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Just today I bought a sorta amulet for myself, the tree of life, which represents hope and growth. So heh yes I acknowledge the risks of holding hope, at the same time I can’t really help for it being my motivation to pursue my dreams.
My relationship cycle seems to follow a numeric pattern of “5-3”: first one lasted 5 years, second one 3, then 5 years again. Definitely cut for long commitment I guess.
I probably should start realizing I have been dating a girl who doesn’t even know what’s gonna be of her life, even though age never really mattered.Fuck friendship indeed lol, I’d never accept it from my ex now.
Really, I could never be friends with my ex after this. I have no clue how some people do it but to have those kind of feelings for someone and to know they don’t want to be with you is hard. Would it even be good to be “friends” with your ex?
My ex told me he hoped we could still be friends after the break up and never bothered to text me. No contact really shows the kind of person someone really is.
I am still friend with my first ex but that’s because it was me who ended the relationship, I think this plays a big role. Second, she showed me she’s changed for the better through the years and I gave her another chance to continue to be in my life.
Yeah I’ve pulled the “I just want to be friends card” on an ex. Actually gave him another, very brief, shot as well. He was bat shit crazy though. It definitely does play a huge role in who ends the relationship. I’m actually friends with people I’ve casually dated. I also ended all of those. :/ perspective I suppose.
? I hate it right now. That friend bs is makin me angry, but the epiphany that I gave my bat shit crazy ex another chance kinda makes me feel better.
I feel pretty confident in saying that those friendships either didn’t start in the wake of the breakup or were required because of mutual friends, kids, etc. My ex and I care so much for each other I could see us being friends…in like a year, if I’m dating someone else– probably the only way I could take it. Day 3 of no contact since I told him I still have feelings for him. This is not easy, but I know that as “friends” things would have blown up eventually, I don’t really have the emotional capacity to watch someone I love move on and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
My current ex represents all I’ve ever looked for in a woman, I cannot be only friend with her, not even in parallel universes. Also, there has always been too much physical attraction (sexual tension included) since when we have met on day one; we’ve started as friends but just for short time because of that. As you said Palmtrees22, I couldn’t bear to be her confident and watch how she’s living her life with me playing as a secondary role, I think my ex would agree with me and I won’t expect her to ask for friendship. It’s absolutely normal.
I’m working on letting go. Mostly of jealousy. Early on in our last break up he hooked up with a girl from his past and they went on a date and he said he felt nothing for her, but I spent the whole no contact period thinking he was with this person. When we resumed talking, I told him I wanted him to cut all ties with her… Well, he basically already had, which I didn’t realize. While I don’t think I was being outrageous in my request, I get why he wouldn’t want to say, “I can’t keep speaking to you” to someone he was already not speaking to; especially because we had JUST resumed contact and things were so uncertain. I’ve slowly wrapped my mind around the idea that what he does when we are apart doesn’t mean anything, he’s not that type of guy. If he’s trying things out with me, there’s no one else in the picture… Now I just have to wait and see if he’s willing to give it another go. Although I’m feeling pretty doubtful and trying to move on.
The first time I found out she had slept with this guy, even if our story was supposedly over, I was immensely hurt. It was her friend who made her confess to me, I knew my ex regretted what she did and I forgave her because I thought I had no right to demand loyalty when we weren’t together.
Second time, I could predict she was seeing this friend of hers from the way she acted after she dumped me. I didn’t care about the guy at all, never felt it was a threat.
This time, she has begun hanging out with her colleague before she left (but we were on “pause”)and it did made me mad, not because she’s someone else, but because two weeks before she proclaimed she’d never have other relationships right now. Obviously there was a twist.
I am not really jealous of these guys, they haven’t meant anything to her, this last guy, I don’t know, whatever happens I will be happy for her then.
I am not jealous because I feel confident about myself and what I can offer to a girl, the improvements I am making; it’s not arrogance. We are unique.Hey pAlmtree, sorry for the late response. What u did is pretty relatable to what I did with my ex. I totally understand why u pushed and why U were feeling how u were to have the need to push. It does sound like u got an honest answer from your ex. But did it help u at all after? So how do u feel about everything now? Do u think no contact this time is more for the two of u to rekindle or just u?
I think had I continued down the “friendship” road feeling the way I was feeling that eventually I would have started to resent him; either because he may start dating someone or simply because I had hopes that things would progress and had they not I might have gotten upset.
NC probably has a few purposes… 1. I can heal a bit and not secretly hold out hope when I have no indication from him that I should be 2. To allow him to reevaluate (again) and miss me a bit (this is almost a guarantee when it comes to my ex–which is a good and a bad thing) 3. To show him that I also have the ability to walk away when things aren’t going the direction that I want but probably the most important thing is that I’m not sure that he can actually give me what I want and inaction seems better than action if that’s the case.
I’m part hopeful, part wanting to move on, part completely discouraged.
Then I could never say u did anything wrong. It seems u got to a point where u needed to get some clarity. That was where I was at too …. Didn’t get it …. But it helped me move forward. Until she came to me about her daughter anyways :(. And I would say it has somewhat eased the mind and helped u. And your bottom comments are exactly how I feel now too!
A funny thing happened with me on my Facebook recently. My ex’s aunt, whom I have never met sent me a friend request on Sunday. She soon after cancelled that request. I didn’t think much of it as more then she was probably just snooping(no such luck as my profile is locked down) and accidentally hit the friend button. Well fast forward 3 days and she sent me another request to be friends and hasn’t cancelled it 4 days later. I’m more amused by it then anything. But it does beg the question ….. Do I accept? Because now it has me wondering why a person in my ex life, who I haven’t met is trying to friend me so many months after our break up. It’s odd for a grown adult, to do this in my opinion. Hahaha
And I ordered the flowers for next week for my ex. Almost wished I did it Today. As it was back to school day here and I can only imagine how that hit effected her.
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