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Cheers for the reply LAbound. Great advise once again. I’ll try that soon with her. Trouble is she’ll just say something like “she’s MY baby, it’s on my terms and if you don’t like it just carry on walking away.” Lots of people around me and people on here are telling me that it’s deffinetly over between us and I have no chance of getting them back. And basically she’s a spiteful nasty bitch who’s only ever going to use my daughter as a weapon to hurt me with.
I want to believe because she shows me so much hatred that she must still love me but my gut is starting to tell me that it’s just wishful thinking.
I can’t believe someone who was once so loving, caring and affectionate towards me can now be so poisonous and cold and worst of all use our baby together against me. I’ve heard so many similar stories on here about once they were so loving and now they’re just horrible and the broken hearted person just doesn’t understand what’s happened and what’s going on.
I fear I’m now in that boat and there’s no turning the situation around. Nothing will work. I think it’s time now I just try to fix myself instead of being in the mindset of fixing “US”.
Click on my profil, topics started and you’ll see my story. Get back to me on and give me you verdict.
Because it’s been 7 months now since we finished. I went back in October asking to get back and for a week we text and it was looking good. She then had a change of heart and has turned absolutely poisonous towards me. Another big factor is that she began a new relationship at the end of November begining of December and they’re still going strong I think. It’s heart breaking but tough shit. The karma bus ran me over. She begged for 2 months to get back but I didn’t take chance. Now I’m here spilling my heart to you guys. Life’s a bitch.
Thank you LAbound. My daughter will be 8 months old this Thursday. I have forgiven my ex for everything that’s happened and myself and I’ve left it in the past. I’ve asked her to do the same but every now and again she will come out with some bull shit comment like “you won’t do fuck all for “MY” chid but everything and anything for the “OTHER” two”.
Being as my daughter is only 8 months old there’s not a lot of fun activities she can participate in. So my ex would see it as me trying to spend time with her and using our daughter as an excuse.
I’ve asked before when she goes swimming for the first time I’d like to go along too but I guarantee she’ll take her new bf instead to spite me. I suggested back in December that we both take her to see Father Christmas in our town, she just said I don’t know, maybe. The next day when I was in work she sent me a photo of my daughter sat on Santa’s lap. She took her sister instead. She’s purposely making me miss out on all her firsts.
As for having another baby, I only had the vasectomy 6 months ago and I could easily have it reversed. I’m not sure that would be the right thing to do though. I’d only be doing it to get her back.
Tomorrow would be 22 days NC. I’m inclined to stick it out till I reach 30. Can’t see another week making a difference. You are probably right again in saying that she’ll resent me for NC. That’ll be the first thing she throws at me when I reach out and make contact with her. She’ll want a argument about that straight away and I’ll be back to square one. Your a pathetic man and a shit father!! God, give me the strength I need to proceed.
That is good advice but it’s so difficult to even look at another woman when your heartbroken and pining for the woman that has crushed you. You just can’t see past her. In time it gets better. I’ve been in this dark place a few times now. I ended my last relationship and I’m heartbroken haha
LAbound, reading your reply the first time, I don’t think what you said really registered with me at the time. After reading it again I think your very much on the right path. I think she thinks that I gave up way to early on her and my daughter and chose my two other children and their mother over them.
I suspect she resents me for this with a feeling that I let them down, abandoned them and betrayed her trust and she now blames me for the demise of our relationship.
I don’t know. To tell you the truth, I’m still not thinking clearly. Where as she’s had 7 months to adjust and come to terms with it, I was angry with her for the first 4 to 5 months for what she did to me, the trouble it all caused and switched off. I think the true loss of what we had only registered with me at the begining of October. She’s blocked me, my family, my friends and anyone who she thinks has a connection with on Facebook since the 30th August.
I think I’ve left it way to long to fix things and fear she wil be happy and start a serious relationship with this new guy and I’ll be frozen out of her and my daughters lives.
Do you think I’m making a mistake with the NC rule. I just don’t know where to turn or what to do for the best. Do you have any advice? Does anybody? Is anybody on here in a similar situation?
