sadman29

So a little update!
She told me that she has been thinking of us for about 2 years now , but it dont change anything now and i think it never will !
So for the past week i have i dont contact her and i want her to see what her life is without me in it !
She is always afraid that i Will disapare and never contact her again !
And thats the way i am going now ! Beacuse i only have to contact her if there is something with our kids ! So i decide that im letting her go now !
She still wants to be with a guy that abuse her and its bad, abd that tells me that she is not ready for a serious and strong realationship ! And thats why she is not the right girl for me ! So im tired that she tells Lies and never stand up for herself, so now she is on her own ! Im not going to be there for her or help her with anything !

So i think she is going to react in a bad why on this, beacuse she thinks that she controlls me, but she dont !
So thats a hard decision, but i know that its rhe right one ! I cant let her play with me anymore or have me around her finger! So last time i talk with her i said :
Good to she that everything is fine and you have a good life again, mabye we talk again, mabye not, time will see ! To then ! Goodbye !

I told her yesterday that i wont hear anything about that anymore, beacuse she still live with him and are happy, thats why he dont move out ! So she know now that i wont help with anything and dont want to hear anything more !

She become quiet and did cry in the phone when i told her that ! So mabye she now understand that i dont accept this behavor and now she knows that she lost me for the last time ! And that she are on her one from now on !

It hurts to do this, but she needs to know that im not a person you can use when you wants and need it !
I think i always will feel something for her, beacuse after 1.5 years i still love her, its sad but i did meet my true love in her ! And i hope one day she can be the good person i know she is and that she can get a good life ! Without me it looks like, but i have tried and failed.

No, she did not talk about that at all.

She had a friend of her taking the picture the next day.
Yes she must do that ! And she is just so stupid, one day this, and next day she tells me that they have fun togheter ! Almost so i say, then you deserve it ! Beacuse she only use words and dont hold them !
I Just get a call and she told me they where out driving ! Its so fucked up ! Now im starting to get really angry and soon dont let my kids to her place !

The children are with grandparents for a small holiday, so they are safe !

Yeah ! It seems like she using everyone around her to get sympati and all, but she keeps accepting it, so now she can blame herself !

Im just so fucking angry now ! I just want to let everything out and on her ! So she know that not to call me again ! I dont feel sry for her anymore ! If she say its over and they are not togheter then she dont go for a drive with him !!

Im hurt,broken and feel like shit right now !!

So im going to try do to everything you say, but its not goint to be easy, beacuse? I will tell you

Yesterday she did ask if i could get her from a party and drive her home, i sat alone and watch tv, and didnt had much to do, so i sad yes, when i get to the place she was, she did come out and told me to come inside, and i ask, why do you want me to come inside ? Her answere was: beacuse i want you to come and meet her new friends and get to know them to, and i did talk with everyone and that was nice to meet new People.

My ex sat vert close to talk with me, always look me in the eyes, and when she wantet to show me something on her phone, she put her head close to me !
Everyone there told med that i was a really nice guy and they wounder why she did throw me away ! So i did talk with my ex for 3 hours about our kids, and yes, everything ! And i did talk with everyone Else to !
But this is the first time i was with her on something for about 2.5 years.

Why did she want me to come inside ? Was it beacuse the alcohol? Isnt when ypu drink alcohol the truth get out ? And why should i meet her new friends ?

I take it a little positiv and we did have a good time, and we did agree when we should drive from the party, i drove her home, and i went home alone !

Any thougts about that ?

Sry for late answere, its so much with new job and everything.

She want to move to a place about 2.5 hour away from the plate we both live in now, just beacuse thats the place she feels home, but she know that im not interested to move anywhere !
Why she dont like it hete, i think its beacuse of all the trouble with her boyfriend/ex, im not sure, but i think mabye its beacuse some problems she have, mabye.

I took your edvice with no contact, only about the kids, but she has been calling me everyday, and she talk so negative about her boyfriend about everything ! I dont hear anything good!
Yesterday she had to ask me to go and get a new baby seat, beacuse our son was sleeping and her boyfriend didnt want to help her !

And today she did borrow my car, so that she can bring our son to his grandparents, so that he can get holiday, when she did came back with the car, she suprised me with a hug, and thats are something that not have happend for months!

We never had so nice tone like now for about half year, but im afraid that she only sre like this beacuse she wants to move !

Im not going to ask her about anything about us, i think I just let it go, and see what happens, i cant do anything more, but i have to watch out, so that she dont use me just for fun !

But i dont think she just look at me as a friend, when she wants to talk so much and so Long everytime !
Mabye i need a smack in the head or its my feelings for her that makes me this nice against her.

So today i ask for an answere from my ex about to try again, beacuse she ask me if i could think about moving to her hometown in a few years, beacuse she wants that and cant move anywhere beacuse the kids and my decision. So my question for her was :

But do you want to give an honest feedback on what I asked you about then? Not now, but soon
Because it meant something when you ran out of words, and you notice something when you see a person

And her answere was:

Yeah maybe I’ll do it someday. But there is no pressure or anything. For that should not lie in the decision. I can’t bear to think that way now. Have enough with everything from before.

So i really dont know how i shall take that answere?
Beacuse for ne it seems like she just answere something right away, and thats it.

Now, she just sendt me a text today and ask if i was angry, beacuse i have been so quite these days.

I did ask if she had a boyfriend and she tell me no, but they somethimes sleeps togheter and he is around her in the house, but not togheter.

And she did call me today to talk about our son and after a few min she was talking about herself and what i had for plans today, then i told her what she means to me and how Much i care for her, she told me that she lost her words and didnt know what to say ! She didnt say Much back and i honestly believe that she dont expected that ! And i told her that o really want to try again and i think that now is the right time !

Now i cant do anything more, so if this isnt enough, then i have lost her ! And i have to try to move on ! But its hard, and i really hope that this means something to her.