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Ofcause it can. That would be scenario number 2 in my last post.
Here it is again:Do you want to improve so much, and become better boyfriend material, so that she cant stay away and want you back?
Or do you want her to think “Oh shit, I really made the right choice here“She WILL start to compare him to you sooner or later. Who is going to win?
So far he has the upper hand because of the fighting between you and your ex.The reason I am saying this is because it seems to me like all your energy is being focused on her and her new guy.
Foget about it. Use ALL your energy on YOU! Become the best boyfriend in the world! Every action from now on in your life, should be steps towards making you a better person. THAT is the key to getting them back, the NC is not the thing that brings them back.In about 3 months or so the honeymoon stage of her relationship is going to fade (guaranteed, it happends in ALL relationships)
She will the question if this is the right relationship for her. She will look at you and compare her new guy to you.
This I can gurantee you!What is going to happen after that is up to you my friend.
Do you want to improve so much, and become better boyfriend material, so that she cant stay away and want you back?
Or do you want her to think “Oh shit, I really made the right choice here“1) Why do you think her attraction for you faded? (bad time is one thing, but it cannot remove love)
2) have you done anything to improve during this NC?I used this article when I was in the beginning of my break up. It explains the different stages of a break up that you and your ex goes through.
It gives you a better understanding of why you are hurting so much right now, and she doesnt:
Post break up stagesI understand how you feel mate.
But listen: you HAVE to do NC. And that also means: no looking at FB page, no looking at pictures, no bumbing into them. You have to stay away from places you can run into them as much as possible. And if you do run into them, like you did at the photobooth, just hurry up snd move on.
I know it is hard now but it gets better.I have no problem with it, because this was what I expected. She is dating him, with all that involves. He is giving her some of the things she needs (attention, closeness ect) and yes she does like it, and yes she most likely likes him to because of it. But since they are in the honeymoon stage right now I cannot compete with him. I will keep working on myself and improve.
And be ready when her rebound crashes.Oh, just one thing I noticed today:
Cuddle could mean both sleeping over and not sleeping over.
Today when she posted about her brunch I noticed she wrote: ….today I had promissed my sweet man to stand ready with brunch for him
Sounds to me like he didnt sleep over.I dont necessarily think the thing she misses from ne is sex. To be honest it could just be someone to cuddle with and giver hermattention those lonely evenings at home.
Sorry. But i meant I have tried all kinds of dates. That that only involved sex, dates without sex, dates without as much as a kiss, and dates that lasted more than just one date. Hope that explaiend better 🙂
Update
So last time I updated I told you how I reacted to one of her likes and went and liked one of her posts back. She has been making several posts on Instagram since then. And she basicly mentions him each and every time, but never mentions his name.Friday she posted about her plans for the weekend. And she wrote “…and tonight a sweet guys is coming over to cuddle, and tomorrow I get to spend the entire day with him”. So I assume he spend the night.
Later friday evening she posted pictures of some food stuff she made ready for next days brunch and she hoped “the sweet guy liked it”…
And today is Saturday and she posted pictures of her brunch with her sweet guy.So like I said: she litteraly tries everything she can to mention him in every posts possible. She has only know him for like 12-14 days. This seems very wierd. She never even did that with me, when we started dating.
My thoughts
After all I have read, and all I know about the different stages of a break up and G.I.G.S, this is very normal. That is also why I am more calm now then I would have been 4 months ago. This is surpose to happend. She needs to go out and experience different rebounds, and see the grass is not green on the other side. I will keep focus on becomeing a more awesome person, and keep my Instagram updated with the progress so I stay on her mind.
This rebound guy is not to be affraid of. She just started missing some of the things I offered.Not something you have to worry about right now. It will be some time before you get to that point 🙂
Your welcome@phonis
No I rejected them. Simpy because I had no feelings for them anymore, and because I had worked so much on myself that I was attracting even hotter girls. I had upgraded so to speak 🙂
If you should take your ex back or not is up to you. When the time comes I am sure you know the answer yourself. When she stands in front of you and tells you she wants to give it a second chance you will know deep down if you want to or not.
I have heard of many relationship that became even stronger when they got back together. But be prepared that getting them back is the easy part. The hard part cones after that. You need to put a lot of work into getting the trust back, and YOU need to be able to forgive.@annakis
Yup. Must likely a rebound as she already had him “lined up” before she left you. Most likely he had the qualities she thought you where lacking. As time paases by she will soon see that all the other things you offered was also very important (The old saying: you never know what you had untill its gone)… Hope this helps. If you need to talk more I think it would be better if you open a brand new topic on this, and I will be happy to assist.
Let this topic stay with the topic starter. 🙂It does sound like G.I.G.S to me. Or at least it is a big part of it. I am sure that the suggestions in the articles will benefit you a lot. NC and work on yourself. Let her think that she “lost you”.
Now for the bad news: it takes time! Sadly I have had 3 experiences with G.I.G.S.
First GF:
She quickly rebounded straigth after the break up (8 year relationship) she was cold as ice for the 6 months she was with him. Didnt even bother to look at me if we passed by each other. Then when her rebound crashed and burned came 3 months of her being single and missirable. And then she came crawling back. So it took her 9 months total.
When she was single we meet a couple of times in the club. We had a great time, a lot to drink and talked like we always do. But one time I meet a beatyful girl and ofcause started to hit on her. THAT was the exact moment my ex wanted me back. She litteraly threw her glass at the floor and made a big scene in the middle of the club. I guess she just needed to see that I had moved on before it all hit her.Girlfriend #2
She entered a rebound 4 months later. After 3 months together she moved in with him in another city. It took 2 years!! But now she wants me back more then ever and still drunk calls me every now and then to beg.Girlfriend #3
My current ex. Its been 7 months so far.So: dont put a timeframe on it, cause this is not gonna happend overnight
Yes do NC and keep improveing yourself. When she is done with this rebound and looks at you she will be impressed with the new you, and question it when her friends said “she was to good for you”…
You also have some good cards on your hands.
You were her first big love. She will never forget that, and she will keep comparing her new dates to you. You also treated her very well. So she will only have good memories of you.You migth want to google “Grass is Greener syndrome”…
In fact here are the 2 best articles I know on this topic:
What is G.I.G.S: (Click here
More details on G.I.G.S (Click here)I dont know if this is a clear case of Grass is Greener, but given her young age I think a lot of the stuff applies here. She needs time to grow up and mature. She needs to be able to stand on her own legs, make her own mistakes and mlst importantly: make her own decissions about you without her friends.
