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Here my story (summary)
Long ago, A (my ex bf) was best friend’s with D (a guy)but now D, who doesn’t speak to A, is best friends with K (a guy) who is also the best friend of me. A is jealous of the friendship between D and K but he’s okay with the friendship between me and K because he thinks K is a nice guy. Unbeknownst to everyone but K, D gets sick and goes to the hospital. K wants to go visit D but doesn’t have a ride so he calls me on 28/10/2015 to drive him to the hospital but doesn’t tell me that it’s all about D. At the hospital, I accidentally meet D when I drop off K and everyone panics. D and K make me promise not to tell A that I provided transportation for K to go see D but two days later (30/10/2015) the guilt is too much and I confess to A anyway. A is now giving me the silent treatment from 31/10/2015 until now (its been almost 2 months)
A contacts my girl besties on 1/11/2015 behind my back and he said he was very upset with me because I met D and didnt tell him right away about D’s sickness. But he said to my girl besties it was just temporary and when he is ok with me, he will contact me. So i waited. But its been a month he didnt even pick up my call, my text, my voice note and he didnt even try any effort to contact me. I start to do Nc from 18/11/2015 until now. Almost a month.
Right now, K and my girl besties are pissed off with my ex bf because the way he being silence without telling anything towards me and they cannot stand how painful i am right now. So K want to make a surprise meeting. K will ask some of A’s members to persuade my ex bf to meet D and D is fine to meet for the first time after they have issue to settle everything between them. At the same time, my friends ask me to be there without telling my ex bf. Its like a secret and surprise meeting. Because, if he knew i will be there, they afraid my ex bf will not show up.
The goal of this meeting to break the silent treatment if he still does it and want to settle all the misunderstanding and anger. And i want to know whether he wants me or not. Its not like fighting meeting scenes. We (me, my ex bf, D, K and my girl besties) just sit and discuss on table.
So what do u think? Is it a good idea?
My other friends said he will hate me more for doing this meeting after 2 months Nc. But he is doing silence treatment almost 2 months now. And how long a guy will cool down and how long a guy can miss someone? I did everything to him. And i want everything back to normal.
Is this meeing is a good idea actually? I want to do this on january which means 2 months of my Nc and 3 months he did silence treatment.
Hello Aryyan,
Before you make the meeting which you plan on January, ask yourself these 3 questions:
1. Will you be able to handle his rejection if he says no?
2. Will you be able to keep your composure and be objective if during your meeting with him he says something that you do not want to hear?
3. Will you be ok if he says that he has decided that both of you should move on? That you would not plead or beg him to reconsider?If your answer to ANY of this is NO then you are not yet ready. It means you have not made any positive changes in your life during the NC. It means you have not found yourself and confidence yet.
On the other hand, if your answer is YES to ALL of these, then you are ready. When you do the meeting, don’t use any gimmicks or ploys or third party. Reach out to him directly and be open and honest about your intention. Just ask him if he could meet you over a cup of coffee or whatever simple and fun thing that you could do together. Start from there. If he still does not want to meet, just respect that and do NC again and think real hard if he is still worth pursuing. You owe it to yourself to know when to stop. No one can tell you when to stop. You need to figure that out by yourself. I’m sorry. This is all the help I could give you. I hope it turns out well. 🙂
Hey dear thank u for ur reply. I really appreciate a lot.
Firstly i disagree about this meeting because im afraid he will hate me more. Im afraid he doesnt like to confront and im afraid he doesnt like to be quest.
But my friends insist to do this meeting. Because his “used to be” bestfriend which is D, really want to settle their issue together. And he is a bit guilty for involving me in this case. 2 weeks ago one of our friend asked my ex to give her D’s number but then my ex said “i dont have D’s number. He is no longer my friend” and now D seems so shocked about that statement plus my ex didnt contact me at all, so he really want to settle down…
Hey there. We are around 24-25 years old
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