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I am in the same situation. She has a bad image of me in her head. I feel highly emotional. There is this other guy, who she is getting closer and closer to.
The only thing you can do is give it time. That is the key for removing all the bad memories and for her to miss you
.Break up is one thing, but break up + her getting new guy is… another level of it. Im feeling devastated inside after she told me that, I realize it might be a rebound, but my brain tells me only bad things about it (stuff like – shes happy with him, shes plans with him, she doesnt think about me). Same as in your situation they are getting closer, they havent met, but it is going to happen, I feel it (goddamn valentines soon :)).
Yep. I found the same thing. Basically, one night she is going mental and crying above t how I ruined it and is trying to break up.
The next day I look at her apparent ‘deleyed’ Facebook account and see she added this guy recently who changes his relationship status to with my girlfriend…
I go mental and eventually talk to the parents, when the truth comes out about how I apparently have no respect for their daughter and how they urged her to break up with me and consider others. Apparently she always ‘heeds’ their advice. She cries saying she didn’t want to see him.
But there they are now, getting into a relationship. I agree, the pain was unbearable. First knowing my lovely girl didn’t want to be with me, secondly the parent’s involvement, and the most devastating of all, knowing she had replaced me and was dating something else. He was texting her before and capitalised on my mistakes and her parent’s wishe. It is so unfair.
I keep getting told it is a rebound, but they are getting closer now and she ostrcacised me e. It is pure hell.
The only thing I can say is pretend to be Ok with it. Otherwise you will push her away. Being Ok with it is attattractive. You can do it!
Good that she cried and she doesnt want to be with him, my ex havent got emotional since we broke up… The break up was very emotional, we both were miserable for the last two days, we both cried, but she kept saying that she doesnt love me anymore and we cant be together, even thru tears. I still hear her words “you were my whole world but u disappointed me”, most devastating thing to hear… Since then… not even one “i miss you”, just “whats up”, “how are you”, not even one emotional outburst from her (we broke up 18th of december). Thats why I keep thinking she is serious about it and I have no chance.
Also we live in different places, we dont use facebook, I dont have many ways to bump into her or just talk.
Hmmm. Well she is seeing him now. And ignored me since October, although I bombarded her with texts.
My advice would be to give it time. It seems like she is playing a game to see if you will break. Don’t play her games. She didn’t fall out of love with you, as is evident from her words to you.
Have you made any changes in your life? Positive changes of course. You can also use jelousy, I dont mean getting new girl and rubbing it into ur ex’ face, being a jerk is not cool. Show her girls are attracted to you, if you know she sees you go to a complete stranger and tell her the truth that your ex which u love is watching and you want to show her you are cool with the break up and girls are into you, something like this. Jelousy is a strong emotion, also – forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. When she asks about other girl? Just a friend from work/school/etc. I know you want her back and you dont want other girls, same as me and my ex, but she needs to see you happy with your life, positive people are more attractive. Those games sound funny, but we all need to play them if we want our exes back.
Im giving it time, but I also want to figure it out, thats in my nature I guess. I thought that this is a game, but later I saw what they are writing to each other, didnt look like a game (“u will be mine”, many “:*” and stuff like that). Even if it is a game, Im definitely not playing it, Im really trying to act cool even tho Im madly in love with her.
How come her words are evident? She clearly stated she doesnt love me anymore, calmly and thru tears, both the same.
She was saying you were the world to her. I think those are very strong words. It is clear you must change and show her.
She is testing you. Definitel, to see if you react. Trust me, she is only doing it to pass you off. Definitely a rebound to compensate for breakup.
Ermm, not a good idea for me to use jealousy now. It was one of the reasons she broke up, because she never felt secure and would always look at my phone. I also cheated on her, although I made it clear this wad a mistake and only happened when she withdrew. I made it clear this girl was out of my life.
A month after, I tries using jealousy, but in a terrible way due to my own craziness. I detailed a girl I slept with, showed her pictures and said she was better in bed. This was out of pure desperation thay she would not respond to anything and out of anger about what she did.
