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What made you think she expected you to talk to her? Anyway, she ended things and if she wanted to talk to you, she could initiate it herself, couldn’t she? I think you’re on the right track, keep focusing on yourself and continue NC and get your things together. She won’t forget about you because you’re seeing each other so I think NC is bound to go on longer in your case to have the same effect. Stay strong is hasn’t been very long!
Man I think all you can do in that case is hope the Ex is a rebound and will end rather sooner than later. Also, it doesn’t have to mean they are back together if they are hanging out now because they were friends the whole time and maybe he is just there for her as a friend. You can’t know and it really doesn’t matter too much I’d say. But you’re in a bad situation right now, I understand that, because she obviously doesn’t want to spear or hear from you right now. I think you just have to hope she misses you and initiates contact herself (because you literally can’t, because you have no way of contacting her). If you stepped over those boundaries, you might look like a stalker. I think the only chance is keeping up NC and hope she misses you along the way and will unblock you and stuff. Really can’t see another way because, right now, she doesn’t want to see you (hence the blocking etc.). But stay positive, there’s a good chance they are not together and even if they were, could be a rebound.
Honestly I think you’re doing perfectly so far. This would be an absolute dream-scenario for me. Keep up the good work, but don’t rush things! This sounds really, really positive.
I fully understand. In my case, we did not break up but she told me she wasn’t sure. Then I initiated NC for a week and ignored all her messages until she texted me “I don’t need this shit, if you’re not answering we can end things right now” so we agreed to talk and she was really pissed. And a couple of days later, she really did end things. So I am not sure if NC while being still together is such a good idea generally. But on the other hand, being nice to her didn’t help either the weeks before that. Maybe I shouldn’t have stopped with NC back then at all. It’s very difficult to say. I’d love to hear another opinion on this one. I have no idea what you should do honestly because I compare it to my case and am not sure either, if it was good or not.
I think that’s really tough. I think (but I am a newbie as well on this man) that you should do the NC longer, because it doesn’t feel so intense because you are so far apart, you know what I mean? Maybe 60 days instead of 30 or someting. But after that I think you should start texting or emailing her. But I al also curious what other people think you should do, it’s obviously difficult man.
great response tami, gave me strength as well! Do you think I am in good shape because I am on day 8 of NC and have never begged or anything, not even after she said the words (I went with “okay, thanks for an amazing time, you saved me when I was in a bad place and I will never forget that”)?
Man I don’t know. I’m also always scared that she might forget about me (I’m on day 8) but I guess we’ll just have to trust the plan (because when we acted they way we thought best, we obviously somehow screwed up the relationship). I can’t begin to imagine how tough it is if you see her almost every day, but all I can say is trust the plan and not your instincts, it’s the only option left you haven’t examined. Stay strong and positive. Don’t lose faith. Enough time to feel desperate when there’s no hope left.
Thank you divinegirl 🙂 …I am already anxious for Kevin’s next Mail (I just got the one yesterday). I started out NC 8 days ago…
@DivineGirl: How does that letter work? I couldn’t find it on the website. :/
Yes, as I understand it, NC is broken every time you have “serious” conversations with your ex, even if it’s just “how are you doing” etc. I would also recommend to stop writing letters and get some distance between the two of you. It is best for the relationship, but more important, it is important for YOU to sort things out with yourself.
I am on the 8th day of NC and I am already doing better. Still horribly, but better!
