t even hang with him and now wife. We went out to dinner and she’s not even heavy and he kept calling her fat. That’s just a mean person. I would never have acted like that. Some guys think they have to keep there girls in check…I personally have no effing clue what that even means. I also would always apologize if I felt I was in the wrong…so I don’t feel like I did anything crazy enough I would have to apologize for now.I know you asked more questions.. I will read your post again tomorrow and follow up.
Day 11 of NC.
It makes me really confused and angry that he hasn’t contacted me. It just makes me think that if I’m not there to push it and initiate, he is fine not having me in his life. He doesn’t have any close female friends and frankly I don’t think he would know what to do with them. He and his friends never take girls as their equals, they never invite girls to hang out with them, unless they need someone to gawk at and flirt with and make inappropriate comments to. And yet he would always get so insecure and offended if I was better than him at something that wasn’t cooking or cleaning. I had to kind of stay quiet about it and lay low and pretend it wasn’t a big deal, or he’d mope about it. I don’t even think I could be friends with someone like that? What would we even talk about?
Yet I can’t help but feel like I’m losing something that I need to hold on to. Although I’m pretty sure his loss is greater than mine, he’s not a very interesting friend! He’s only good at talking about finance and money (which I have no interest in), he didn’t challenge me in any way or teach me anything new; I was even the funny one out of the two of us. What’s really my loss here? We were really compatible as a couple, but even then I felt like I needed someone more challenging.
And if he’s really enjoying his single life of working 9 to 5, frozen pizza as dinner every night, drinking every weekend and finding hookups on tinder… then well, I’m really glad I don’t fit into that life. If I was looking for someone new right now and read his description on a profile somewhere, I would skip over him immediately. He just grew up to be someone I don’t like. So yes, in a way the job changed him. But actually he was probably always waiting to become exactly that person. And I deserve better than that.
UFFFfff, sorry. I’m totally pulling the curve of “being mature about the breakup” down in this group, but I just wanted to vent. And remind myself that I don’t actually want him back and that I’m holding on out of habit, or addiction even. And I may not have that many friends, but having him as a friend would be more hassle than it’s worth.
Especially as I read your posts here and actually see people that are convinced they’re right for each other. I’m so rooting for you and can’t wait to read posts about having reconciled with your exes.. In the meantime, I think it’s best I count my losses and move on.
(Let’s see if I sing a different tune tomorrow, lol)
I was feeling great today after my exercise!! Then I went to my therapist who said it’s likely my ex is seeing someone else based on the info I gave. Now I’m feeling all down again. I’m so sick and tired of this roller coaster. I wish I could cut all my emotional ties to him, and I wish I hadn’t stayed with him for so many years only for him to hurt and leave me like this. Such a waste.
Good- I’m happy to hear you’ve decided to trust your gut for now:)
I agree with you, it is pretty awesome that they have no idea (unless he’s found this site….) how down I am about it all, and that I stay in on weekends reading self-help books!
Hey whatever works/helps! If picturing how it will be when you start seeing him again helps then do that:) There is absolutely nothing wrong with it!Argh I feel for you about the “not afraid of losing us” thing. I think the reason they aren’t is because they know they have us wrapped around their fingers, we’re a safe bet to them.
That’s definitely what I think it is. However with my ex, I think he’s moved onto a new phase in his life and sees me as belonging to the old one – and he wants someone else.It’s likely your ex had the realisation that life is short, and he wishes he had met you later on, because he wants to have experienced being a free bird. There’s nothing wrong with that. I wish my ex had said that to me as it would have been easier to handle – it’s something very understandable considering the length of our relationships and when they started. But when your ex realised he may loose you for good I can’t imagine he would do anything else but run after you.
You’re right, or exes are more likely to repress their feelings and distract themselves. Also both of our exes have more going on than us to distract them! But we’ll get busier too, and really we’re just lucky to have this time to get it all out of our systems. It will likely start creeping up on your ex, and if already has as he got in touch!
