Boards › Reconciliation › Send elephant in the room text or not
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May 21, 2019 at 12:54 am #112113
We had 4 year old relationship. Broked 2 months ago. Lost connection (didnt give time to understand her emotions, someone else did (she is dating him now, but kept that secret) she broke up 1 week after meeting my parents for marriage.
Begging and crying in front of her for two days only
Neutral texts for 1 week (post my pics and funny thought on WhatsApp status too)
Single meeting after a week (went good) but after that she didn’t picked my call.
Got 17 days of no contact
Then three neutral text in a week got single word reply
After that 21 days of no contactShould I send her ” elephant in the room text now”
May 21, 2019 at 1:02 am #112124Sounds like you are trying to rush the process. Have you taken the time to work on yourself? The elephant in the room text is meant to tell her how much you had changed.
I would recommend a hand written letter. It’s more personal and tells you that you have put effort into it.
May 21, 2019 at 4:00 am #112130Worked on my looks (reduce 6+ kg), worked on my communication, understanding, relationship skills and emotional intelligence (read 4+ books). My friends told me that they can see the difference.
We didn’t even talked after these changes. I am not sure how she will notice themMay 21, 2019 at 4:22 am #112131If your friends see the difference then she will too.
I would wait a few more days and give yourself time to write a good letter.
May 21, 2019 at 5:49 am #112132I am sure she will but how should I start interacting with her again. A common friend told me that she is dating someone (her friend, she used to share emotional stuff earlier)
We live in near in two different cities (nearby cities) and she is not talking to any of our mutual friends either.May 21, 2019 at 1:22 pm #112135If she is not talking to anyone then the letter is the best thing.
May 22, 2019 at 8:51 am #112145Stay no contact. Your ex is not ready to talk to you. You are pressuring her and not respecting her desire for space. You are not giving her the chance to move past her resentments and start to miss the good times with you. Every form of contact, even “an elephant in the room” letter is only going to re-enforce her belief that she made the right decision and that you will not give her space. She is likely to dig in even more and build that wall around her even stronger. She might even get mean, because she really wants you to leave her alone so she can work out her feeling on her own. You have already broken no contact twice, and it did not help you. This won’t either. Every time you break no-contact, you reset the whole process and it will take longer for her to get through the stages to the point of missing you and wanting to contact you again. Never contact your ex in anyway until she contacts you, if you goal is to get her back.
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