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Hi,
We were in a relationship for 3 years. But in between we did break up and reconciled after few days. This has been the longest that we have not been together, but we’ve been seeing each other as a couple. Also he isn’t dating anyone or seeing anyone at this point.
Yes I get what you mean about him using me. But the past few days he has been trying to make an effort, and when he heard some friends talking crap about me, he started being defensive, and he told me that he wants to see how far this goes before we both get back together again which I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, but he said if things work out again, then it does or else it’s not. (Should I follow this and go with the flow?)
Also when I mentioned that I didn’t put in effort as in I stopped planning dates, I always wanted my own space and time, I felt suffocated and bored around him, and we stopped having sex for 2 months at least, and we also started doing our own things aka he was working late, and I started going to the gym often & hanging out with friends.
Things changed when one of his friends told me that he started talking to this girl right after we broke up, which i suspected that it made him feel like we both weren’t working out and that there’s someone better out there that would treat him right. But after a month when he came back he told me that there were many times he wanted to come back and reconcile but he was afraid he would get hurt again. Yes I was being emotionally unfaithful I can say, and that led me to confusion as well, hence I was doubting my relationship & distancing myself
:/ hope this clarifies more.
Hi,
By taking him for granted I meant, he really did show me love and care and was always there for me but I did not show appreciation and I did not try my best to put in the same amount effort as him, it was more of a one sided effort because I was confused at that time. Also, I lied to him a few times because I was friends with my previous ex, and he could not trust me ever again. I stopped talking to TM ex after but there were constant arguments and fight where he would bring up what I did because he said he can never ever forget. But there were also many good times. In terms of emotional attachment, we both were always there to support each other but I gotta admit it was my fault that he got sick of the relationship and just fell out of love, which made me realise that I actually made a mistakeC and I really love him and want to try my best to win him back.
Now that we are in talking terms, we normally meet about 3-4 times a week and it seems to be going great and he still treats me like his girlfriend, and cares for me. But he just doesn’t want to commit because he claims he felt like he lost himself in the relationship, hence why he said he is finding himself, and he worries that maybe then when he figures out, I might not be the one for him and does not want to break my heart again if that happens.
But he also is giving me mixed signals, like jealousy if I hangout with other guys etc. I’m not sure if it’s good to still be around him, but I’ve stopped having sex with him like what you mentioned. He can sometimes be hot and cold and I’m confused.
Hi,
We are both 27. Lately he has been calling me every night, and has been wanting to see me and also texts me everyday even when I try not to initiate contact. I’m pretty confused and I’ve stopped having sex with him too. But there are times where we still meet up for lunch etc. Should I still continue this? Or just end things by telling him I can’t be put in this situation?
He seems to really care about me and treats me like his girlfriend & isn’t dating anyone. But still talks about plans like going for a concert together in april. But doesn’t mention anything about us getting back together. Also he says that he is trying not to let his heart be taken for granted again.
In my idea, I think that he is scared to start things too early because he did say getting back together now would be too soon cause we both probably haven’t figured out what we want yet. But we’re emotionally & physically attracted to each other, that’s for sure.
I wouldn’t blame him 100% for leaving because there were many times that I took him for granted, and I really regret doing so and I want to win him back but I’m not sure if this is the right way. I did the NC for 30 days and then is when we started talking again, and it’s been a month.
Hmm. Help?
