Dixie

Thank you for your answer.
Well i need to figure out what i have been been doing wrong as i was in it too.
I can be pretty desperate because of my insecurities i need to work on that actively.
I know and accepted that he will not be back with the intentions to get me back! I am not angry rather sad and dissapointed because it was a relationship with love amd fun and care but that is life sometimes we do not know tge reason why things happen and i need to accept that.

thank you it felt good your words. yes it is painful I am strong. what happened was that maybe I made my first mistake I gathered all of his things what he left at my apartment and I asked him what does he want with them. he replied by saying that he still in the countryside but will be in the same city as me next week and will come and get it. he also asked if it urgent. I replied that it is okey then this morning he sent me a thank you. so next week we will meet. I am aware that it will be painful to see him as I am 100 % sure he does not want to get back together and I might but I will be strong and try not show any emotion. and hopefully after that it will not hurt as much. I also do not want to overthink it, why he is coming personally as when he left he sent his friend, why he contacted me if he still works. and the main question which I might not get answer what is his goal. painful but it works for the long run. Thank you again

I was thinking a lot about your words and made me look deep in myself. I can honestly say that we had a pretty special relationship we had such a strong connection and chemistry since the beginning. he was my first real love and I was his first real love, we lived together and had a good harmony. the reason for having problems were that he could not face himself. he had personal issues like could not get a proper job and did not have much money and it frustrated him. he is really smart but can not face problems. he did his things the same way as he left me. did not think just did. it was not about this girl as it is clear that did not work out. he needed to escape I am an adult having a good job a flat a car where he suppose to be and could not match this standards but I supported him not just financially but emotionally but if you can not face the problems the person who tries to help you becomes the enemy who wants you to deal with yourself, even tough you know that this person is right and wants you to be happy. this was the easy way out, the reason form him was that he was not in love anymore and this is just an excuse. yes I was stressed I gained weight I wanted him to be successful because he wroth it, he is not a bad person in fact he is a good one and he did all of this “bad thing” out of stress and fear. I was a partner a good one he not so much but I know him he wanted to but screwed up.
after the break up I went trough a really tough time I felt not wanted and ugly and not loved but I have accepted later that he moved on with this girl and now he can have a carefree summer and being a teenager again, I started to develop myself loosing weight and loving myself and after just 2 months I was okey did not think of this I have amazing friends that supported me and loved me and life came back.
everyone told me that once he will be out of money and has to move back to his parents or the girl will realize that who he is she live break up with her. and maybe they were right at the time and they predicted that within 4-5 months he wants to crawl back ( during the summer he had a job which lasted for 2 months in the countryside) but so soon? the job not even ended now they could be together for real not doing long distance. but no he immediately contacted me and the last 3 weeks he did quite a lot. the reason I am feeling weak because I am confused, I know him I knew him every single thing what he feels how he thinks, and now I do not know what he wants. yes it is easy to say to get over him he is not right for you but who knows this person or the relationship that we had? me. not 1 year passed only 2,5 months. and he did not change at all it seems as he is not man enough to stand in front of me to tell me what he wants. okey he is now facing the break up and maybe does not know what he wants and he made a huge mistake and people are not perfect but me neither I don’t know what I want because he does not know what he wants and you get over the break up internally yes I agree but not when your ex is trying to get back in your life these distraction can ruin my getting over process. I am tired emotionally I was the one who had to face all the problems mainly mine and getting over the fact that the person I cared about the most and loved so much left me for a girl who is not comparable with me. yes it was a downgrade and I should not be mad at her but I am, I am honest and I am angry at her. and him too. but I want to close this I want to know what is his end game and go from there, not deciding right now what I want. I have not seen him over 2,5 months now, I have not talk to him. I am fragile at one point I feel I could never touch him or look at him and other times I feel that if he faces his problems and proves to himself that he is worthy and of course for me yes it can work but it takes a lot of work. I am not over him not my mind not my heart it was 2,5 years of love and partnership and future planning which was thrown out because of a bad decision. it is really painful and now I am just confused 100% because we had something special we knew and everyone knew and this is more then enough to believe that it can work but it also means that it can be thrown out that easily as well. if he does not want me back why contact? why he wants to see me on instagram? he wants me to see how happy he is with this girl? or he wants me to see that there is no girl? too many questions and no answer just my mind going places where it not suppose to. in the meantime I am working on myself I am proud of myself I did this whole thing with grace and did not contact him at all did not post stupid things on social media people are seeing that I am doing better and everyone is proud of me. I feel confident I got my justification with him contacting me and possible not together with that girl. but stil something is feeling not complete. so this is my answer sorry for the long post but now you know what is really in my mind and in my heart.

