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(This is a venting post)
So, it’s been a week to the day since I handed her the letter, and at this point, I’m sure she won’t answer it.
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that; last week, when I texted her that I wrote her something that I wanna give her, she was the one who called me over, KNOWING the point of it is to get the letter, so not answering seems just unfair.
It’s just pure disappointment- when we met it was great, she called it “an escape from reality”, told me she missed me and now this…don’t know what’s going on at her side, but as much as I care for her, this seems a little too bitter to swallow.
So, a slap on the head or just an opinion, take your pick lol
Hey!
I’m so sorry to hear that. For right now I don’t think there’s anything else you can do, and continuing to press the issue might make things worse. Unfortunately there’s no “time stamp” or “due date” on these things, and often times, more time is better. Counterintuitive and frustrating, but true. Just keep doing you, you’ve done super well so far, focus on you. The more you try to control or force things, the less control you’ll have, if that makes sense.
🙂
It does, and I’m not trying to control it, not for the past few months (though I did back when it was all fresh…doesn’t work); I just expected her to be decent and respond, even if it’s to say she doesn’t want anything to do with me. It’s called common decency. If you didn’t want to know what I had to say, don’t call me over, don’t take my letter, but you can’t do both these things and then just ignore the whole thing.
But what’s done is done. I thought of calling her, of telling her that I understand she doesn’t wanna get back though she could’ve responded in any number of ways, and that as of right now, I’ll appreciate if she wouldn’t contact me for whatever reason; but what’s the point? At this point, the only thing I can do is let it go, and maybe she’ll come around, maybe she won’t, and maybe my door won’t be open when she does (and it pains me to realize that’s entirely possible).
Anyway, the worst feeling is the disappointment with her; we always enjoyed talking to each other, even when we met to give her the letter, I thought she had to courage to say she’s not there anymore, but I guess she didn’t.
No I get where you’re coming from. And just cause it’s been a week doesn’t mean that she won’t reply at some point, but right now she’s being pretty selfish. I don’t know her so I can’t say for sure but this is mean of her and she doesn’t seem to care.
You’re absolutely right, about pretty much her entire act. I didn’t see it coming, but it’s been 9 months so I’m not in any way a wreck, just disappointed, which sucks but is manageable.
Maybe she’ll respond, maybe she won’t, but I suspect she will. And when that happens, I hope she’ll be a little bit more mature than she is right now…that’s all I can hope for right now
So, I called my ex yesterday since the whole no-response shit started to really bother me.
We had a great conversation, and she told me how she has just started seeing someone new, and that she’d like to give it a chance. It was a great conversation because there was no anger, no resentment, just her understanding that she doesn’t think it could work between us right now, and that’s perfectly ok.
I told her I wish her well, that I hope he’s worthy of her and that he makes her happy, and I do, though some part of me wants it not to work, for her to realize what we had was good, but that’s being selfish. She told me she saw me at the university and dreamt about me that night, that she missed me but doesn’t see us working, so I hope that guy’s worth it.
We ended the conversation with me telling her not to contact me whatsoever unless it’s to try and give us a chance, and that I hope that by the time she does that, that door will still be open.
Obviously last night I cried a lot, because while I can finally let go, it feels like these last 8 months have kind of been for nothing. But I’m free now, ready to start something new, and as much as I wanted it to be with her, it’ll have to be with someone else, and that’s okay too.
I’m really sorry to hear that! But at least now you know. You know, I honestly truly believe that if something is meant to be, it will be, and that everything happens for a reason. I know it sounds corny, but I know relationships that have broken up, dated other people, and then realized years later that they were meant to be with the first person and they get back together. I myself have another ex who dumped me for his ex (lolz), they moved in together, seemed perfect, and then broke up and he came crawling back to me. If the two of you are meant to be together then it’ll work out – just believe in that. But, don’t sit around and wait for her. I know how much this sucks, but its time to let what happened go and move on with your life (easier said than done). If shes supposed to be your forever, she’ll be back.
Nothing to be sorry about, honestly, I AM happy for her, and while I do believe it was meant to be, it’s time to go look for something new.
I won’t lie, I think of her kissing him and worse and it wrenches my gut, brings tears to my eyes, the whole shebang, but if we can’t be together, it doesn’t mean she should be alone.
And yeah, who knows what tomorrow will bring? or the far future for that matter? Hell, maybe in a few dates she’ll realize he’s not for her, maybe not, but it’s time I let her go.
I knew when I wrote the letter that this was a possible outcome, and that’s what makes it okay; it’s not the end of the world, but for, it’s just so very sad
Well, this week was rough. I think after about 8 months of trying, 3 months of on/off NC, I’ve finally realized that this break up is for real, more so because she’s started seeing someone.
They knew each other before and she says that right now it’s “nice” and she wants to give it a chance. According to what she told me, they’ve been going out for like 2 weeks, he introduced her to his friends and such, so I kinda lost hope.
I don’t want to be back with her right now, but she wrote me something, the day we talked about missing me, about how she saw me at the university and wanted to send me a message to check if I saw her too. There are clearly still feelings involved, but she wants to give this guy a chance, some I’m gonna step aside.
I’m ready to move on, I am, but still, it saddens me quite a lot that she gave it up, kept me on a hook til some guy came around then let it all drop.
if you want her just do the same and give yourself a chance be in control and go and get her .. if there is still feeling why not to use this chance into your side.. however, if you decide to move on then be sure that you are about to meet a better person who meant to be in your life. .. Best of luck!
But it’s not possible, she’s seeing someone; she said that for the first time in 6 months, she’s ready to give something like this a chance, who am I to deny her that?
She had tons of opportunities to get back with me, hell, we even gave it a try 3 months back, and while she said and wrote she misses me, it’s obviously not that strong, or else she would’ve come back.
I really wanna talk to her, but there’s no point. If she’s happy with that guy, then he succeeded where I failed, and telling her to give us a chance will just make me seem needy and pathetic. It’s her choice, and I have to respect that; if she wants me back, it’s up to her to contact me. Not because of ego or whatever, but because she needs to realize (or not) that what we had was good enough to try again.
This is a venting post.
I wanna talk to her, I really do. On our last conversation, I asked her if she still loves me, she said she doesn’t know. I asked her if I should throw away our one year album (which she haven’t seen yet), she said she doesn’t know.
I wanna talk to her because I want to have that door closed already, she doesn’t want me and that’s fine, but at the same time tells me she misses me and us and wanted to text me…I can’t let it go if she can’t let it go, and it’s really bothering me.
From what I’ve learned over the last few weeks from my experience, reading other people’s stories and opinions; you’ve just got to focus on you. I’m sure you know that deep down too and it’s hard when the door isn’t fully shut.
I finally realised that last week and I won’t lie I ended up breaking down in tears because I realised that I can’t do anything. She has to make her mind up for herself and the same goes for your situation.
Time heals everything, just get through your struggles and hopefully you either get the outcome you want or maybe you meet someone better. Love seems to hit us when we least expect it.
It’s just that for the first time in 8 months since our breakup that she actually wants to give herself a chance with someone else, and I just keep thinking that if I’ll talk to her I could somehow show her that we’re worth another shot.
And I know it’s her decision to make, but I just miss her. Her specifically, as a person, not only as a girlfriend, and it’s killing me she’s started going out with someone else.
It’s stupid I know, because for all I know it might not work it whatever, but I’m thinking about it, about them, way too much…I just wanna talk and really close that door, because she can’t think that she can say that she’s starting seeing someone, then continue on saying she doesn’t know if she still loves me and that she still misses me and expect me to really move on…
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