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This situation seems pretty similar to where I am right now. I’m at about two months of no contact with 2.5 months since the breakup and I’m trying to map out my first contact and it’s giving me extreme anxiety.
I had kind of let myself go over the past three years physically (partially cause of the relationship, but also just cause of my lifestyle), so I have been hitting the gym every single day and eating a lot healthier, and as a result I’ve lost fifteen pounds. I have also been seeing a counselor once a week in person. I’m trying to start volunteering at an animal shelter. I try to accept every single social invitation I’m offered. My mom and I even took a trip, we went to India and Sri Lanka for two weeks and it was really helpful to get some distraction and to find some joy in things that weren’t my ex.
I am still really hurting, and especially with so much distraction from the trip, coming home has been really hard and I’ve been crying a lot since I got back. I’m trying as hard as I ever have to work on myself and take responsibility for my own happiness, but its been really hard.