Aphrodite,
How can your therapist say that! How does she know by what you say that he’s seeing someone else!
You are telling your therapist how you feel and see things,your perspective but it might not be the case. We are all highly cynical, paranoid and think the worst of everything so we reflect that in the way we talk. I think it was too harsh and insensitive for her to say that he’s probably seeing someone else!
If you really want to know what your ex is doing then I’d ask straight out and spare the sensitivity. Of he is indeed seeing someone and has every intention in leaving you in the past it would be an ideal opportunity for him to set the record straight for you.Yes it’s an emotional roller coaster and it’s exhausting, I’m getting fed up with it! I’m also thinking how nasty my ex is. That helps me! The nastier I think of him the better I feel. He’s cut me off totally and said things like he doesn’t feel the need to discuss anything. Nasty. Not sure I really want him back to be honest. He will never acknowledge his contribution of he way he has been. His sitting on his pedestal with the sun shinning out his back side!
I’m glad I’ve not responded to his email nor sent my long email to him. I will send it, if he’s got a sense he will read it and absorb but I think he’s too busy with his ego ontop of the pedestal.I just it all so bizarre that you share your life with someone year after year and they just casually walk on out without even a “I don’t want you back but are you OK?”
I could never cut someone out my life just like that. Never.
I guess some people care more about themselves than others!Well there is some fairly convincing evidence really. I already asked my ex, and he said no. However when he said no he did his tell tale sign that he’s lying. And I don’t want to ask any more because frankly I would be crushed to obliteration if he said yes. I think I would explode in fury, because this is all regarding some girl he’s lied to me about before. At the time he completely destroyed my trust, it was the one time I felt soul-crushed by his lies, as he had sworn right before to always tell the truth, shook my hand on it and all.
Also I already know he has every intention of leaving me in the past as he sad he would probably never want to get back together. I’m just reading too much into the fact that he’s stated he wants to be friends so much, had cold feet when I was there to collect my stuff, and seemed curious about my New Years night. Really it’s over. I shouldn’t be waiting for him, and still I find myself doing it. I still can’t get my heart to understand that it’s over.What have I been doing with man being a wanker to me for so many years… I was way too optimistic. The sad truth is that I wouldn’t have been able to break up with him as my love is just way too strong:(
Yes what your ex said in the email was nasty ! I understand why he’s doing it but that doesn’t make it right. He should not have cut himself out of your sons life like that, it’s appalling behaviour. I don’t doubt he has amazing qualities but he’s acting like a d*ck (atea will wake up soon and be good cop – lol).
I really hope the email you send will have a positive effect. If it doesn’t then really this was good riddance entirely.
“Thank you for making me realise I made a mistake in wanting to take you back” would be an appropriate answer to that.And I knooooow!! Where is the “just wondering.. How are you?” text??? After all these years!! I could never cut someone out like that either!
I just want this to be over. I just want to be over him completely. I want my gut feeling to go away so I can move on.
@mike2014, i think your perspective on my situation is accurate. i think he definitely hasn’t reached out because he doesnt want to send mixed signals. he told me he’s always happy to hear from me but has tried to respect my space to move on. he did show emotion in front of me when he broke up with me – he was sobbing! he teared up a little when getting his stuff from my apartment and again after we said goodbye when we met for lunch 6 weeks ago. i also don’t think he really discussed our break up with his family and friends. i discuss with my friends, my mom and sister, and also on this forum. i wonder if bottling everything up and keeping it to himself will build up and cause him to breakdown eventually? I’m really not sure because he’s always so level headed and calm
@aphrodite, glad to hear you were feeling good after exercise – its helped me the most since the breakup! i agree with belle that is an awful thing for your therapist to say and based off listening to your story, i wouldn’t assume that at all! also i know our break ups are different but even if he is seeing someone, have you considered that might be a good thing? at least for me, it does make me sick to picture my ex out with other girls but he won’t come back to me unless he does go on dates and meet other girls and decide its me he wanted all along. i think i am pretty confident in our connection so him going on dates almost puts me at ease because i think he’ll never realize how good we had it unless he gives it a try with other girls. i think the same could definitely be true with your ex. you’ve been together for 10 years! it will be nearly impossible for any girl to compete with so much love and history so shortly after. if he is seeing someone, it is most definitely a rebound. as far as our exes not being afraid to lose us, unfortunately, i reinforced this at the beginning of our breakup. i told him i knew he was the one and loves him, never wanted to lose him, etc. it makes me sick to think i said those things now!!! but i think sticking to nc is showing him a much stronger side to me than he expected so i hope that will change his view. plus what i said to him new years day was true, i haven’t put pressure to wait for him or to move on. just taking things one day at a time and using the law of attraction and seeing what will find me! its funny when we first broke up i always imagined our reconciliation occurring by my calling him and asking to meet up because he’s soo stubborn but I’ve progressed beyond that and now i know if any reconciliation will take place it will be because HE calls ME and can prove his dedication! i guess I’m getting stronger or perhaps just having a good day.
