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Yeah, if you want to tell her thank you and say something about her orientation, I would just keep it to a minimum. See how she reacts and then take it from there if you need to start NC again or not. Just kinda feel the whole thing out. That way you’ll know.
Texted her about noon yesterday, no response. Makes me feel pretty crummy, I just don’t get it.
Well, you tried. If she’s just going to ignore you, it’s really childish….downright B.S. I’m sorry you’re feeling crummy. It just sounds like she still has a lot of growing up to do and is still being immature about her feelings. All I can say is just to keep focusing on you. You don’t deserve that.
I hope you can feel better soon….if you were around San Antonio, I’d invite you to go hang out and talk everything out.
I’m doing some better, I guess she ended up texting me back but it was a pretty generic ‘thanks, I appreciate it’ kind of thing. So I pretty much just said you’re welcome and I’m sure I won’t hear from her. It was still pretty cold from her but it did make me feel better she at least acknowledge it. But yeah I’m done with her now, that was the last time I’m initiating contact with her. We’ll see how long it takes for her to come into contact with me now. I’m guessing it will be awhile but that’s probably for the best. At that point I guess I’ll decide if I want to end everything for good or not because I know exactly how to push her buttons to make her feel awful. I’d like to think I’m a better man than that but I’m done being treated like crap.
I know her and she always does end up apologizing for her mistakes when she has a guilty conscience. I don’t even know how she can sleep at night right now.
That would be fun to hang out if I was in San Antonio. Especially since I could probably use some time away from home, I’d be nice to go somewhere far away for a little while, this week has been pretty crazy for me.
I am supposed to go see my ex’s brother later in the hospital and I am more than sure she’ll be there. I want so bad to say….hey Alicia! Abandon any new people lately? lol I am going to try like hell to behave but who knows. I would love to push her buttons and make her feel bad for once. I don’t even care anymore if I did.
At least your ex acknowledged your txt….even if it took her awhile. But enough is enough and you’re right….you shouldn’t be treated like crap anymore. Like I said….all of that is BS. If she can’t sleep at night, that’s totally on her for not owning up to everything. The whole back and forth is nonsense. Maybe one day she will stop running away from everything. I would call my ex a coward to her face if I had the chance because….what do you call someone who doesn’t fight for the person they supposedly loved so much?
Yeah, it would be cool if you were down here. Let me know, the offer is always up.
Jeez that’s a crummy situation, I hope he is doing alright. Being the ‘bigger’ person definitely is hard sometime. I’ve decided I won’t do that to my ex, I’m better than that. My frustration just gets to me sometimes.
It is good she acknowledged me and to be fair to her she did say she had college orientation Sunday and yesterday so she probably didn’t have much time to text even though it would have only taken a few seconds to shoot one back. That’s always how she’s been and probably won’t ever change. What she wants is space right now but she doesn’t even tell me that which is extremely frustrating, she’s changes in the last year and has gotten very poor at communicating. She’ll seek me out eventually but I’m going to make her do that which I haven’t done in the past. I’m not going to look for another relationship per se but I’m going to be open to one if the situation arises. I think that’s a good plan of attack for right now.
I’m with ya on the ex being a coward. Mine did the same, wouldn’t fight for it. It’s an awful thing. It’s hard for me to speculate on your ex but with mine she’s never really had to fight for anything before and she hasn’t faced many hardships in life so she takes things for granted. I feel like it’s that way for a lot of people and could be for yours as well but obviously you know her better than I.
If I’m ever in San Antonio I’ll be sure to let you know! I’m guessing I’m not going to be down there unless they have a good school for mechanical engineering in the area lol. It would be nice to go down there in the winter but with student loans it’s not like I have a whole lot of extra money. College kid problems lol
He’s barely 35 but very overweight and had surgery to fix stuff on his heart. He was sleeping when I went by at 8 and my ex wasn’t there so I’m happy about that. I’m still so hurt and angry, who knows what I might tell her if I saw her. But, I took him some “get well” balloons and a card I made for him on the computer. I told the nurse to tell him Phillip stopped by and brought balloons and the card. She goes…I sure will. lol
I am glad she at least acknowledged you. But yes, she should have taken 2 seconds to say something, because it’s disappointing to not know if she was going to respond or not. Yeah, I wish she would just be upfront and blunt and tell you what she needs, space, time, whatever. She will seek you out and she will miss you, that’s a given. But I would definitely keep it very short when she does. Keeping your options open is a very good idea and I’m glad you’re doing that.
