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soooo iam was together with my girlfriend for 2 years almost EVERY day. 3 weeks ago i broke up with her cause she did things like lying in my face(not just once) sending half naked pictures to facebook, whatsupp guys( not just once ). she said that she dont know why she did it maybe cause she isnt happy with me anymore. so however i broke up but after 2 days i realised that i cant live without her. every part of my body is just shouting for her and i cant go anywhere without thinking on her. so the last 2 weeks i was crying, writing and texting her that i want a second chance. she went on distance and kinda ignort me, what was makeing it even harder for me… she said i can make her happy anymore and she dont want an relationship. moreover all the time this “i dont know” so last week she moved out, took all her suff and is now with her new friends she knows maybe for 1 month. at night after moving she wrote me that she cant imagine a life without me. i got a bit happier when i found this side and when i cant anymore iam just reading this artikles from kevin over and over again. i tryed the NC rule and on the first day i had 20 missed calls from her. so now this week iam still trying the NC but she is calling me, and when iam not picking up shes writing me stuff like i will nerver change” “that iam not there for her anymore”…. so i really dont know anymore if this NC is good for us and what she wants.. i just really loved her and we both thought that we will be together forever(all this familystuff) is it right when we both suffer like this? why is it so complicated? why we cant just try it again? i will still try the NC iam at 0 days.
so now she deleted all pictures of us on facebook… iam pretty sure she has a new one. can be that it a rebound relationship. i will stick for sure to the NC. so if i know that she has a new one and she dont know that i know it i can…noooo.. i will just stick to the NC, lets see what will happen 🙂
so today she checked me facebook(found out somehow my password) and got really angry that iam writing with one girl. she said that now its really over and stuff like this. but actually i found out her password too and what i found wasnt good… will never check it again cause its hurting me too much. so in the end of our call we realised that we care about each other(what the other is doing) and its importand for her that iam not writing with other girls. and that its still not over??? so iam trying to stick to the NC because my life is a real mess(problems with my study and in general with my whole life). so i WANT the NC to get ready to start through. shes not making it easyer for me, but i really need this. i even told her 3 times that i want some space and time formyselfe… on the one hand she still loves me and wana know what iam doing and on the hand i have the feeling that iam just a toy for her…
You really need to start NC and focus on yourself completely, for your own happiness with communicating emphatically to her about same. Once you feel confident you can reach out and try to start having fun moments, and can slowly take it ahead.
Lol, I can relate to it having little same mistakes and was hurt later, currently on strict NC. Please check my post and feel free to share your thoughts.
so here is a small update, what happened last week until now. in the beginning of the week i got really emotional and told her that i cant stay the pain and its better to nerver ever have contact anymore. but she didnt want this and dont wanted to loose me forever. so at the weekend she came to my place to get her letters. she started to cry said that she still loves me and dont know what to do. after this, all the pain came back again to me and in the evening i called her to ask if she wana come over to me. after tiers from my side she said no nad that its “over”. on monday she came again to tell me that this other guy is really stressy for her and she cant stay this. “was thiniking to come back to me” iam now on couple of days of NC, still thinking everyday on her, still very unhappy, still checking the phone if shes calling or texting me. when shes calling me iam not geting emotional anymore, just pretending to be happy and that everything is okay. trying the best to do some stuff formyselfe, concentration on my study, but a day is really really long. iam listening all the time to some music, what is really helping me to get tough the day, mostly punk and heavy dirdy elektro music.
@manish cant really help or give an advise… never was in this situation before and dont wana give some wrong thoughts
Iam starting to think that she isnt good anymore for me. The situation with her is very complicated and iam not even sure if its really over or not. I have the feeling that Iam just waiting for her and and that she can have me back whenever she wants. Isnt it better to really make a point and live with the pain that shes gone rather then waiting for her until she knows what she wants and live with the pain of uncertainty.
At the moment shes in a Rebound Relationship and there have been reasons why I broke up with her. Iam very afraid that shes not changing so fast. Moreover i really dont need this complicated situation in my life at the moment. Its my heart what wants her back so badly.
Should I talk to her and make the cruel point and continue NC (maybe even she will realise some stuff about me, when iam gone) or should i just continue NC, trying to get happy without her and focus on my life? I dont know which pain is better 🙁Hey you should just continue NC with acknowledging the need that focus should completely be on you and your happiness, for which you are responsible. What matters most is your being back in own life for the duration of NC and of course you are doing that for yourself. Its difficult but you should think of making things better for yourself without giving much thought to relationship for the moment. Of course hers is rebound and just give it time, do complete NC and when you feel the happiness and confidence within you will be much clear mind to decide and think or talk to her. Just be happier, do what makes you feel good without harm and stay in NC. It’s going to be easier with days!! Relax. 🙂
you made me smile 🙂 thank you so much
it very hard to focus on myselfe cause shes calling me everyday and writing me stuff like “i will never be so good like i was to you”. but i will stay strong with NC.
thank youMost welcome and sure you should stay strong doing NC. I made the horrible mistake of breaking NC while I was not in clear mind and it messed up everything, made worse for me and I know now stronger and going to complete longer NC; and focusing on my life and happiness is only option for betterment of all for longer run. I am pushing myself to limits, planning and doing things I always dream earlier, like taking long vacation, mastering special skills like photography, getting in touch with old friends, doing mountain climbing and all, lol. If I or for that matter you were best for her, let her realize more with time – it always works. You will know soon, with NC you are even helping her too to realize what she is missing, so it is absolutely necessary to cut of contact for a while, if she is messaging everyday reply calmly and positively that little time is needed for both, like Kevin mentioned and do best.
Glad it made you smile, keep doing great. 🙂
iam very confused, just talked to a friend… isnt it better to have clarity in life? still having hope makes it even worst!? running after the ex or show her the limits? i even cant think normal anymore. everyone is telling me that I!!!! have to know it! but i dont know it… why is life so complicated. i really dont know what to do anymore…i just called her that i wana me with her today, she said probably not today…. did i screw it up now…
damit i scew up so badly wasnt listening to you guys and the NC…. called her made drama , was crying we realised she is destroying me with this calls she did everyday. so we said NC for a month… i hurt her again… is there still hope? 🙁
at least i have clarity AWSOME 🙁You did a mistake while being too much into emotions and it happens, you can’t reverse that and regretting it won’t help anyways so better you should relax now and try to focus on yourself. The purpose of NC is to take lot of time, clear your own mind, and be a happier and confident person, otherwise you would not be able to handle relationship.
Follow strict NC and if you can do that – there is always chance, even after worst happened. Believe me, I have seen that happening so I am no longer worried. Only thing you can do now is to do complete strict NC while forgetting about relationship and focusing on your happiness. Once its over, just stay totally friendly and let her initiate things. Hope it may help, good luck.
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