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I will stay in no contact. I am just afraid he would think that i have just moved on and forget about me. I felt the text from him was so ending, I just got a bad feeling and at the same time a little hope. I politely responded him, wishing that he will get better and have the life he derves and so on. Just scared I made a mistake with agreeing to stay on friendly terms? I really do want him to miss me. Not replace me with someone else.
A friend told me that this girl my ex slept with when we wore broken up the last time had written happy birthday to him on his Facebook page. Does that mean that they are fooling around again?
I am trying to. It’s just devestating to think that he might already be fooling around with someone else. I feel like a complete loser. How can I get him back if he is interested in someone else? I don’t know this for sure, I just have a terrible feeling. Why would she congratulate him? After everything I have been through with him it doesn’t seem to mean anything to him. Does he think that she is better than me?
She’s a rebound. Chances are high that it wont last long.
I was in the same situation worrying if my ex was fooling around with someone. I did around 2.5months no contact until she contacted me.
NC will help you in the long term. It has helped me a lot.
He wont come back if you show neediness, instead he will push you further away.
I wont show him any neediness. I don´t know if he is fooling around with her either. I just got a awful feeling about it. I am so afraid that he would prefer her over me, that he feels that she is better than me. That he just forgets about me.
Are you sure he would be wondering about me, and miss me if I stay in no contact for a long time? It just felt that he closed us down with the message he sent me. What do you think?
We live in a not that particular big town, so it´s very easy to meet each other out drinking. I know he has the next weekend off, and he would probably go out drinking. I am terrified that I will see him and her flirting and that he would leave with her. Or has planned to spend friday or saturday night at her place.
You need to stop worrying about him with another woman. It’s not doing you any good and it’s standing in the way of you working on yourself. You need to be in a mindset that you are awesome and that he can’t do better than you. There is no competition. You need to be in a place of confidence and high self-esteem. This will help you to attract him back. It will be a lot of work, but you can do it.
Any other woman that comes along won’t mean anything because they didn’t go through all the time and hardships that you two went through. Other women were not there for him when he had cancer. That means something. Who cares if they wish him happy birthday? That’s not a big deal compared to what you two went through.
NC will make him miss you and wonder what you are up to. Don’t over think it, just do it and follow the steps.
If you see him out or see him with another woman, you need to act like it doesn’t bother you. Live your life and have fun. It will show him that you are not needy and that you haven’t fallen apart without him. This will be attractive and he will wonder why the change. Try to spend some time with your friends and do not bring up your ex or the breakup, just focus on having a good time, it will feel good to not think about all the stuff that has happened and it will give your mind a break.
I try not to think about it, but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by it. The idea of him being with someone else is devastating. I just feel that this girl will have an upper hand if he start fooling around with her again. They have never been together or anything, but they slept together after a night out when we wore broken up the last time. My ex told me all about it when he wanted to start all over again. I am just scared that all the feelings he have for me, he will have for her instead. I am terrified that he sees something in her and wants to try that out. I don´t know, my mind is spinning like crazy now and I am freaking out. I know I should not have contacted him yesterday, and I wont do that again. I am just scared that I hav ruined my chances.
Do you guys really think this is fixable? That it is possible to get him back? Even though the situation is what it is? He just seemed so determined. Wishing me the best and so on.
I just feel that I blew my chances when I broke the no contact. I clearly was not thinking straight. And you guys must think I am a nut job obsessing over this. Or that I am stupid for trying to get him back when we have been broken up before and there has been some back and forth. The problem is that we have been together for 2,5 years, that is in my book a long time, we have been through a lot due to him getting cancer 4 months into the relationship. He was under treatment for almost a year, and we nearly lost him. He was done with treatment fall 2013. And this summer he started struggling mentally. And the last months before christmas there has been some back and forth and we ended it once and got together again after three weeks. We are so good together, and I know he needs to work on himself to fix this depression, and he is doing that, but I really don´t want to give up on us as I know how great we are together and due to all the stuff we have been through. I am just scared that he wont feel the same again and wont see any point in trying one more time.
The other girl really doesn’t have an upper hand at all. She was a one night stand, how much could he really respect her or think she is relationship material? You have the upper hand because you two shared a bond and were in a relationship together. By keeping up NC you also have the upper hand with him.
