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Hi Conner, i am so sorry to hear that :(.
I didnt think she would move on to someone else so quick. I believe u are right with your prediction that she already had this thing going on with Bob. She test the water with him and once she was sure, she broke up with you. That is really awful of her (i know u have feelings for her and cant see it that way right now but i know u will agree with me at some point).I think you are a very good guy with genuine feelings and i truly hope that u find the right person who will respond to ur feelings. And if the right person is her, i hope she understands this sooner than u think.
Please keep ur hopes and believe in urself that u will find the true love 🙂
Lastly, please update us with ur good news when the time comes 🙂
Hi Conner,
I just hope you are not too harsh on yourself. Please remember that we all do mistakes and the bigger mistake is not to learn anything from it and not to make any changes. But this is not the case for u. You have made soo many positive changes in ur life and i am sure u will continue to do so… U should be proud of yourself.
I am sure her parents will also take a notice of this hopefully when u get back together. But i think for the moment its better not to contact her parents. The main point of nc is to give space to each other and see how life would be without each other. If u contact her parents, this isnt exactly giving the space she needs. She will see it as an attempt from u to insist on getting back together.
Please be patient, hopefully u will have the chance to have a convo with parents when things are much better with ur ex.I know u miss her a lot and for u every minute u spend apart is waste of time but u just need to be a bit patient.
Stay strong my friend. I am sure good days are ahead of u.Hi Conner,
I am so sorry to hear you are hurting so much 🙁 …
I would like to tell you couple of things … About not openning up to others, this is not ur fault and you really dont have to open up. My ex boyfriend was also like you. He didnt like to talk about himself much. But i accepted him like this and never forced him to talk to me. By time, he opened up couple of times. And for me that was enough. You dont have to change urself. Trust me this wasnt a mistake …
And u dont really how to find different ways of showing her how much u love her. Really, i am sure it was enough for her to know in simple ways that u loved her…
In my opinion the main reason that stands out here is she felt u didnt appear to take responsibility for your future which she wanted to be part of… Its very important for a girl to feel “safe” in the relationship.
U mentioned u enrolled for college to study bussiness (if i didnt misunderstand). Thats is great. And you should definetly continue to focus on ur study. One day when u meet her again, u should be able to show her u can keep ur promises and that u have started thinking of ur future. Please do this first for urself and then for her.
I recommend continue to improve urself for another at least 1 month. Continue to make positive drastic changes in ur life. And then contact her after 1 month.
And please dont worry so much that she will move on so quickly. Noone forgets noone so fast. I am sure she is also thinking of you sometimes (may be not as strongly as u think of her..)
Please stay positive and try to focus on good changes in ur life. The rest will come by time. And i really hope she comes back if she is the right person for u…You over thinking & over analysing. You dont let urself breath.
Nothing is for sure.
This girl seems a bit complicated & problematic. Its hard to know what she will do… She might miss the attention & care u have showed to her and contact u…
Pls try to be patient. U never know how things will be in life.I think you boost her ego when u call/text her. She thinks u are this guy who keeps chasing her and she feel like the best girl in the world. And i am sure she thinks u will keep calling / texting all the time & will be there waiting for her.
In my opinion, you should change this image of urself in her eyes. Be the guy who is confident and can be happy without her…
The only way that u can show this at the moment is by stopping to contact her.Please dont panic. If she is really into you, the time will help. And she will contact u…please let somethings to time… Give urself sometime too…
You know its just a feeling but i think u will move on to someone else and then u will hear from her …
I think he still didnt make a decision. Still confused. I feel he doesnt want to lose you though… You did very well by not replying to his last text…
When u meet, pls try to be neutral… Dont show ur emotions. But i think u should heAr him out because he might have really got offended on this cheating issue and have built things on it.
I think u have a big chance of getting back together. He just needs time.Wow !! Very good news 🙂 happy for you ….
Do u feel like waiting ?
I think u shouldnt play any games here… Just follow ur instinct and feelings…Dear, i am very sure he will send u other links again, please just ignore them all. I am not sure of his intentions to be honest. It might be that he is checking if u are still interested which is abit selfish in my opinion. If u are an honest person and u break up with someone and this person still has feelings for u, you just do not play this yo yo game. Its just emotional torture for the other person.
I am not sure how things will follow between the two of u but for the moment i strongly advice for u not to reply to him for anything. He needs to sit down and thinkg of his actions and he will only do it when YOU ignore him. Trust me.No u didnt mess anything. But it kind of gave her the impression that u are still trying…
I would stop it and focus on myself. Believe in urslef. I think thats the most important thing.I am sure if/when u read ur posts 1-2 years from now, you will wonder why u contacted someone who lied to you and started a new relationship before having a closure with u.
(I think her son was a cover up)She wants to make sure u are still around. Despite the fact that she broke ur heart, she still expect u to be around. Its a selfish act… Please dont fall for it. If she really regrets her action of breaking up, she should say/do more than that.
I think you should really focus on how u will feel better. If you continue talking to her like a “friend”, it will hurt u and u will find it very difficult to move on (if ultimately things doesnt work out).
She made a decision which meant u are not together and she is not even facing the consequence for this… U are thinking too much on her… She broke ur heart. U dont need to think if u will be rude or not to her anymore.
u can either ignore her messages and she will ultimately understand u dont want to stay just “friends” or u can send a text making it clear to her that u dont want to stay friends… I think the first option is better … And pls dont feel like u will hurt her if u dont repy, she will understand. She already hurt u…pls dont be so soft to her… I know its hard when u have feelings but when u take the softy approach, people just take u for granted and walk all over u…Hi Lily,
I am sorry you are hurting so much and going through this.
I am no expert on this relationship issues (since i am here as well), but i will try to give you my opinion.
First of all, dont think of the past anymore. All these beggings have been done and u cant undo it so there is no point in focusing on that. I understand it makes u feel bad that there is a chance u made things worse by begging but u have to let these thoughts go so u can focus on now.
People sometimes might think they are not in love anymore but when they know this person is moving on or moved on, it awakens their love for this person. In my opinion, you should take a step back. Give her at least 2 months alone. I know its not easy. I know there are millions of questions running through ur mind and its a tough situation to deal with but if this will lead u to reunite with her, its worth it. The way things are right now, i think this is ur best option. To be patient and to wait.
Think that u wouldnt be happy if u knew she is not happy… Right? So its better to wait for the right time than rushing things…
Meanwhile, force urself to do things. Even if u dont 100% enjoy it, force urself to go out with friends, do sports etc.
As they say hope dies last. Please dont lose ur hope for urself. I am sure u will do great with or without her.
