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Ive wrote my whole history in another topic, but now Im having the worst time… I know shes with someone else (got together with him 2-3 weeks after I moved out), I unfortunately saw what they are writing to each other… Flirting at its best, it makes me so angry and sad, cant even describe it. They havent met so far, but its clearly going to happen. They got to know each other thru internet, been “friends”, but it moved to another level.
Im planning to ask her out for a coffee next week to show off my changes (we live in different places, i have work stuff in her town next week), but… I dont know if im just lying to myself that i have a chance… I kinda need encouragement, last time she contacted me was monday 26.01 and well, she used to contact me every monday with casual “whats up”, but guess what, not even a text today. I dont what is more painful, the fact that she is slowly forgetting me (no contact in her usual monday) or that she has someone else.
It looks like she moved on, at least I see it that way. Having hard time believing its just a rebound and shes still thinking about me.
We were together for 5 years… I moved out 18.12.2014. Not contacting her for 3 weeks or so.
I was in a similar situation. She was urged by her parents to split up from me and see another guy. She met up with him behind my back. Afterwards I was so worried and ended up going crazy at the thought of her getting with someone else so quickly. Eventually I drove her away with my obsessive texting and begging / anger.
It would have been a lot easier if she didn’t have someone else.
Learn from my mistakes. Do no contact for at least 31 days. If she contacts you, do not respond. She knows she can have you anytime she wants. Go away for a while, let her wonder. The more you try, the more harm it does. It sounds like a rebound with this guy. Keep strong.
Thanks for the answer, but I know for sure she is not being forced to anything. Its all on her. When I asked her if she has someone, she didnt hestitate and answered right away with “Yes”.
Back when I was in begging phase (before I found this site) she told me that we werent together even when we lived together, she stopped loving me more than a half year before moving out… Her words.
Im working on myself, thats another story. Im doing no contact for 3 weeks and well, nothing changed, like 3 texts from her with whats up. 🙁
She is still in contact! That’s good. My ex never responds at all. Which means it is dead. If you have communication still, then anything is possible! Keep positive. Be the prize.
Hard to call it communication, our conversations look… no fun at all, like two strangers. I think she was just worried and asked how am i doing, thats all.
Well that at least shows she cares! You need to just go away and allow her to miss you more. Also, she needs to know you are having fun without her, or give that impression. Are you friends on Facebook?
We are not using facebook, I had to go back to my home town (300km from her), I moved to her when we got together. I havent seen her since the breakup, Im going to her town on a work trip next week and I wanted to ask her out for a coffee, but kinda afraid she will say no. It really looks like she is having good time with her new guy…
But remember, it could be an act. I think you need a longer amount of no contact, so that yoy can feel better about the situation and allow her some more time to regret what happene. This guy sounds like a rebound. Just stay strong. If I was the rebound guy, I would not be happy if she was texting you, even if it was to ask if you are Ok.
They didnt know I was reading that stuff, I wish I hadnt. She probably didnt tell that guy that she contacted me several times.
I was a dick for a year due to my addiction (im done with it now, no, not drugs/alcohol ;)), Im afraid she doesnt have anything to regret…
Well, in that case you need to prove you have changed. Once she sees you are a changed man, then she will start to have feelings again. Just stay positive. She is reaching out to contact you still. He is a rebound and it will end soon.
Keep up no contact and come back a changed man. Don’t worry about the other guy.
Well, he is giving her the things I didnt…Flirt, conversation, blah thinking of it makes me puke, literally.
Hmmm, I felt the same way. But I had a different relationship with my ex. It was more romantic. She will miss the things you did.
Time is crucial. Stay distant. He is available to her anytime. You are not. That is a very attractive thing, I’d she thinks she cannot have you.
Time is key.
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