Hello, again I got a contact this time it was a request to follow me on instagram.. I allowed it for 2 reasons. one being that I am doing well and I want him to see that I am fine without him and he made the right decision. the other part is that his gf should see that his bf wants to check on his ex… what kind of relationship is that? there are some rumors going that he left her. I am strong not thinking about him not posting a lot I am not a teenager. I am just scared that he will continue this and maybe it is for the best as I want to close this once and for all. but after 2 months that suppose to be the best period in a relationship our was. and not thinking about the ex. i know he made a big mistake and hopefully he is scared of me. but what are the reasons he wants to be in my life? to clear his conscious? in the last 3 weeks he contacted me 6 times, so i don’t think so, be friends? it sounds so stupid not enough time has past for that. and if he wants to reconcile why he is not just contact me in person? and he is not afraid that his gf would see that he is following me and checking my profile? sooo weird i am strong and happy without this whole thing i can say that i am 99% over the break up. but i want to be 100% and i feel in order to have that we need a sit down. but i do not want to make the first move. i don’t think so that he wants me back just really want to know what he wants. any thoughts? thank you

Thank you guys so much. It helps but yet again he contacted me yesterday only wit a printscreen about netflix that my fav series’s new season is available. He even draw a red circle and an arrow. I ignored it and delete it. After the first contact i was like okey he wanted to close our relationship for the last time, but after this i do not know. This is clearly a reminder that i still think about you when something comes ul that reminds me of you. I just do not get it he made a decesion… but yes i need to be over it and not to focus on this at all. I hope that he got the message that i do not want anything from him. Just this shakes me.. feeling sad

@mr_the_ex thank you for your point of view. Even if he wants to get back together which I am pretty sure that he does not as he only wrote me that how grateful for the 2 years that we gave each other and wanted to know if I still hate him. I could never forgive him and I am not the same person as I was, no longer insecure of needing the validation of a person who throws away a special thing what we had because he has problems with himself and dating after only 2 weeks with a girl who is nothing comparing to me. Posting that he has the best girlfriend because she made her breakfast… after only 2 weeks that he told me he wants to be alone and I do not care if they are still together or not or it is not working out as he hoped for, for me it will be a rebound as both of them just got out from a serious relationship plus she is 10 years younger than us. so yeah it is better for me that he gets the hint that I do not want him in my life at all. People are making mistakes you are right but they have to live with this and if you make a decision know the consequences. I am really thankful for your opinion as all my friends are kinda saying the same. every opinion counts 🙂

@Nicholle thank you for your opinion. Well he did not say that he wants me back just wanted to know if a still hate him. I am ignoring him as if i reply it will be only me who will come out as the “looser”. I do not want to get back together as i would never could trust him anymore. Is just i would really want to know why he has to contact me?! He should be happy with his “choice” which is ridicoluous she is so not at the same level as me. But i hope he will never contact me again.. yes the heartbreak i could not do this again.

@patricia12 thank you for your comment, yes you are right and I am trying to convince myself that I do not need him in my life but he was my first love and we had such a special connection, yes he took advantage of the situation but he tried to compensate what he had, so it is a 50 % of taking advantage of the situation he wanted to achieve but he could not.. so he got depressed and wanted to move on and as I was a constant reminder of his failures. The thing that bothers me the most is that after 2,5 years of love and caring for each other and being in a serious adult relationship, how is it possible to move on so quickly to a girl who is 10 years younger and lives at home and does not have the same interest? he does not even think of me anymore and is he over me that quickly? Yes our love started really quickly but during that time it developed into a deep connection I was his best friend as well as his girlfriend. Yes he is a nice guy but now everyone around me wants to tell him off and they are really mad. I am not stalking or contacting him at all but my friends see what he is posting all the time and everyone says that this girl is not right for him and he will want to come back but I do not think this anymore according to the piece about the rebound it clearly is one but how he could do this? I was not enough? okey I gained weight and started to be frustrated about the future and money. have I mistaken him for an other person? can someone be someone else for 2,5 years?