@belle, it sounds like you’re entering the anger stage and i don’t blame you!! this happened to me around the 6 week mark after my breakup. my ex came to get his stuff from my apartment and cried, kissed me, and kept saying i love you. when he left he never texted me or anything!! finally i snapped telling him how unfair it was for him to do that to me. he knew i didn’t want to break up and wanted to be with him so it was unfair of him to do those things! i think thats why now he’s so worried about sending mixed signals. anyway i wasn’t strong enough to keep nc at that point and said some pretty nasty things to him at that point, so I’m proud of you for sticking with this! because most likely your anger won’t last. it will come and go! thats whats been happening for me. one day he’s still on a pedestal as this perfect guy and the “one” but the next i feel actual hatred towards him for trying to cut me off and for using me almost as a backup option. it comes and goes. but i agree your ex is behaving very selfishly! i could never cut someone out that way either. keep giving him time, i do think he will come around eventually. he is being stubborn about all of this!so before i went nc for the first time, in mid november, i had asked my ex if there was anything i can do to speed this process along. and he had told me he wanted to talk “slowly” and see each other “occasionally”. i had agreed initially, but then after i saw him beginning of december and i saw how far away he was from being ready to commit, i asked him not to contact me. so I’m assuming since i stopped reaching out he’s taken this as a sign that i don’t want to take things “slowly”. i told him that only made sense if we were on a path towards reconciliation and thats not a path he wants to head down at this point. so I’m assuming he’s dropped this idea and will only start really initiating if he feels ready at a point. its so tempting to ask what he’s thinking all the time!! i wish i knew how thoughts were developing in his mind! I’m pretty sure if he’s seeing someone its not serious as he reached out to me last week and also when i asked how he had been he was quick to say “working a lot and spending time with friends”. he’s also told me repeatedly he wants to be single right now with no girlfriend. this just makes me wonder: do you think he will want time to be single and then come back to me? or do you think he will first want time to be single and then date other people and then come back to me?
@aphrodite, you’re also entering the anger stage. as I’ve said to belle, it comes and goes. I’ve found myself being angry at my ex for things he did 5 years ago that i haven’t even thought of since then since we broke up! its all part of the motions. trust your gut. even if he doesnt come back you WILL have another conversation with him and get the closure you need to put it behind you. none of us are ready for that discussion yet and neither are our exes!! we just need to keep doing our time, feeling these emotions, and avoid breaking nc!!
Fancy all coming round to my place tonight? Lol
I’m bored, I’m lonely, I’m pissed off. We’ve got another lonesome weekend coming! Jeeze….on a good note, well not sure if it’s good but old ex D wants to meet up tomorrow afternoon. Well I’ve got nothing else on…. And he’s rather eager so would be rude not too…hehe. Any port I a storm eh…. Sod love addiction! Haha
My therapist recommended a couple of self help books…facing love addiction by pia mellody and facing codependancy by same author. Aphrodite, I know this might be up your street.
😉
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