No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

@Nell

There certainly is. But life goes on. I’m really glad to hear you treated yourself today! I look forward to going clothes shopping once I hit my weight loss/tone up goal. I wish I could do something with my hair, but I had a tragic hair teasing incident where I tried to have a faux hawk… needless to say I panicked and cut it off cause I couldn’t get it out. -sigh- Still waiting for it to grow out, but it should be at least shoulder length by summer. Haha

@confusedbutok

Maybe take some more time for yourself? If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I’m sure your ex has racing thoughts at times about if you’re with someone or not. I know this is usually the case because we’re human… we’re creatures of habit and that’s a pretty common thing to worry about after a break up.

I have not been on any dates yet, but I do have one girl in particular that seems pretty interested in me. She’s really attractive, incredibly nice, and always makes a point to be VERY friendly with me. I have not pursued her as I know I need to heal more, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hit the parking lot with a pep in my step and a grin plastered to my face like a moron after I see her at lunch. Besides which, she’s probably 5 or 6 years younger than me (not a bad thing, but leaves me feeling a little conflicted).

@ThePhoenix thanks for the words. And yes, I need to start looking after myself and improving myself. I can’t “die” because of this. I have some resit exams next week that I need to start studying for, otherwise I’m screwed. It does me no good thinking about her and eventually I will stop one day. I still write for myself, everytime i feel like talking to her but one day it will eventually stop. I used to talk to her all the time, I couldn’t stand being without talking to her for a complete day and now on NC I’m actually realising I can do it. She will eventually realise it (or not) and may come to her senses when she sees that I actually moved on and stop being miserable because of her.
I have a major exam on Tuesday that I haven’t studied a second and I need to focus on this, not if she is with him, or if she is happy, or if she’s doing this and that. Somehow, I need to focus on myself.

Hey!

She replied back in the middle of the night while I was asleep.

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I was having text messaging problems last night so I texted her first and then sent the message on whatsapp:

Text message:
Ex: Hi <Me>…How are you doing? I’m just getting in contact because I am trying to find my dissertation. If you remember where you stored my laptop contents, it would be really helpful.

Me: Hi <Ex>. I am doing well, how about you? I might have a copy of your dissertation stored somewhere. When would you want it by?

My text message was not showing as it was delivered to I whatsapped her too.

Whatsapp:
Me: Hi <Ex>. I am unable to reply back by text message. I am doing well, how about you? I might have a copy of your dissertation stored somewhere. When would you want it by?

Ex: I just saw this. I guess you are asleep now. I will ring you tomorrow.

When I woke up and checked my phone the text message was notified as being delivered. I am a bit embarrassed now.

I have not replied back to her last whatsapp message…what should I do?

@Martin Just reply back and say something like “Ok speak to you soon then.” Stop playing games. As long as she is willing to speak to you and treat you with a bit of respect then allow her to do so.

Try to reward her for good behaviour towards you while allowing a little distance between each of you if you feel that she is pushing your buttons.

You need to be brave enough to allow her the opportunity to get close to you again. She might not be willing to take that opportunity when you would like things to happen if at all, but you need to be able to give her a platform to do so if you ever want the chance to win her back.

@Sparky

I would prefer to not play games but it seems like it is one. There is a limit to how much close I can get to know since I know she is dating someone; if I get too close to her then her rebound would work out.

I already texted her saying “Ok sure.”

I know that she wants her dissertation for her Phd interview on Monday. I am happy to help her out in any way she needs.

I was considering printing the 100 page document, binding it and leaving it at her concierge at her apartment for her to collect it. But I am not sure if this is too much and would set out any negative flags. I would be printing it at my workplace to that is free for me, hence saving her a lot of money (at least 30pounds.)

I could just email her the document and let her sort out her own things but I really doubt she would be able to get it printed and bound on time as most places would be close on weekends.

I have always taken weight off her shoulders in things like this while we were dating so I am not sure.

@Martin It might seem that way. Only you kniw enough about your situation and can decide whether it is worth the risk or not. From what you have said though it is costing you nothing but a few minutes of your time and it will help your Ex out a lot and save her a fair bit of money (for her).

Therefore I would do it and shrug it off as nothing and that you are always pleased to help her if you can when she thanks you for it then judge the situation if she contacts you again. You will run the risk of being hurt but have to keep telling yourself that you expect nothing. This should hopefully show her that you are a good man, a strong alpha male and still a good catch. Only she can decide whether she views that as being any more than a nice gesture or not again one day. Well done though. Give yourself a reward for being a nice guy whether she does or not.

@kiwi and @confusedbutok

I think dating others is more of a test to see if you are emotionally ready to move on. You have to keep trying otherwise you will always be stuck in this limbo.

I don’t search for my ex’s qualities on other girls anymore.

@Sparky

She texted me back saying “I’m free from now until 12:30 if you want to talk.”

I am at work now and unable to have a phone conversation so I was thinking to just text back saying:

“I am at work, can’t talk now. I can visit the loo if it is urgent.”