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He seems very confused at the moment. He obviously still cares for you, but is not sure of his own emotions. You say you are scared to try no contact, but at this point it is the only thing that can truly improve your situation. You also made a very bad mistake,though not a irreparable mistake, by sleeping with him. It seems right now you are making yourself way too available to him, and he is somewhat taking advantage of that. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to hurt you, but he might be hurting you because he does not know his own emotions. Give him time to sort out his emotions and truly miss you, aka go no contact for ATLEAST 2-3 weeks, and don’t respond to him while he is reaching out UNLESS perhaps he is explicitly asking for a relationship. Anything else should be ignored until you complete no contact. This will give you time to heal and him time to figure out his emotions and thoughts.
@ jackzzv121
Well now we have been speaking for nearly 2 weeks, and progress has been relatively good, considering at one point I was blocked on all forms of communication for weeks. I followed your advice and made the conversation light hearted and nothing too serious or deep. I made a joke about him reaching out because of his rebound going awry, but he showed me him telling the new rebound that their relationship would never be serious and he apparently told her he is “not yet ready to deal with someone” after coming out of a long term relationship. We speak daily, and he even calls throughout the day, but he also made a recent proposal to be friends with benefits. He believes we were more sexually compatible than anything, while agreeing the relationship wasn’t “terrible” but it wasn’t ideal as well. I don’t know how to push him towards being more relationship minded rather than sexual. He will occasionally make remarks of reminiscing the relationship and claims how we would still be together if I didn’t do this or that, but either way it does not seem as if he desires a romantic relationship with me. His mother and step father also reached out to me on my birthday, so that is somewhat good news I suppose.
I went no contact for a month. I agree however, there are good memories but there are a lot of bad ones, but I feel I rushed no contact because I feared the rebound could take him away for good. He has admitted that this is a rebound, however, I let fear make me reach out to him and try to solve things way too early.
When he discussed communicating on his own “terms”, he expressed how he wanted to call and contact me whenever, but I could not do the same. Essentially, all communication was on his time, not mine. Shortly after, I stopped responding and then that is when he blocked me on everything. Then, shortly after that is when his cousin reached out to me.