I don’t think you blew your chances. Lots of us here have made mistakes in the beginning but it can be turned around, part of NC is that it gives your ex time to forget little things like that that happened.
It’s no one’s right to judge each other here. The forums are for support. If you decide that you want to give it another try with your ex, we support you in that and try to help you through best we can. It’s normal to be upset and think about and obsess about things. You just don’t want to do it too long and get stuck in that mindset. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but soon you will think of these things less and less. I felt similar the first week of my NC but it kept getting better and better.
I don´t know why this other girl makes me so worried. I know they slept together once, and I know they flirted and exchanged some text due to the one night stand. My ex told me all of this when we got back together the last time. He said that he missed me like crazy and basically used her to fill some kind of void for short period of time, but it made him miss me even more he said. So he told this girl he was not interested in her. They are still friends on Facebook, and I am so worried that he will start fooling around with her again or something, that is why he feel she would have the upper hand if they do, and he becomes interested in her. I don´t know, I feel completely lost and devastated. I really want to fight for this and win him back. I am just worried that it´s to late or that he can´t imagine us together again, worried that he wont miss me and reach out to me.
I am so grateful that you guys answer me and supports me, I really appreciate it, I can´t talk to my friends about it as they just keep saying I should forget about him.
What do I do if he doesn´t reach out to me when I am in no contact? Should I take it as a sign that he doesn´t miss me or have found another girl?
If he does end up with that girl again, it will be as a rebound like before, because he knows she is easy. If he does, it will just be a repeat of last time, him trying to fill a void. I understand that it’s hurtful and makes you upset, but I don’t think you should worry about her too much. She doesn’t sound that great if she hooks up with guys on rebound.
During NC if he doesn’t reach out, it doesn’t mean anything. Some people’s ex’s reach out, some don’t. It can be for a lot of reasons like hurt feelings, pride, scared, etc. Sometimes the ex is waiting for you to reach out or something like that.
I really do hope he wont be hooking up with her again. She just ended a super long relationship herself in november or something, they had been together for years and they wore engaged. This girl is known for flirting, texting and hooking up with others when she is in a relationship. I can´t understand that she is attractive when guys know that. I really hope that he doesn´t hook up with her again or exchange texts. The Facebook birthday congratulation made me so worried. I keep wondering if he thinks about me, what he´s doing and who he´s with. I know he has his son until tomorrow, but I am afraid that he has plans with this girl or I don´t know after he drops his son of.
I really hope that he will reach out to me. This is hard, I want to call him all the time. And I was stupid not to be strong enough and contacted him on friday.
What do I do if I reach out to him after NC and he tells me he is seeing someone else? I can´t stop thinking about him with other girls or this particular girl. Scared that I would get that smacked in the face. He says he needs time for himself to work on things, I can´t understand why he would get involved with someone else then. He said three days before he blew up that he couldn´t imagine us not being together and that he didn´t want us to end, and the all of a sudden he just blews up and ends it. He was so mad, and he was still mad when he called on monday, but at the same time the conversation was as it used to be. When I contacted him on friday he called me up and he sounded really irritated, and it went downhill. Then he called me a couple of hours later and he sounded in a better mood and the conversation was like on monday, similar to what we use to have. Then afterwards I got the text from him and I responded politely. I don´t know if the things I wrote was a mistake.
He might reach out during NC or he might not. Just don’t get your hopes up about it or expect it. If it happens, it happens. NC is time for you to work on yourself and getting yourself into a better place emotionally, you want to try not to worry about your ex but instead focus on yourself.
Right now it’s best to focus on yourself and your NC, and you can prepare for contacting him closer to the end of your NC. By the time your NC is up you should be feeling better and you may have changed your mind or come up with different ideas of what you want or want to try. It will be more clear.
If he is with someone else at that point it doesn’t mean that things are over or that you don’t still have a chance at fixing things. That scenario has happened to others here and there are plenty of people that can advise you on that and how to proceed. At that point you can also decide what you want to do and which path to take. It’s important and I want you to know that you have options.
Your ex’s words and actions are not congruent. He’s obviously going through some things and seems to be confused as to what he wants or how to handle things. Hopefully, during NC he gets some things figured out, it’s obviously hurting you very much.
Your text wasn’t a huge mistake by any means. It was good that you were polite, calm, and not needy. You can feel good about that.
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