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Posts
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Hi my friends
11th day of no contact and is very hard to deal.its very hard because as i say in my post we work together.i saw her yesterday in work.we didn’t speak once again but i had this feeling that she expect to talk to her.
I don’t know if i can make to complete the 30 days.i ‘m gonna see her tommorow and the day after.anything would be helpfull.Man I don’t know. I’m also always scared that she might forget about me (I’m on day 8) but I guess we’ll just have to trust the plan (because when we acted they way we thought best, we obviously somehow screwed up the relationship). I can’t begin to imagine how tough it is if you see her almost every day, but all I can say is trust the plan and not your instincts, it’s the only option left you haven’t examined. Stay strong and positive. Don’t lose faith. Enough time to feel desperate when there’s no hope left.
My mind says stay to the plan but my heart says ”talk to her”.
But i think you are right.thanks for the response.anything give me strength.@geodj I saw my ex everyday (we didnt work together tho but we live less than a kilometer away so seeing eachother was unavodiable). I suggest you this: stay strong, do not talk to her, unless its a job thing and even that make it short and direct and nothing else. she will wonder what happened that you act like she doesnt exist and if she was this easy to forget.. it isnt that easy for her to see you everyday either trust me. But you need to be NC for 30 days.
Just a thing about my story; its 3 months since break up and I reached out 14 days after breakup – got ignored. again after that i reached out a week later – ignored, for his birthday 10 days after i sended a text saying HBD – got a thank you back, i asked for a coffee-ignored. I havent reach out since new year than and I kept NC until 24. february asking for a favour and then when I got a official response fro him refusing for doing me a favour the favour he refused.. well now he does that favour for me. I UNDERSTAND how hard it ss at first, but then honestly, you get used to live with wanting to text , but you dont. Now, after 3 failed reaches out he takes me to work everyday and from work. and all is cool we’r cool.
I know your case is different but still, NC will do a lot. Sometimes 2 weeks is enough, sometimes 30 days enough, sometimes 2 months and still nothing. But now 30 days is needed. if you screw this up, also keep in mind u will need to restart NC again from day 1, do you really want to throw away those 11 days that were awfully hard? your half way there man! Keep it up!
great response tami, gave me strength as well! Do you think I am in good shape because I am on day 8 of NC and have never begged or anything, not even after she said the words (I went with “okay, thanks for an amazing time, you saved me when I was in a bad place and I will never forget that”)?
tami420 thank you for sharing this with me.it gives me courage.hope eventually to get what you want.
@LeMatt; Yes I think you did good and i belive u will continue to do good ! I think the last text message(u ended this one right? ->“okay, thanks for an amazing time, you saved me when I was in a bad place and I will never forget that”
It was not needy, not pushy not anything that could get her mad i think, and you showed her you respect her decision and that you are thankful for all you’ve had. which is good! and when few days pass you might feel the ruge to text her,,, well stay strong and dont text. go with the plan.
@geodj;you’re welcome. I have been thereand it really is hard. After 50+ days of NC i know how it is, the urge to text everyday and not to text.its so hard -.-yes well i needed 3 months to get him to talk to me a little and now he doesnt avoid my company anymore (YAAAAAAAAAAY) half of my wish came true.
to both of you:
I also have a good suggestion if you will like it. When I had those days that I wrote a text and ALMOST sent it.. I wrote the text totally, all what I wanted to say from a to ž… and i deleted it and never sended it; you can do the same when u feel the urge to text ur ex’es,or write it down on a word document and then delete it and never send ur ex’es..just to let it out, it helps.
Also, now focus on yourself and your improvement, your well being.. and let the girls see when u reach out u have changed and try to change the mistakes ur ex’es left u for. stay strong now and really focus on yourselfs!!Hi again.
I am in the phase thinking maybe she forgets me.although we ‘ve seen each other at work.yesterday once again we didn’t speak. 13th day of NC and getting more and more difficult.
i don’t know if NC work in all cases. i am very confused.
i don’t know if she doesn’t speak to me becsuse she want to move forward or she waits from me to make the first move.i
wonder if she is ok when we work together.i think she is doing thinks to annoy me,thinks that she didn’t do before.
i know she is jelouse propably because she had feelings for me from the text she sends me when we were seperated.she was checking when i was active on messenger and facebook and make scenes although we were seperated!my heart says confront her and if she loves me we can solve together our problems.my mind saus stick to the plan.
and if she thinks that i am not speaking to her because i want to move forward?
to many guestions…
help me to understand.i am so confused really….i really need an advice or opinion about my previous post..i cannot see how im gonna continue doing NC if i see her almost every day…
thank you…like you i work with my ex, even worse we live on the same base. I know what it feels like to have your stomach in knots when you see her, the paranoia of why she so happy without you, the ‘why wont she talk to me’. In my opinion the only thing you can do is to keep nc, be friendly if you have to talk to her but keep it work related, you have to give the impression that you dont give a f##k if she is there or not (even though you’re dying inside). One of two things should occour……she’ll wonder why you’re not interested in her anymore and will start trying to find out, or she’ll just shrug it off and move on. you need to be prepared to not ever get her back, yes i know the point of this page is to get your ex back, but ive come to the conclusion that if thats you’re main and sole goal in life, then you’ll never be able to fix yourself. Self improvement is the main gain here, once you’ve got to the point where you feel, look and act good, then you’ve come to the point where it doesnt matter if you get your ex back, so at that point if you do get them back, then thats just a bonus. A better you is the main goal.
Thank you for replying folklaw. So kind of you.if you read and my other thread maybe you have a completed opinion about my case.your advice is very helpful to me.
ok im all messed up.i was close breaking NC.my ex was here.i have a terrible headache.
dont know what to do.i was calm but inside me was burning..really dont know what to do….
and tommorow we work together….I can’t even imagine that situation. You are really strong for making it until now. I can’t give you any advice, but know that I am sending you strength and wishing you the best
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