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I have to admit,I’m very, very tempted to break no contact now… It’s been two weeks since we last talked, and about 3 since we broke up.
The thing is, yesterday I thought about something she said the night she broke up with me. She said “If it’s meant to be, I’ll come back.” I realised that the fact that she said that was giving me a lot of (probably) false hope and was holding me back from moving on.
I realised that I wasn’t willing to be anyone’s Plan B, anyone’s backup plan, and it pushed me away from trying to get her back and more towards moving on from her completely.
The thing is this has made it much harder to keep no contact with her, as I’m feeling hurt and angry and I’m tempted to send her a message telling her that I’m moving on and that I won’t wait around for her.
Weirdly enough I’m also tempted to send her a message telling her that I’m going to move on and give her a sort of ultimatum, either she picks me now and is serious about it or I walk out of her life forever.
And then again, I also feel like I want to send her just a pure apology letter, nothing in it but an apology for the mistakes I made and the hurt I caused her and nothing else.
Basically I’m finding it really hard to not talk to her, I can’t think about anything else 🙁
I feel you, i am the same with my ex. im on day 17 of NC and 28 days after broken up. I miss her everyday and i want to message her, even wanted to drive by her house after work to see her maybe through the window.
You have to think about it logically. Will it help your relationship by contacting early? Will it make her come back? THe anwer is probably No. You can be happy for 1 day but will you be happy on the long term?
These steps from Kevin did help thousands of other couples so why wouldnt it help us. Maybe yes, Maybe no. What you need to do is believe in the system and hope for the best. Atleast thats what im doing.Its really unbeliveble how my situation is the same. We broke up a few weeks ago, shes now in a Rebound Relationship almost the same day we broke up. About giving me a second chance she said that she doesnt wana have a realationship with me anymore. what makes it really hard for me, is that “she dont wana loose me”. she doesnt know at the moment what she wants. i tryed NC but she was calling and texting me everyday. so i started to think that i should put her out of my life forever, to have some clarity in life.
here is my story, lolin times where i feel good i just wana follow the 5 step plan, but when i feel unhappy, sad and miserable i just wana know what is going on. fighting to write and call her again. but i wana work on myselfe, i really need this, sometimes i just dont know anymore… staying strong is very hard
ps: sry for my bad english
how it turned out with the situation of not willing to be the backup plan and telling her that you moving on? you talked to her about it or you sticked to the NC?
I’ve stuck to NC so far, I guess telling her that I don’t want to be her backup will only make me look like an asshole in her mind…
Obviously I don’t want that, and I don’t want to hurt her, not really.
I’m sticking with NC until I’m emotionally stable, and I’m DEFINITELY not emotionally stable right now, I’m up and down all over the place!
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