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Hello everyone. Some of you may have read my previous posts and noticed that I had said a few weeks ago I was giving up and moving on for good. I really thought that myself, but after seeing my ex again I realized the insane chemistry we still have and how much we still love each other.
I will keep it as brief as possible, give any advice you feel you have for me. We both dated/slept with other people since being together. He ended up in an actual relationship with this random girl whom he liked, but in his own words could never love and had no passion for.
When I saw him a few days ago he said that he wishes he could settle for someone/something not as good as what we had but its really hard since he still loves me and thinks of me every single day and oftentimes regrets the breakup. Its been four months since the breakup, he moved out three months ago. He said he loves me and that he looks at the pictures of our year together all the time (he put them all on his phone after I emailed them to him, which is pretty big I think.) He showed me his favorites that he looks at every day. I feel much the same way as I have dated several guys, a few who have attempted to start relationships with me and one whom I have tons of chemistry with but don’t feel much of anything for him.
He basically just said a lot of things that made it seem like he is absolutely not over me and misses me, I think he is in that stage where he is missing me the most post breakup and the bad thoughts are starting to leave his head. His new girlfriend started demanding more from him and wanted him to stop talking to me and everything, so he broke it off with her. He had been that week spending time with me and would ask me to hang out before her. I tried to comfort him because I want him to know that as his friend I care about his heart. He just kind of ignored that but when I tried to say goodnight he begged me to not stop texting him and comforting him.
The purpose of this long rant is that I feel like I want to try and win him back. After the shit that happened in our relationship the first time around, even though the breakup was his fault, the fighting and bad stuff is mostly my fault. I am going to make Thanksgiving dinner for myself and him and bring him food at work since he has to work that day. We talked about how I used to always bring him food/drinks when he was at work and how he really misses that. I was going to cook for myself anyways, so might as well make a little extra and bring it to him, even if its just a friendly gesture I want him to know that I really truly do care about him and did in my own way try to make him feel loved and wanted when we were together, which is one of the breakup reasons. Is there anything else I should do, or not do? I don’t really care if all of this is for nothing, I don’t need him in my life, but great love is worth fighting for and I think I have to show him I have changed to be more often than not the person he fell in love with and not the crazy side of me he saw too often.
Wow… seems like he’s yours for the taking if you wanted, unless I’m reading this wrong. Seems like he’s go for it, so all depends on whether you really want him or not. Sounds like you have a great opportunity though, good luck! 🙂
Do you really think so? I just don’t know how to approach the subject because in the past whenever he has gotten close again and I bring up getting back together he shuts down and says we aren’t getting back together and that he should stay away from me then never does.
Last night we went to see a movie together and when I asked him is he considered it a date or just friends hanging out he said “well it definitely wasn’t just friends hanging out.” but he didn’t say that it was a date either.
He has been looking at me recently with the look in his eyes he used to have when we were madly in love when we first met, which is something he almost never has done since we broke up. But he added on facebook this new girl who is his perfect type that he just met, though he met her on Saturday and still has invited me to hang out twice this week and then went with me to the movies when I invited him, so its probably nothing right? Guess I will just bring him Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and see what happens from there.
Yeah go with that idea.
Just enjoy your time with him now. Getting back together is a process which requires patience. In the end it should be his idea, and don’t worry he will show it openly. Just try not to put pressure on him to make a decision, or be available for him all the time.
To me, it sounds like his shields are all the way down. He misses having you like old times but still a little bit scared that fights or arguments will happen. That is why I think he first wants to see if you guys could create that chemistry again without the relationship tag attached to it. Once he convinces himself that indeed it will work out this time, he is gonna bring it up.
Things have been pretty good still, we have been sort of doing what we did when we first started dating and almost every day he says I love you first when I don’t say it. I have been holding back a little and have been doing good about not freaking out on him about him going out to parties or whatever, which has made him contact me even more and tell me he wishes I had gone with him and maybe next time we will go together. I did get a little cranky with him today as he went out last night to a dinner thing as friends with the girl he just broke up with as they had bought the tickets a couple weeks ago, but he did contact me throughout the night and is saying he didn’t see her much and spent most of the night with his buddy. I was a little cranky today because on top of that last night, I asked him today to be at our apartment to sign for a really important package but he left 15 minutes before they got here. I will message him and apologize then leave him be until he wants to chat with me again.
Aww seems like u won your man bk bbe what ever he felt for this girl won’t be nuffing like he feels for u asu got memories etc just keep not stressing him and keep in contact with him keep sending him txts to remember funny times to make him smile 🙂 and all men do the hole freeze wen u ask if can get bk togeva and they just say wanna stay friends for now which stuck but should all work out.
He has been really distant and cold the past two days. I got upset with him two nights ago and he ignored my messages even though he read them but eventually just came over to my apartment because he said he didn’t want me to be upset with him. Then he told me he is going to take someone else to a concert because he wants to go with someone who is a friend, but if that weren’t the case I would be the female at the top of the list or something. He spent the night but everything seemed a bit forced. The next morning was a bit better and as he was leaving to go to work, he said he wanted me to message him later. I did and he saw the message, which was me asking for us to go on more dates, but he never responded. So I sent a few more which he read but didn’t answer. Then he finally answered one but just snapped at me he had been working then had a final. I ended up sending him a message telling him to contact me when he wanted to as friends or whatever and he read that but never responded. That was 12 hours ago. I’m afraid I ruined everything we had been building, but in my defense the other night he did go to a dinner thing with that girl and didn’t bother to even message me once when every day leading up to it he messaged me several times using pet names and asking to hang out etc. I’m confused and just want him to come home already.
Well i did fuck it all up. He came over last night to return the key to our apartment and told me that things were going back to the way they were and he can’t be with me right now. Wants to be friends etc. He ended up saying we just need more time and told me not to give up on something with someone else if it happens with them for him. Ugh. I just want to cry because I was so close and now i am back at zero or even worse with him.
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