Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
@patricia12 a small update. This is the 6th day of no contact and she started texting me. Just random stuff and then she sent me some photos that she had promissed. Should I open them or should I wait? If I open them now and talk to her I think this will be bad for my recovery but at the same time I really want to talk to her. Should I break the no contact rule?
@patricia12 thank you for the advice. I am trying to take my mind of her but some days are harder that others. I miss that person and sometimes I sound very obsessive. About the social media I went from not posting anything to posting a story every few days. She used to be the central point of my life. My happiness depended almost entirely on her. I did not have the need to share anything with other people because she was enough for me. Now that we are no longer together I feel like sharing what I am doing on social media I do it. I am not doing it with the hope that she will see it but because I want to get my social media insecurities. I have been no contact with her for 6 days now. I hope that I can at least 2 more weeks but I know that I have to contact her some time in the future because she has to give me some items we forgot about.
@particia12 I am trying to currently flush my system our of her presence so I can grow as a person because some part of me is stull obsessing about her. Why do you thing that the no contact should be indefinite? Yes I should not interfere with other’s relationships but the other guy interfeared with mine. I know that it’s morally wrong but it would be somewhat justified.
I though that a jealousy approach will work on her. She used to be a very jealous person so I first thought that if she saw me with someone else those feeling would resurface. But I don’t think that I should be doing that because this will mean that I am just doing things to get her back. I want to become a better person and grow. Yes I want to be with her but her current personality is not the one I want. I took the breakup extremely bad and I want to learn not to get so emotionally affected by breakups.
I have an interesting question for you. How do you think will my presence on social media affect her? For example if she sees something that I have posted what feelings will that bring up in her? What is an expected reaction from a person in her situation?
@patricia12 She did not like this before. Until the end of September she acted like a completely different person. She was a kind, thoughtful and giving person. Even when I went to the new city to be with her she still acted like before. For example one day we got into a small argument because she wanted to come to my place to clean it and cook for me and I did not want because I do not want to use her as my personal servant. I suggested that we can do it together but she insisted that she wanted to do it while I was at work to surprise me because I deserved it. I was not an over-bearing tyrant but from time to time ignored her opinion and did what I wanted which hurt her a lot. I was acting like that I was feeling stressed because of the change of city and my new responsibilities. I know now what impact I had on her and I know how to control those feelings or how to better share them with my partner in case I am feeling overwhelmed.
The moment I start thinking about her I start working out to get those feelinga out of my system. There are days like today where the only thing I want is to call her and talk to her for hours. But I know that I must not do that brcause I am still too affected by what happened even if it was almost a month ago.
I also find trying to get back with her quite desperate but after 2 years and 5 month I am sure that she cannot be over me even if in a new relationship. She has always been the type to rush from one relationship to another. A part of me fears that if I wait for their relationship to fall apart she will have had enough time to completely get over me. I would like to make things work but I have accepted that our previous relationship is dead. I want to try and build a new one with her.
@patricia12 the other issue she has had with me is that I was despotic abd too controlling. All rules that applied to her applied to me as well and we have set them together. I really may have been despotic from time to time and I have apologized for that.
When I asked her when we met why we broke up she told me that was tired of the arguing and it was draining to her.Last Thursday I called her to tell her how I felt and told her that I won’t be contacting her anymore. Do you think that 2 weeks are enough or 3 weeks are better? She may currently be on a high because of the new relationship and love.
Also since we liked the same pages on social media the things that she likes appear to me as well. Some of her recent likes include posts like “Hardest pill to swallow? Letting go of a relationship you really wanted to work.” and “isn’t it funny how much time we invest in one person only to end up as strangers again”. This is confusing to me because it is giving me mixed messages like she wants something from me. She also keeps listening to our favourite songs late at night. She also listens to songs about still loving him and stuff like that. This is giving me another headache but I am trying to remove her from my life for now until I can fully control my emotions. After no contact I hope that I can start building attraction again. If I get to meet her I know that I can start but I am not sure if she is willing to talk to me.
I know what she sees in him but not in me and I have changed that already and if given a chance I will show her as well. Is there anything more I can do that wait and stop obsessing over this person?
