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Hi everyone,
what is everyone’s updates?
Shows how much you we all relied on this network when we were struggling, shows it really pays to have people around who are unbiased and listen. I think its really lovely.My situation hast really changed, I sent him a message which he just ignored, and a week later I sent him a snap chat which he opened and also just ignored. Obviously I was/am shocked and hurt because I didn’t think the person that you had loved the most would be the person it is most awkward to talk to.
But I have come to the conclusion he is obviously not ready to face his own feelings yet.One of my friends is having a 21st birthday, which I’m pretty sure he will go to as well, so I am going to text him before to give us a chance to meet up and clear the air. Because I don’t want the first time for us to see each other in 3 months being at my friends 21st, i would just like to enjoy myself there, and it also isn’t the time to break into any awkward conversations.
He also has the memory card with all our pictures from our holiday (I have not seen any pictures since we went away, as I did not have a phone or camera to take photos on at the time) so I feel this meet up would be a good chance to exchange the memory card?What do you guys think? My aim of this meet up defiantly isn’t to get back with him, it is just to make sure that we can be civil with each other, and show each other respect (as he has not done so far).
Thanks everyone 🙂 xxx
It is just so strange isn’t it. It’s so rude of them, it doesn’t kill anyone to have manners. He is going to have to talk to me eventually because I have so much of his stuff and vise versa.
Would have been nice if we could have actually chatted and not just asked for stuff back.
(Plus that makes it seem so final)
I just really need to make sure that I keep my cool and don’t send an angry text :/ xxNope no reply. He hasn’t been on whatsapp, and I think I might have jumped to the conclusion that he had seen it because it was on Facebook so I assumed it was on his phone . But it might have been on his laptop. He will be asleep now.
If he chooses not to reply it will really annoy me. It’s been 2 months practically, and I don’t get why people can’t just be civil if anything!Well that’s a good sign! Had he got any new updates on fb insta.. Etc? Xx
Yeah I think so.
He Defo would have if he was the person I knew, but he has also proven himself not to be that person anymore so who knows. I send it about 45 mins ago, and he has seen it but hasn’t replied 🙁 I’m super nervousYeah exactly! Got to keep expectations level.
I am going to send a first contact text message tonight! I’m super nervous, but also really excited just to hear from him. (Which I hope I do!) fingers crossed! Xx
WOOOOOOO!!!!
Yes catherine!!!You know what that means? She was a complete rebound! And it failed!
YAY!!!
This means that he might have been comparing you to her the whole time and you lasted so much longer with him!
Beware though if he does come back to you (which is likely!) make him work harrrdddd for it!
Super happy for you girl!Yeah I’m sure you will! How could you not! Haha.
Today is a hard day for me. A year ago I had to go through a sexual assault situation, which was the start of my year going very down hill. He was there to support me through it all. Although it caused me to be depressed and paranoid etc.although he was amazing, a lot of the time it was “yeah well it affects me as well Sorcha…” And sometimes got quite selfish about it.
I doubt i will hear from him which just makes me so angry, and upset. Almost like it won’t affect him any more, he’s left that behind. And he probably won’t care how I’m feeling.
I just want the caring person back. And if I can’t is like an explanation as to why he isn’t that person anymore.Sorry this is probably to much information for this forum but I don’t know where else to vent 🙁
Hey guys,
I think it’s a great idea to get something new done like the piercing or tattoo. I have got my tongue pierced since the break up. I had it when me and my ex first got together. But a year in I took it out. He didn’t like it and I just thought yeah it’s not really me anymore (probably another sign of me loosing myself in the relationship) so I got it done again. Just to symbolise individuality and strength.Pingpong, I am sorry to hear about your ex, that is a horrible situation to come across. You guys were together for such a long time, that pretty much everything will remind her of you. So fingers crossed that she won’t be able to stop thinking like : ( well “pingpong” laughed at that or “pingpong” did this).
If your aim is to still get her back, make sure you heel a first and then you have to try and just stay present in her life I think).I still haven’t heard anything after 7 weeks NC. It’s kind of heart breaking he doesn’t want to know how I am. And he can just want me out of his life. I have no idea what goes through people brains 🙁 wish I knew
Hey guy!
