-
Posts
-
My girlfriend and I were together for a year and a half. We were both in love with each other for a while until I got confused and didn’t know what I wanted. I felt like I had more living to do and didn’t give her as much attention as she deserved and the feelings she had for me began to fade while we were still together. She tried to end things once before but I convinced her to give me another chance and I blew it again but she loved me enough to give it another shot. I never cheated on her but it came to the point where she told me she was no longer in love with me or wanted to be with me anymore and just wanted to be alone. We had not gone a day without talking to each other since the first time we kissed. I begged her to let me fully commit myself and make her the happiest girl ever and she told me it was too late because she doesn’t want it anymore. She also said I was one of the only guys she ever let in and that she will always love me but is no longer in love with me and that she has moved on but still wants to maintain a good relationship with me and talk to me. I asked her if I were to stop talking to her for a while if it would make her miss me and she said it won’t change her mind because she misses me even when we are talking and just wants to be friends. I told her I can’t talk to her for a while because I needed time to get over her and she told me she is here for me when I am ready. I don’t want to be just friends. It has been 5 days since we spoke last. If she does contact me should I respond? Will she ever love me again? Please advise.
MikeAlso, after the first time she ended it with me I acted like I didn’t care and we continued to talk for about 3 weeks. We then agreed to meet up for valentines day and it went well. Then she went away on a business trip and she texted me every night saying love and miss you. When she got back I assumed we were still together and I pressured her into seeing me again and told her I thought we were still together and it drove her away. Then I became desperate and needy and she felt very bad but continued to tell me she is no longer in love with me or wants to be with me. Once again I know she misses me as she asked me to promise we would maintain a good relationship but we have yet to contact eachother in 5 days. Will she ever be in love with me again?
Can anyone help me? Its been 7 days no contact now.
I’ve read this article and it’s been very helpful. I would love to hear more from anyone on my specific situation.
It’s really painful isn’t it, when the one person you want to contact you, doesn’t. BUT you are doing the right thing but not contacting her either.
You need to give her some time to forget all the negative association she has with you, and you need to give yourself time to become emotionally stable so when the time is right, you will be ready for it.
As hard as no contact is, it can be very rewarding.
It really gives you a chance to sort yourself out and work on getting YOU back to a good place. It’s not all about her. But she also needs time to evaluate and miss you. give her that space, and give yourself that space.
How long does it usually take for the girl to start forgetting the negatives of the relationship and start missing the positives?
it depends on the details of your relationship. now I’m not 100% sure, but it seems as if she does still have feelings for you, but the way you treated her is making her suppress it. give her time. definitely at least a month, if possible, a little longer. when the time is right and you do contact her, tread lightly, don’t get to deep, and just work slowly. most importantly, don’t ever take her for granted again. that’s why she feels she needs to suppress her feelings for you in the first place. I’m sure with the right timing and right planning, things will work out. you just need to be patient. love takes detours, and sometimes it takes a while to get back on track. don’t give up hope!
@Kahlad1030 Thank you for your input. Today is day 8 no contact. I definitely think she still has feelings for me and I feel like she is going to contact me soon. If she does do I ignore her?
Also, just because she may still have feelings for me does not mean she will necessarily miss me to the extent where she wants me back right? Doesn’t say much but everytime I like a post on instagram she likes the same one right after me. It makes me feel as if she wants me to contact her but I will not. Inputs please?
I’m on day 9 of no contact today and I’m struggling. I’m starting to think she may not miss me. Help anyone?
I think a lot of us on here are in the same boat. I know I am for sure. I have no idea at all if my ex even thinks about me, let alone feels anything for me. but I have to have faith. I am doing NC for MY sake, not for his. And I will contact him when I feel ready to do so. The last couple of days I have found really hard, but I powered through it because I don’t want to undo my hard work so far.
And read this article if you haven’t done so already. It was really helpful for me.
Today is day 10 of nc. The last thing I wrote to her was “Ok I dont think we should talk for a while im going to need some time to get over u” and she said “ok i am here when u are ready” and then she said goodbye. Is it bad that she knows I’m not talking to her because I am trying to get over her? Should I text her and act like I am over her or continue no contact? Please help
Definitely continue on with no contact. See if she contacts you first. If you don’t hear from her, do the full 30 days and then maybe send a text – keep it casual. I wouldn’t bring up the relationship. I am doing no contact for a 2nd time because after the first time I made some progress but then I think I expected too much too soon and appeared too needy. So continue with the NC and give her some time to miss you. If you text/call her now, you may appear too needy and that is not attractive. I hope this helps somewhat.
Can you read my post “Has anyone tried no contact more than once?” and let me know what you think? Thanks.
How long did it take for your ex to contact you the first time? And what did you consider progress?
I planned on doing 30 days NC today is day 7 and she contacted me on day 7
she texted me.
“Hey how are you doing?”
i replied i’m doing good how about you?
she says “i’m well.i don’t really have anything to say but for the last few days i’ve been thinking about you and just praying that everything is well with you so i’m happy to hear you are good.”
I kept it cool and said “Thanks for checking up on me. everything is good. I’m just leaving the gym with a friend. glad to hear you’re doing well ;)”
she replies “Okay have a good night ttyl”
Now i’m back to NC i feel like this is a good sign and motivation to finish the month without contacting her first. so i’ll just wait.
What do you guys think? I’m still going to not contact her first until next month, as i’m continuing NC.
Thanks
@tygatyga I think its a good start and you should continue NC. My ex texted me tonight on day 10 of NC and said she was debating whether or not to text me and just wanted to say hi and see how i’m doing and said if u don’t want to answer I totally get it. I didn’t respond yet but was thinking about texting her back tomorrow. Should I text her back in the morning or continue no contact? Any advise is greatly appreciated. Thanks
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.