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Told you so 😉
After the honeymoon phase passes, the new fling/relationship isnt so wonderfull afterall.Do you know what kind of trouble its all about?
I can hear you are still very upset about the situration.
If she wants to drop by with your things: let her! Be home to accept the things. Just be kind to her and say thanks and smile. Nothing else.
Normally when we drop of things at our ex’s we expect them to not be home (because seeing us is painfull to them), so we leave the stuff at the doorstep. That is how it normally goes.
Be home, be happy and show her this doesnt bother you at all.You also talk about how she is doing all the things you wanted to do with her. Sorry but I cannot tell you her motivation for this. It seems very strange if you ask me, and I can understand how it must mess with your mind.
But I would like to remind you that in the first 6 months after break up our ex’s will change a lot. Even to the point were you stop up and think “who the hell is this person“!
The sweetest and most loveing girl may turn into a cold, heartsless bitch.
The quiet, stay-at-home girl becomes the crazy party girl.I always tell this to people i talk to:
Dont ever judge your ex by what they do in the first 6 months after a break up.
They need to protect themselfs and move on, and they will use all the self-defence mechanism they can. They are not themselfs at this point, and you need to look the other way and not care. 🙂Well now you are at the same place as me.
We need to stay NC and not care about them. So they think they lost us.
Yet, we still need to show them that we are OK. That there is no hard feelings, and they should not feel guilty. If they want to approach us it is OK.I think the best approach to this is to keep it light every time you meet with her. Flirt with her, good eye contact, good smile, ask about her and be interrested in what she has been up to. But always make sure to keep it short, so she will reach out later on to continue your talk.
Never ever bring up anything about your past or the break up. And if she starts to appoligies for the break up, just wipe it off with a “ahh dont worry about it. You did what you had to do and I dont blame you for anything“.Great. 🙂
Looking forward to your next update. I think you are on the right path here, and you seem very calm about the situration. Keep it up 🙂As long as you never ask her these questions 🙂
She doesn’t need any “ex moments” with you, and that might also be the reson why she avoids seeing you face-to-face. She is affraid of those awkward “ex moment” that will add to her guilt. By using text she is on safe ground, and has the power to end the conversation if you should start to give her any ex moments.The whole “how could she do that” thing is something you need to get over. You cannot win her back if you still hold a grudge. You need to be able to forgive.
Yes, post all you want on Instagram. It is a great way to show of how well you are doing. She might get the news from a friend, or she might be looking at your profile herself from time to time. 🙂
1) when she wants you back. Remember friendzone is a no go…
2) never initiate contact. Remember: you are not interrested anymore, and she cannot get the impression that you are. She needs to be affraid that she lost you. If she dumped this guy and was single I guess a little contact would be ok.
3) The fact that he lives so far away is a major plus for you. Remember that when the honeymoon stage of her relationship fades, she will start to compare him to you. Him being 4 hours away, you being close by…. It will be very hard for him to reach the same level of closeness as you and her had.Hope this helps a bit. You seems to have a good situration going here.
Just keep your cool. She needs to feel like she has lost you.
If she feels like she has lost you, her mind will panic. Just like it did with you when you lost her.
If she doesn´t feel like she has lost you, there will be no reason for her mind to panic, and she will not be in any hurry….Hope this helps. And no worries my friend. I remember when I just got dumped. I had a million questions in my head, but when I finally sat down in front of the computer it was hard to find the words.
Look at this reply I gave in another thread:
If you stick around trying to be “friends” with your ex, the rebound person has a much easier time of it. The rebound person doesn’t have to be that emotionally supportive, because someone else is taking up the slack for him. A person who knows the dumper far better then him (you). This goes back and forth until the rebound learns enough to take over from you and that’s when you are pushed out.
It explains very well why you should not hang out with her while she is with him. 🙂
Very interresting. There is clearly still some feelings there. I guess face-to-face was to much for her, so she ran to the toilet and then used text because it is easier.
It is ok to reply to the text as long as you do not invest more in the conversation then she does. Reply as short and as slow as she does. Shorter and slower if possible. Remember: you are only replying to be polite. You are not replying because you miss her, or want her back. Well….. Yes you are, but she cannot know that! 🙂
She must never ever know that she can have you back anytime she want. And be careful. Our ex’s have a 6th sense about these things.But back to your original question.
There are still some feelings there if you ask me, but try not to let it get to your head. She is with this new guy, and her talking to you is most likely just because she wants you as a backup, just in case.
And no. Hanging out is a big no go when she is in a rebound. You are just helping himHope my post made sence.
I read the story and based on all that I know on this subject, a lot of stuff just came to my mind that I needed to tell you. So I just typed it all down as it came to me 🙂I understand it is tuff right now.
What are your thoughts on this guy? Be honest now…
Is he a better guy for her then you are? You know what she is looking for in a man and what she values. In what areas do you think he wins, and in what areas do you think you win?Let her date around with this guy. An “affair” like this normally dies after 6 months on avarage. So you have plenty of time to work on yourself and improve.
Right now she is in the honeymoon stage. Everything is just so wonderfull and in her mind he is the most wonderfull thing that ever happend. You know how it is in the beginning 🙂
Right now she wont give you any thoughts what so ever.
At some point she might start to reach out. Just a classic “how are you doing” text. These texts will only be send to you out of guilt and to keep you around just in case this new guy doesnt work out.
But remeber: it takes a long time.
14 days NC is noting in this case. 3 months is nothing.
When an ex rebounds it takes longer for the feeling of “missing you” hits them.
You shouldnt expect anything to happend these next 6 months.If you do well in improving yourself and becoming a better and happier person, there is a chance she might.
You say you would be ok with being friends, and slowly get back together again.
Sorry my friend but those are two very different things, and you can’t have both. Either you are friends with her with all it takes (you have to hear about new guys she sleeps with, and how good he is ect) or you go NC with a chance of getting her back (and a chance of loosing her)
