xxpepperwood

Hi Dot!

Cute name 🙂 If I’m reading this correctly, your ex now current boyfriend started going with another girl while you were not together? I’m happy to hear you’re back together, but it sounds like taking it slow is definitely the right way to go. I remember the last time I suggested to someone that we ought to ‘take it slow’ he was agreed but was like ‘what does that even mean’. And that’s so true! Sounds like such a great idea, and if people can actually “take things slow” (whatever that means) things really can work out.
The key is to ACTUALLY DEFINE what taking it slow really means! Why not try and really have objective goals to agree on? If you both want to create something with real potential, there’s no harm in having a discussion about the behaviors and actual time it should take to ‘take things slow’. So for example, lets play the middle school game for 3 weeks- and define what that means, i.e hand holding and cuddling. Then discuss how quickly you can progress with more behaviors and what those behaviors are. Be objective.
The longer you wait the better! Because I think the main purpose of taking things slow is this- it allows you to extrapolate between friendship and that fiery passion at the beginning. Because all to often, the allure of that unbridled jubilation fades out to something more stable but less intense, and entering into that next phase is where people tend to jump ship. One of the best things you can do to help get past this transition is to have a secure foundation of friendship. The makings of friendship and trust is what sustains when that initial excitement inevitably fades. And additionally, in your case I think taking time as just friends will also allow you to regain some of the trust that was lost when he got with another girl.

When it comes to relationships, there’s all the time in the world, I think that waiting to take the big steps when you’re with someone is one of the best tools you can use for longevity. Just be objective with those goals!

Best of luck,
Becks.