I also got into a relationship, which I told her about also, but that ended, as I realised the girl could not make up for the fact I lost my girlfriend, who I love so much.
I have almost zero chance of getting her back after what I did. The only I have made it to leave her alone and stop acting crazy. I feel so down most of the time.
@ihavenoidea how do you know what they are writing to each other? That’s odd
That changes it a bit, but you still need to show her that you are not THAT guy whos doing stupid things when hes desperate or mad anymore, Ive been there, said things I didnt really mean, but there was no going back. Also she will know you are acting and pretending to be different man if u keep avoiding other girls, show her you are cool around other girls, u dont have to date them, its all about finding balance. You dont want her to forget about cheating and other stuff, you want her to forgive you and believe that you wont do such things again, its crucial. She said she loves you, but is hurt and she is just trying to move on blindly believing that parents chose her the right guy, try to understand her, she is lost as much as you are if not more. Be positive about everything she says even if its about her “boyfriend”, turn bad things into jokes.
After some time you might even try going to her parents (if u havent tried doing it this way before) and say that you made mistakes, you are sorry and you are fine with the break up (even if u dont feel like it) and wish their daughter all the best. They also need to see changed man if their influence on your ex is as big as u described. Thats just an idea, but after such thing they shouldnt be so negative about you (ofc they wont go to your side), everyone makes mistakes.
I cant really imagine my ex testing me this way, not really her style… That makes it hard to believe.
@patrick_d, back when I was on my knees begging for forgiveness I used to spy on her and she was overactive on WhatsApp and played a lot with the other guy on Steam (yes, she is a gamergirl), these things made me ask her if she has someone, she said yes, not hesistating, big freaking yes right after my question.
Two days ago my friend told me what they are talking about, I dont know if he spied on my ex (should that worry me?) or accidentally saw that as it was in game, basically everyone couldve watched that, but I dont think they knew someone is watching.
I see. That’s not healthy for you what you are doing. Stop worrying about what she is doing. She should be thinking of you and what you are doing.
If she has a new man would it make a difference? Answer that honestly please. Would you still take her back if she wanted you back? Would you Forget about it? I bet you would. I know the thoughts are hard, but the mind is strange and she might have no proper control over her mind. Block out the thoughts. Who gives a shit at the end of the day? It may be nothing but flirting. But stop looking for reasons to torture yourself.
Go and enjoy yourself. For you
I really think she is testing you to see if you break. Just keep cool, keep up no contact and then contact!
Ermm, I did a lot worse. I told the parents (strict conservatives) thay we had sex, I had threatened this to my ex is she didn’t respond. She didn’t, so I told them. It was such a stupid thing. I did anything to get her to respond, I threatened suicide, told her to get an std test and messaged her multiple times a day for 3 months with no response.
She liked the guy anyhow, and had been texting him but loved me. Her parents simply pushed her to consider and see him whilst berating her to tears for seeing me.
I have blown it. I have established no contact for 3 weeks, but do not think there a way back. Whatever chemistry she and him had is growing. He is very much her type too. I am resigned so much now.
I acted crazy, partially because it was such a shock. A week before we splitup t, I senses she wad unhappy and suggested we trial separate, to which she responded by crying and complained of chest pains.
She has blocked my calls, I made her block me from Facebook twice. We have no mutual friends and we don’t see eachother in our daily lives.her and her friends ignore my text messages.
It is hopeless. I am so unhappy. I feel envious of guys who are at least still in contact with their ex. I cannot fforgive myself. We had such an amazing relationship, if only she was not insecure and didn’t have horrid parents. But I went crazy and said horrid things to her, calling her names etc.
I think you have a lot of hope. Just learn from my mistakes and keep cool!
I know it doesnt change anything, Im not spying on her for 3 weeks now. That information caught me by surprise and I told the guy that I dont really care about that and laughed it off, but inside I felt really bad about it, I still do.
I feel bad inside at times too. But when you understand the psychology of it then it helps. She Needs a replacement because I was so good. HAHA.
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