KPowers1192

The mood swings are getting a lot better for me. She’s just like most 20 yr old girls at this point. She really did portray she wanted a serious relationship with me. When her and I were together it seemed like that. Things seemed perfect. When she was away from me obviously not. The only thing that really still bugs me was the second text she had sent me about making the biggest mistake of her life letting me go. Plus all the events afterward, I just don’t know what to make of it all.

I really doubt she wants only friendship. If she were to tell me something like that I would know its just to keep me around in case the new relationship doesn’t work out. I don’t deserve to be a plan B. She really wasn’t a money grubber, but I always insisted on paying for her things when she needed them. It’s also hard for me to accept she really likes this new guy if she goes far out of her way to try and keep strings attached with me.

She definitely isn’t ready for a healthy relationship. I think she partially knows what she is losing which is why she wants to try and keep contact with me, but she won’t fully realize it until she’s done with this guy or a couple more guys. It absolutely sucks having feelings for someone like that.

I suppose the best option would be to stay NC indefinitely until she comes back to me saying she wants to get back together right? At that time I can make my decision if I want her back.

Haha she definitely won’t see an apology from me.

It’s interesting you say that about the dating. I may or may not of included this on this forum already but she didn’t contact me until about 1.5 months into NC. This was the morning after she saw me out on a date. Which has led up to her texting me 4 different times now and doing these weird spying/stakerish things.

She just turned 20. I just turned 22. It was a first love/high school sweetheart kind of relationship.

Should the text literally just say “Thank you”?

I’m starting to think you’re absolutely right about her feeling trapped. I think she realized the grass isn’t greener, but doesn’t want to drop the new bf if I’m not available. Hence her going very far out of her way to text me/creep on me all the time.

There is a good chance I will take this route then. Yeah I signed up for his emails right after the break up.

I agree she needs to do the work and it needs to be her idea. When we define her doing the hard work for me, do you think I should stick to NC/LC until she suggests a reconciliation or in the event she continues to text me should I gradually start talking to her more often?

My feelings don’t change easily and I was very loyal to her. If I believe something can work out I won’t give up on it. She knew I would never lie to her face and I never did. I wish I could say the same for her.

Exactly. I don’t feel like she deserves to be ridden of all that guilt and I’d prefer not to break NC if that’s all it is. She did mention that in her second to last text a few days ago that she knows I hate her, but she will always be there for me no matter what.

Then a month ago she sent a pretty long text saying she made a huge mistake letting me go, she misses me, thinks about me all the time, she knows she messed up, and she’s sorry about everything she’s done to me. In that same text she also had a sentence where she said she wasn’t trying to win me back, then assumed I was much happier without her.

There are just too many mixed signals for me to read what she’s wants at this point. Do you think breaking NC is worth it?

Hey, I appreciate you taking the time to read into my story Mr. A. 🙂 Hmmm well she used to tell me she liked my hygiene, sense of humor, and the things I do for her. I don’t mean to sound like an A hole here, but this is as good as I can put it. She has a ton of debt. Her family are all lying and cheating garbage. Her friends are all whores who can’t keep a relationship for 2 weeks before they find a new guy. I only tell you this as I think it plays a huge role in why she is the way she is.

She wants to keep me around because she never had to pay for a thing. I was always faithful to her. She would get free dinner almost every night and get expensive gifts from me. All she seemed to do when we weren’t spending time together was to go out with her slutty friends and meet other dudes. When she was with me, she would always tell me oh so much how she dearly cares about me.

I think she loves still. I also think she regrets leaving me. I rarely feel sad anymore. It’s mainly anger. There are points in time, like right now, where I can set my emotions aside and think from a third person perspective. I just don’t see it working out anymore. She has messed up too much and this stringing me along behavior, isn’t making my feelings any stronger for her.

I overheard my cousin and brother talking and pissed off about a Facebook status she made recently. It was something like “My boyfriend had to get up at 3am and go save lives tonight. I’m so proud to be dating a fireman”. Not sure when she posted this, but it sounded like it was around the time she was basically writing an obituary for my dog on her wall. She’s crazy and has no idea what she wants. After overhearing this the immediate thought of someone else in her bed, really turned me off. I believe it burned any bridge that led to a reconciliation. I’ll explain below.

When I heard them talking about this. At first, I had this awful butterfly feeling that made me weak, which lasted for about 15 minutes. This immediately turned into a rage for about 30 minutes. For the first time ever the words “I don’t want her back” came out of my mouth. Current I am in this indifferent mindset and it has lasted for about 4 hours now. As of right now I think my feelings for her are gone. This is obviously a good thing, because she doesn’t deserve me. I’ve slowly been coming to this conclusion, but it feels official this time.