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Unfortunately this isn’t working out as planned. She rescheduled on me twice in one week, both on days she originally suggested would work. Then she said she would let me know if she was around this weekend, I found out she was from an IG post but she never notified me. I asked her one last time if she would like to get together and again she gave me the response “I don’t want to give you the wrong idea” like she did before the park date last time. I feel like at this point I need to just let it go…Thoughts?
She finally reached back out to me today…only to wish me a happy birthday but still nice. I asked if she’d like to get together again, that it was nice to see her the last time in the park and she agreed to sometime next week.
I feel like if I don’t at least try to make a move or say something then it won’t be anything more then a friendly hangout like last time. I’m not sure that’s the case but I just get the sense.
What’s the right way to play it when I see her?
Thanks for the feedback @patricia12 and @Matt11.
I sent her a couple memes and a snap since then, she replied but she’s still not actively sending anything my way. I’m busy with work this weekend so I am gonna wait until next weekend to ask if she’d like to hang out again. I have a feeling she still doesn’t want to get back together as she has not made an effort to reach out to me.
So we met in the park and chatted for about 2.5 hours, catching up on everything that’s happened since we last spoke. I didn’t bring up anything about our relationship. At one point it started to rain and I cuddled up to her and covered her with my jacket, she even invited me back to her house if the rain didn’t let up but it did after about 5 minutes. We would’ve probably spent more time together and gotten a bite to eat for dinner, but she had to take care of some stuff.
At the end we shared a big warm hug, said it was nice to see each other and went our separate ways. I asked if she’d like to do this again sometime, to which she replied “yes although it will be getting cold soon”, so we would probably have to hang out inside at her place and I’m not sure how that would work. Anyways, I thought overall it went very well!
I’m not sure how to proceed from here. I feel like she either just wants to be friends now, or is unsure about what to do. What’s the best way to play this from here on out? Should I slowly start to re-initiate contact with her over social media/text? Or should I just go no-contact for a couple weeks and then ask if she’d like to meet up again?
So I’ve maintained no contact with her for a full 5 weeks, then I wished her a happy birthday. We exchanged a couple messages and I asked if she’d like to get together to meet for a drink/go for a walk. She said she would be “fine with it, and it’d be nice to see me again…but doesn’t want to give me the wrong idea”. I said sure, I’d just like to see her too and catch up.
Tomorrow we are meeting. What is the best way to play this? Do I just act like a friend, treat it like I would a first date with someone new? Do I try to address the relationship? Do I tell her I’d like to fuck with no strings attached?
Not sure what the play is here, leaning towards just acting like a friend and treating it like a first date. Maybe she will be interested in hanging out again if it goes well.
Ok well thanks for the opinions. I am going to try no contact for a few weeks and see what happens, but given the way she spoke on the phone it seems like it unfortunately is really over and she has made up her mind. It’s hard to think one person can see things in such a completely different perspective then the other. She really gave me no signs she was continuing to think about breaking up.
I really don’t think the reason she broke up had anything to do with too much contact though, because as I had mentioned she had told me I was good at giving her space in recent months. And during the quarantine when she had no friends/family around and only had me, she would ask me to usually stay over even more then 4 nights a week and I was the one trying to give us some space.
Somewhere around the time of quarantine ending and her going back to her more normal life (of seeing friends/family), she took a big step back and soon after is when the “call” happened so I am not sure what it was that caused things to change but it happened around then.
I think you got the totally wrong picture here, maybe it’s my fault and I didn’t explain things too well in my first post.
I did only ask to meet her parents once. She invited me on her own a few weeks later when she was ready.
Also going on 2 dates/overnights a week and staying in touch everyday I would say is normal for a 6 month old relationship for two adults. So is confessing love after 6 months. Anything less then that is not a real relationship and is going nowhere, I know this because I was stuck in a situation like that with a girl for 2 years that dragged on way too long. She spent many weekends/weekdays on her own with friends after quarantine ended and I never complained about it, so I was definitely not smothering her…she even told me in the breakup I was good about giving her space.
I agree at this point no contact may be the best option. However, am I really annoying her is she is returning my snaps and playing me back in the word games?
Update to this:
I called her we talked things out calmly, she expressed she still feels that she wants to separate and made the right decision. We still occasionally are snapping/gaming with each other on our phones.
Wondering what the best strategy to win her back in the long term is at this point, if it’s even possible?
