Leogirl

Things took a not so good turn lat night. We were having a nice conversation and then I said

Me: “enjoy talking to you”
Him:”Im enjoying it too. Just casual and taking things slow. A few things have progressed but we havent gotten too far.”
Me: “Yeah, I agree. The slow things is difficult for me sometimes. Haha. But a slong as its moving its a good thing”
Him: “I guarantee anything, but its moving in the right direction.”

This is where things turned weird.

Him: “Sorry, I didnt mean that in the wrong was. I think its progressing but just being slow and figuring out what exactly i want is what I am keeping in mind”
Me: “Thats good to know. Thank you. And I’ll keep that in mind I know you wouldnt be talking to me unless ou thought things were going well. Sometimes I do get scared though, but thats just natural.”
Him: “Scared about what?”
Me: “That Ill get hurt again lol. But I trust you and to hear you say things are progressing is a good thing to me.”

Him: “Thats why I am being careful about taking it slow. Because I dont think we have done anything to hurt you no matter what the outcome is. That is also why I said what I said. Ye things are progressing but we need to take it slow. I need to start feeling better, get through exams, move, start work, and whie doing that figure out what want in the end. So I am making sure I dnt hurt anybody in the process of doing all this.”

Me: “Ok. I know we need to take things slow obviously. But I do want you to know that it will hurt me if the outome isnt the best. Because I wear my heart of my sleeve and thats just who I am. I am putting myself out there and being here for you when you need support. I want to be here to support ou ad help you through everything thats going on becsue I know it shows that I truly do care and want whats best for you and us. Im sorry this conversation got too deep. I didnt mean for it too.”

Him:”Its ok. I just dont ant to get too deep. I dont want to hurt you again. I really dont. But I also have told you and you know that I dont know for sure what I want right now. Im trying to figure that out.”

I in no way tried to have a deep conversation like this. But I am hurt from it. I dont wanna wait around and support him through this really tough time in his personal life just to be left for when he finally gets through it all. You know? I feel like I am being his emotional clutch and Im so so scared that hes going to up and leave again when things get better for him. I feel used.

Yeah, its a good thing to stay NC. Best of luck.

I wouldnt think much of it.

Maybe she liked it and decided no one else would.

Interesting that ahe said you dont have to go.

But things are good. We talk everyday. Mighy see him next weekend. Hoping so. But its hard not yo fall nack into it for me. He sometimes seems distant. So idk. He’s hard to read right now. Which is odd because I usually know what hes thinking.

What did she say?

I dont think was nessesarily a bad thing.

But, I think the best thing now is to go full NC. No checking in type of things. Maybe block her on fb and other social media.

Dropping off the face of the earth might be the best solution to this.