Catherine, my mom did that as well. Put some of his clothes in the other room. I found them and bought them back. ?
They are now tucked away somewhere but you have to do it on your own timing. For me it took a month for the ring to come off, 6 weeks for the pictures to come down. And clothes are still in the draw. But to be honest I think they are fine there. I don’t see them everyday. And when I do it’s a bit like “oh yeah” so I’m glad everything is out of my eyeline now. Although it makes it seem a bit more real, you just got to go with the impulse of putting it away.
And fishing, I’m really sorry she didn’t reply. She still might, you never know! What are you going to do from here give it more time and…?
Hey Catherine, Yeah of course there is that hope! Especially when it’s so sudden and your life changes completely! Such a strange concept isn’t it!
But I guess we are learning to be come individuals again, I don’t think I will make that mistake of combining myself fully with another person again. If I’ve learnt anything from this I have to keep myself as an individual! Got to be strong and sassy from now on! Haha.
Fishing,
That good that you don’t mind her reaction just you want her to know. Maybe you should mention that part about when the anger has subsided? I thought that was really good and a calming thing to say!
I can totally understand you on the family side of things as well. As I mentioned before my ex had a lot of family issues and because I was the closest one to him. Indirectly it kind of became my fault and the frustration was taken out on me rather than his dad.
But I’m thinking that once we have disappeared from their life for a while, and things still aren’t better they will be able to realise that the cause isn’t us and they need to sort the problems out within themselves. God knows how long that will take!Hey Catherine, it is so harsh sometimes isn’t it! And to be honest I think I would be getting over it a lot quicker if I thought there was a genuine reason. And I could have seen it coming.
Are you going to contact your ex at some point, maybe even just to get some answers? Or are you still wanting to get back with him…?
No I don’t think that was it at all because on holiday he was still talking about the future and things we were going to do when we got home etc. I think he is just immature and has some growing up to do. He’s lost a good thing 🙁
And I think that is true what palmtree said, it depends whether you are going to be affected by her reaction. If you feel like you have to let her know and it is something you can’t keep bottled up anymore, then fair enough do it! But if it is something you could cope with her not knowing, then it might be worth not opening that can of worms?
Are you still kind of hoping that it will work between you both?That is very true I don’t want to be expecting it to be fine when it might not be!
I don’t even know if he had been thinking it a long time. I wouldn’t make sense to me for him to be so amazing on holiday and not want to let go of me and being affectionate and generally amazing.
I think he is having a lot of trouble with his family like I mentioned and I am the cat that got kicked!How are you doing with the whole letting go thing fishing? X
yeah i could read everything 🙁 it was heart breaking! he just messaged everyone he had ever had a thing with.
Ive got rid of most of it now, my promise ring is off (ironic, didnt keep that promise did he! haha) and photos are down, and ive given the ipad to my mum so i cant see anything. One step at a time kind of thing.
I would give it all back to him, but that makes it seem so final.Well we aren’t in long distance anymore. So i was at Uni before (with him on the first year) and then he graduated and moved to where I live in London (Massive coincidence because he is from the north of England) However I am on a placement year from uni now, so living at home in London for the next year, and he lives maybe 20 mins away. We were both so excited for this year, everything was going to be so much easier now we were back together in the same place 🙁
And thank you! that means a lot, it is hard to extend it to 45 days because I would love to talk to him, but i think i am scared of the reality of it, because throughout the whole time i’ve known him, ive never spoken to him and we aren’t together or getting together etc. So im in a bit of a denial. Also it is probably me being a bit stubborn because I feel like he should make the move first.
whats your opinion on 45 days NC do you think that or the 3 months? i just dont want to screw up my chances!Its strange how you can create a life with someone, have so many plans, and next day they are willing to cut you out completely and never talk to you again 🙁
And yes I get what you mean its hard to say enough is enough in your situation, but it really does screw with your head when people send you mixed messages. Whats your plan from here? x