My ex, I won’t make excuses for her but her dad pretty much disowned her when he couldn’t control her anymore and kicked her out of his life for like a year and then he had heart problems and died. But she is doing the same damn thing to me as she’s done to the ex’s that cheated on her and her dad did to her. I guess since your ex had it easier, she really had more of a chance to sit back and take things for granted. But then again, mine went through hardships and still didn’t fight for me and took me for granted.
Yeah, if you ever get to come down here someday, it would great to visit and hang out. I’m sure with college the way it is you won’t have a lot of money but the offer is still open to someday. 🙂
Hey Baseballguy and Phil, how are you?
Let me ask, have you completed the NC? I say you were at least 30 days without contact?
And when contacted how was it? I ask this because I am coming to the end of the 30 days and I think I will wait more.
To tell the truth I do not know if it is worth the effort because to me it seems that everything is lost.
What horrible situation to be in.
Thanks.
That’s tough for your friend, I hope they fixed the issue. I’ll keep him in my thoughts and prayers. It was very kind of you to bring him things, it really shows your character. I’m glad you didn’t have to confront her, she doesn’t deserve any more of your time. The pain and frustration for you is total BS and could have been avoided if she hadn’t acted so childish.
That’s tough for your ex but you’re right it doesn’t excuse her behavior. Just like ignorance doesn’t really excuse my ex’s behaivor but it is a reason, albeit not a very good one. I would think that if she went through those hardships she would appreciate you even more. I’m guessing deep down she probably does but she lets it manifest itself in anger and frustration, which is all she knows. Whatever the reason, you don’t deserve that treatment.
I’ll sure let you know if I’m heading down. I was actually thinking about it and maybe I could go down there during spring break one year. I’m not a ‘party-er’ and I don’t drink so that kind of thing never really appealed to me but I could probably plan it out and find stuff to do for a week or so. Maybe go see a Spurs game, see the Alamo, that kind of thing would be cool. And if you ever come up to my neck of the woods to like Fargo/Moorehead or even Minneapolis/St. Paul for whatever reason, I’d find time to drive down and hang out if you wanted.
@misterhandy
I did a 28 day period of NC once. The 30 days is a nice guideline but every situation will have different amounts of NC. If you feel you need more, do more.
When I first contacted my ex again, things were very businesslike but overall friendly.
Only you know if you’re ready to contact her again and if you are unsure, it’s probably good to wait a little longer.
Thank you. He txted me he loved the card and balloons. He said I should have woke him up and I was like, nah man, you were sleeping peacefully. But yes, I am always doing something like that to those I care about.
lol it’s funny you say that….that is exactly what I wanted to say to her if I saw her….still ignoring me? What are you….5? Grow the fuck up, Alicia. Oh, you got that right….my ex is definitely an ignorant person….an ignorant ass.
You said, “I’m guessing deep down she probably does but she lets it manifest itself in anger and frustration, which is all she knows.”
You knocked that one out of the ballpark. I thought I would use that one since you’re a baseball player. lol but seriously, that was perfect the way you said it. You’re 120% right on that.
Yeah, I understand and I’m not a partier or a drinker either. Only time I would drink is if I’m really upset but then that’s not often at all. Yeah, that would be cool if you were able to come down. We could go to the Spurs game or riverwalk or something. I’ll definitely let you know if I’m ever up that way too.
@ Mister Handy….I totally agree with Baseballguy. I would definitely weigh your options and keep NC going if you feel you need to.
Well with the ignorance part, unfortunately I know from experience. My ex sometimes just couldn’t see things the way I can. To me it would be as clear as day what she was doing but no matter how much she tried she just couldn’t see it. It wasn’t because she was stupid, because she isn’t but sometimes I just wanted to say “Faith just cut it out, you gotta trust me!” And I did a few times and to her credit for the most part she listened but in the end I didn’t want to appear controlling.
Lol also unfortunately I’m better at reading people sometimes than actually communicating it to them. I also like the baseball references ?
It sounds like you knew your ex better than she knew herself a lot of the times. I think it’s so weird people don’t see what they’re doing and then you point it out to them and sometimes they get it and sometimes they don’t. I guess it’s easier for someone else on the outside to see those things. Yeah, I can understand you don’t want to be controlling. I just think sometimes for some reason they need to be put in their place when they get out of line like that. This kinda reminds me too much of the olden days when men were the ones always in charge and whatever they said goes at all times and the wife just has to grin and bear it and not speak out against it. And then I think sometimes women just want someone who is strong and protective and at the same time won’t put up with their BS. But why go to that extreme to begin with? Like sometimes there has to be conflict for some reason.
You actually hit the nail on the head with what you said. It was so true, everything….you see it so clearly…even more than I can since you don’t have feelings involved with my ex. It always pays to listen to someone on the outside of the situation looking in.
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