I’m very happy for you esamuels. It’s nice to hear a success story. LAbound is right. Keep up the good work and don’t slack off. Best of luck buddy.
I’m not to sure but @martin but it something that you’ve uploaded and another person Corey. Does that help?
As always, great advise LAbound. I just don’t know. She definitely hates the mother of my children. She thinks that I bend over backwards for her. eg. At one point she never owned a washing machine or car either so I was doing all the children’s washing (not their mothers) and was the one picking the kids up and dropping them off all the time. So I think you are probably right on the nail there. Regarding the vasectomy, she didn’t want any children herself when we got together and she was the one the doctors said needed to be counciled because I had 2 already and she Had none and was still young. She was going to go but in the meantime they’d sent us a letter stating we didn’t need to do that any longer and I could go straight through with the op.
Since then (after we finished) she has said to me that she has always wanted children and that’s the reason she was put on this planet! And now I can’t give her anymore she’s going to have to find somebody else. I don’t know, she just confuses me. I don’t think she knows what she wants herself.
We went out shopping together over Christmas twice to buy the baby some presents. In those times and quite a few more I was spending quite a lot of time up her mothers house with her on and the baby and the rest of her family when they finished work . Up to 8hrs sometimes in one sitting. I would try to leave and not out stay my welcome but they would all say “don’t go stay for dinner”. In these time I guess you could use the term we were having a fake friendship or at least I was. Nothing else though.
In those times at the begining of December is when I foumd out she was on relationship number 2. I seen a text come through on her phone. She left her phone on the side of the chair next to me when she went upstairs (on purpose, I’m not sure). I never mentioned it to her once. I just carried on as normal with no pressure and no intentions towards her.
I seen her and the baby Christmas day for about 2 hrs and then had the baby 11am – 7pm on Boxing Day. On the 29th I asked could I have her again but she refused me that afternoon and then text back in the late evening that I could have her in the morning because (her words) WE are going out. I had plans that day and told her I couldnt, that’s when I had the message that I was pathetic and a shit father and my daughter is better off with her and Paul. I didn’t acknowledge the part about her new bf just kept the conversation about my daughter.
Since then I’ve had no contact with her or my daughter. She has text me once saying that I’ve given up on my daughter and she’s going to contact my mother and sister. My family with much hart ache are the ones that have told me to just walk away. They’ve seen all the texts that’s she’s sent me and they’re are disgusted by her and think she’s pure evil and she took us all for a ride.
They’ve said to me it’s going to treat me like this for the next 10yrs plus using my daughter as a weapon against us.I just don’t understand her, we had a fantastic year together where she was the perfect partner and stepmother to my children. One momement of madness under the influence of alcohol and we are no longer together and she detest me. No mater what I say or do it’s always wrong and she’ll find something to argue over.
The NC is in a desperate attempt to try and let her feeling towards me calm down but I’m not sure if it’s just fan the fire. Perhaps my family is right and I should just walk away. I love her and I can’t at the moment and want the 2 of them back. My family will support what ever decision I make.
Sorry about this being so long winded LAbound but you seem to be so sure in yourself where you are at right now and always give out great advise and comfort to others.
Hey, can anybody share these utube video links with me please. Also do the help you to feel any better? Thank you.
Anna, why don’t try playing him at his own game? Don’t even respond to his messages. You say you found it hard at the last meet up but he had a great time. He could probably sense this and still thinks he has all the power. Take it back!! NC from here for as long as you want. Turn the tables. It seems he’s still invested.
Hey ratpacker28,
It’s a terrible feeling of helplessness but I feel your pain! I don’t know if I should just give up too. My ex has been in 2 relationships since we finished. The second one started sometime around the end of November or begining of December. We have a baby together too. I’ve been told over Christmas that my daughter is better off with my ex and her new partner. She’s turned poisonous towards me. I’m just hoping in time it sorts it’s self out. I’m 21 into NC. I haven’t given up on my daughter by any means! I’m just hoping some NC will help her calm down and at least be civil towards me. Easier said than done, but try and stay strong.
