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Thanks for the reply @Zohar
I don’t think I did anything to show that I still had feelings for her. I didn’t beg, I didn’t plead and I didn’t even text her for the first 2 weeks after the break up. I even took a whole week to answer a text she sent me.
To be perfectly honest I’m literally on the verge of moving on completely myself. The fact that she didn’t bother sending me a text just tells me she doesn’t care any more, which is quite sad really. It hurts me, it really does. I don’t know what’s going through her head at the moment, but like I said I’m on the cusp of just thinking “whatever”. I’m going on a date with another girl soon anyway…
@Gingerone … well like I’ve said in many posts on this board, I would sit back and not contact the ex at all.
If she contacted me I’d assume she wants to meet up.
@Gingerone … I personally think you’re going around this totally the wrong way, but I wish you luck nonetheless.
“Thanks for the feedback. I’ll take your advice, but after the 30 days how should I get in contact with her? Over text, or should I send flowers & a letter?
She loves flowers but I don’t know if I’m going to get her back but I feel like I can. It’s just so 50/50”
And I just read this … are you serious? COME ON MAN!
You were never with her, how can you say you’re “going to get her back”.
Don’t contact her and DEFINITELY don’t send her flowers, you’ll be on your way to get a restraining order.
Someone who understands women would never get in an argument with them.
You chose to pursue a girl who ha a boyfriend and now you’re wondering why you’re in such a bad situation? lol
As far as I can see you two were never in a relationship, so why are you using the 30 day rule?
If I was you I’d back off completely like she wants you to. She doesn’t want anything to do with you, hence why she blocked you. You’re literally a homewrecker and nothing more.
I don’t think she loves you back, because if she did she would make it easy for you to get with her …
Move on.
Let her sort out her issues by herself. You don’t owe her anything.
If she blocked you everywhere assume she doesn’t want hear from you.
You’re not “playing hard to get” lol, you’re acting like a friend to her – a non-interested friend actually.
She literally asked you to come and see her (because she’s interested in you and put herself in your orbit), but you were unable to realise it (because of your lack of knowledge with women) and blew her off completely.
Now, like I said, she probably thinks you just want to be friends and aren’t interested any more.
You’ve got a lot to learn:
First, the guy she was dating, who you call a “loser boyfriend and clearly a rebound” wasn’t a rebound at all. He was a guy your ex met when things were going shitty in your relationship. As soon as all the feelings she had for you disappeared, she got with the other guy. Girls do this almost all the time.
Secondly, soon after realising her new boyfriend was a wuss and knew nothing about women either, she decided to fall back onto the one thing she liked (i.e you). She reached out to you and put herself in your orbit.
Instead of answering to her “Well let me know, I am not doing anything. So you are welcome to come here and say Hi if you want :)” text with something like “How about you bring your gorgeous face over here with a bottle of wine and we can make dinner together ;)” you BLEW HER OFF.
Bottom line is you’re not congruent and you definitely aren’t centred. What I mean by that is you want her back, but you don’t show it or are too afraid to show it because of possible rejection.
If he says he thinks he has made a mistake you just tell him “Well come here if you think you’ve made a mistake”. That’s how I’d do it, straight to the point.
If he’s genuine he’ll come, if not you won’t hear from him or he’ll make stupid excuses.
I read this “Well let me know, I am not doing anything. So you are welcome to come here and say Hi if you want :)” and I literally face-planted.
COME ON MAN!
You think that was an “ego boost”, are you serious?! You blew her off completely.
WHEN A GIRL LIKES YOU SHE’LL PUT HERSELF IN YOUR ORBIT TO MAKE IT EASIER. She literally put herself on your doorstep, but you blew her off!
Now she’s probably thinking “OMG maybe he doesn’t like me after all” and has gone to her GF’s who have said the same thing.
I really don’t know what you’re doing on this forum: are you looking to move on? are you looking to reconcile? are you here for an ego-stroke?
Please tell me, rather then respond with “You havent read the topic havent you?? :)” which, unfortunately for you, is coming across as a rather snide remark…
@Gingerone … I don’t know if you’re completely clueless or if this whole wesbite/blog/forum has messed you up. It’s staring you right in the face: SHE MISSES YOU.
She’s jealous that you’re going to Thailand, worried you’ll get with girls over there and that you’re moving on.
If it was me I would have responded to her “Be careful girls will be throwing themselves at you” with “How about you throw yourself at me too then? We should meet up some time and have dinner together, when are you free?”. It’s a cocky, funny response that’ll get a straight answer from her, either she says no to which you tell her “hey that’s OK, get in contact with me if you change your mind” or she says “yes” and you can ask her to bring a bottle of wine to yours and make dinner.
Girls who like you will put themselves in your orbit …
@CreeD … So I’m gathering you want her back then?
The reason it seems like it’s going no where is because you’re the one chasing her. Girls hate that, trust me.
I’m also gathering she dumped you, no? This is another reason why you shouldn’t be chasing her at all.
The only real thing you can do in a situation where a girl, not necessarily an ex, blows you off or rejects you (i.e breaks up with you) is to back off and never look back. She’s pretty much dead to you.
A girl who likes a guy or is interested in him will literally put herself in your orbit. She’ll make small moves like contacting you first, to put herself there and expect you to ask her out.
Because you’re going out of your way to contact her, she doesn’t need to do a thing and knows she’s got you on a leech.
My thoughts on what you’ve written:
Your conversations aren’t going anywhere. It’s just a friendly to-and-fro.
Text messages aren’t there for conversations, they’re there to set up and confirm dates or meetings.
In my opinion you should be dropping off her radar completely, letting her know you’re not there and if she doesn’t contact you you’re gone forever. If she doesn’t like it and starts to think “maybe I made a mistake” she’ll come back I can guarantee that.
Keep us posted.
@Paulsmith … There are some good tips in Relationship Rewind, I’ll admit that, but the “False Friendship” definitely isn’t one of them.
Even if it’s “false” it’s still putting you in a very compromising position which could blow up at any moment. Plus it goes totally against what YOU want.
When a girl/woman breaks up with you asking to be friends, you say NO – that’s the bottom line, the most basic thing.
You need to stay congruent, you need to make sure that any time a girl says “can we please be friends?” you stay true to your word.
That’s why this “false friendship” thing will get you no where.
To me it seems like he’s someone who doesn’t like being on their own. He wants the cake and want to eat it too. Ultimately he’s being very selfish.
I like to think that one’s true personality comes out following a break up: your ex is manipulative and lonely.
I think what you should do next time he contacts you is flat out tell him that you don’t like the fact that he’s texting you and calling you non-stop, that it’s giving you a false sense of hope … that if what he’s doing means nothing and he doesn’t want you back, then ask him to stop it all and move on.
I think he needs a reality check.
As much as people would like you to think, men and women are very, very different.
Women on one hand are emotionally driven, whereas men tend to be rather straightforward and “logical”. This, of course, is when it comes to love and romantic relationships.
That being said, it’s hard to know how your ex boyfriend feels about you and your break up. I’ve never broken up with a girlfriend, I’ve always been on the receiving end.
What I’d suggest though is that you take it the same was as I do. Let them know you can’t be friends, that they should only contact you if they’ve changed their mind and then go No Contact indefinitively. If they put themselves in your orbit (i.e contact you), you assume they want to see you and ask them out.
I don’t know how long you’ve been broken up, who broke up with whom and if there’s been any contact since?
