17 days NC

45 days is my deadline too, 30 days no contact + 15 days after I send the letter, after that I think I am pretty much done, been investing all I have in this for 5 years almost.
My therapy is helping me too, the aim is getting better for my own sake and not for my ex now because I don’t know if she will ever come around again.
Your ex’s anger will not go away easily, you need to be patient if you really wanna fix things.
Where are you from Mister Handy?

hey @Fishthesky.

I’m from Brazil!

You had already made nc before? I think your decision 30 + 15 Is very good!

but if she does not answer in these 15 days may not be too early to give up?

to be honest, I am in doubt if after I send the letter and if she does not respond. I don’t know if I’ll try again too!

that’s what I’m looking for here! more hope!

Hey Fishthesky,

The end of my dating was June too! One day after our one year anniversary! I think she was already thinking about it since the beginning of the year! when we fight and stayed one week apart!

It is a very difficult situation that we are all going! I know everyone here are very strong! more than we could imagine!

I hope we can get our ex back

🙂

I feel exactly like that @palmtrees.. When my ex and I were together the first few days of the week he was really loving, sweet, affectionate and then pulled away. I am hoping that if I do decide to contact after NC I’ll get back to my old way of thinking.

I was single for 7 years before I met him. He has been my only meaningful relationship during that time. I am a huge cynic, bitter, and was perfectly ready to accept that I’d probably end up being single for the rest of my life and didn’t mind that. I’ve always had an “it is what it is” approach. So I’m hoping that’s the mindset I can get back to. It seems like I’m heading there. Every day gets easier. I have small hope but try not to get too invested in hope.

When you hope, you set yourself up for disappointment. You create unrealistic expectations or scenarios in your head. You play things out over and over trying to anticipate how it will go instead of just living in the moment and being happy in that moment.

He’s 37. I’m 26. Ex and I we’re together for 5 months. Insane crazy connection I’ve never had before. His friend ended up screwing him over on a lease and his rent would have ended up being $500/mo more him paying $1800 and I offered for him to stay with me at $300/mo. Big financial difference. The day after he moved in he turned into a different person. Started hating me because he hated my place. Later revealed he “only moved in to help me out” I didn’t need his help. He started spending a lot of money on alcohol and eating out despite my offers to cook and he kind of blamed me for his bad budgeting. After 8 days (and our first fight in our relationship.) He put in for a transfer to a different city at his job and has since moved it. We went from working on things to him saying he didn’t feel like we were right for each other.

I haven’t had a serious relationship for 7 years. He’s the only person in that time I ever saw a future with. We were talking children and marriage. It crushed me, but I accepted it and immediately started NC after a mutual break up. I honestly thought the issues were remedial and easily worked on but he just refused to even try after a certain point and was “unsure if it would work.”

My thing was, I was sure I was absolutely in love with him, I deserve better than someone who doubted his feelings for me so I let it go. He wasn’t happy with NC, kept trying to get a reaction out of me but I didn’t respond. I’m on day 9 I think.

@palmtrees I’m not sure what to think. I honestly believe he may have gotten overwhelmed or stressed out and started attributing environmental stressors to me and associating them with our relationship. Stressed about his job, money, didn’t like my apartment, it ended up being a longer drive to his work, etc. And maybe he thought we moved too fast. I know I was good to him beyond a shadow of a doubt. I’ve never been in love like that in my life.

But, I kinda feel like he just bailed on me, so while I have this small part of me that thay wants to reconcile I don’t think I’d be able to trust him again if we got back together. I’d always wonder when he’d just run away again.

And I realize that would be a huge factor of failure if things were to ever rekindle, I’d have to be willing to forget about everything that’s happened. But that’s a big assumption on my part that he realizes that he screwed up. It almost felt like he started to when he tried to evoke a response out of me but he kept maintaining this “why can’t we be friends” mentality. Eh *shrug*

Exactly that, like keeping me on lay away in case you change your mind. Fuck your friendship lol