Recent Break Up

So I broke up with my bf about three weeks ago, and I did this because he wasn’t seeing how he was hurting me by ignoring my feelings about him getting drunk with his buddies and fighting with me over jealousy when I talked to one of his “guy” friends, though he certainly talks to his and my “girl” friends. I do want to work things out with him, but I needed him to realize that I wasn’t going to just sit while he did anything he felt like doing and was a jerk if I did the most harmless thing like talk to his friends who ask me for advice all the time or just give me a hug.

Now right after the break up he kept telling me that he wasn’t going to say bye because he would win me back. I told him ok, but I felt that it would take a lot for it to happen because he has said to “change for me” before. We parted and he texted me later that day while he was out with my friends, turned “our friends”, at a bar. I kept it casual and he told me he still loved me… I didn’t respond to it, just let it be, and kept on talking about the night. Turns out he got pretty bad later that night after we said goodnight (information from my friends).

The next day he didn’t talk to me until later in the evening having spent all day sleeping and I just let it be. It was casual once more, with the occasional saying it was hard and he missed me. I met him later that day to give back some of his things that I had collected and he came up to me and gave me a hug and kept touching my face despite me moving away. We talked a bit and he looked miserable and I felt bad so I ended up giving him a hug…since I can’t ever let people feel bad. We parted and I went home. He said goodnight and I love you once again and again just let it be.

The next day he apparently planned a last minute trip with his friends, (hurt because this was my idea to do with him for spring break) and we didn’t talk till later when he texted me. He again said I love you, but being somewhat hurt I said that “just because you love someone doesn’t mean its always good”…. We stopped talking for two days, but he talked to my sisters about how I was and even got into an argument with my sister on whether or not he truly cared about me, claiming he always did, even though he didn’t know why he hurt me.

I heard about this a day later and I texted him to see how he was and we talked fine, he was happy being funny, but later that night one of his friends was sick (drunk) and he was helping him out. I told him it was ok and he could talk to me tomorrow… He said no I was more important. I told him I was tired and he said ok, with a goodnight and sweet dreams. We didn’t talk the next day, but he snapped my a picture of and owl and wolf stuffed animal knowing they were my favorite… I just told him cool.

The day following the snaps (so a week after the break up), He got back and he texted me in the morning and again casual conversation began, it was fine until it got sad when he posted a video on facebook of this family and said it reminded him of “us”. I felt bad and cried in my room. We almost ran into each other at a local country bar, but he said it would hurt to much to see me and I let it go. He ditched these friends to go with the ones he went with the night of the break up, and apparently got bad… He texted me that night angry about one of his underage friends being drunk saying it was my fault and well I didn’t supply the alcohol and did warn her not to drink, but she chose to so I just watched out for her… He didn’t however tell my sister and his friend (who supplied the drinks) anything.

This was late at night and I said to him that it wasn’t fair to be calling me out if I hadn’t done anything… He passed out and since my anxiety was worked up I didn’t sleep and when I finally did he texted again… He was still angry until I calmed him and he said “What if I just want you mad so you can get over me?”
I told him it wasn’t for me, but for him that he was doing this. That he felt guilt and displaced it onto me. He said that he just wanted me to feel better and I said he wasn’t tied to me anymore, he could do whatever his heart desired if it was drinking, drugs, sex, or anything else he wanted, and that the guilt he felt was his own, nothing more. He feel asleep and this was early in the morning about 6 and didn’t apologize until later that day. He resumed casual conversation…

Somehow it turned bad and he said he was barely doing whatever he wanted and wanted to do it, but also threw in that he could change for me because he had showed it for awhile… I said he could change but it wasn’t about that, it was just having respect for my feelings the way I respected his and whether he would or wouldn’t, not could or couldn’t. I let it go… The next day he texted me again and it was casual until again the conversation turned sour, when he asked me what he had done besides play and poke a very old friend of mine… I named a list of other “girls” that I know he’s messed around with. (not cheating, just like horsing around) and he asked me why I wanted that?

I told him I wanted the person that I had chosen to date, who was kind and sweet, and compatible with me, when he didn’t drink excessively. I flat out just said “I feel you don’t want me back.” Despite all the things he had been saying at first then confusing me. He responded with “why do you keep saying that?” I let it go because he had to study for an exam and I was confused. I said goodnight and good luck… he was nice again saying sweet dreams with a smile. We didn’t talk for two days until he texted me as if we were merely friends. I played along and then he just stopped texting me. It been over a week and a half with nothing from him. He has snapped a lot all of a sudden and has taken to facebook, but I only see things on my newsfeed when I get on every so often, I don’t look at the snaps, but he has looked at two of mine.

About six days ago he did text my little sister, saying he missed her, but I don’t know the meaning behind that. Both my sisters were his friends. Now my sister is angry with him because of what happened, but she felt like answering because she felt bad… We advised her not to. I have had no contact with him for that week and a half… but I do want to work things out. Only I know if things are to be any different I cannot be the one to just go and reach out to him. It has to be of his own volition, but even then I am unsure as to what to do…

How long should I keep this no contact? We are both going to a rave on the 2nd of April, but not together… we have mutual friends though and the chance of running into him is probable… How should I act? Do I talk to him only if he does? At raves we used to always be together so I am unsure of how things will be. I feel he doesn’t know what he wants, like for instance wanting to be with me because he didn’t want anyone else to, but then not wanting to give up his “single life” when in the relationship. Now it’s almost reversed?

Sorry for such a long post… just wanted to lay out the details to get the best answers. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated.