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Posts
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I meant do nothing while in no contact. I wish I could prove to him that I mean what I say but can’t do that while in NC.
Daniel,
That is exactly it.
I think that in order for them to come back we really need to let go. For real. And it takes time. No way you can have a serious reconciliation after only a couple of weeks or 2 months.Sunshine,
Uhm like kevin said. Try to build false friendship then attract him through skype.Hey guys
I need your help and advice. My situation is basically hopeless. I feel like I should keep NC for good and move on. I’m in day 45 of NC and he hasn’t contacted me even once after the break up. We’ve been together for 10 years. We started having problems around 9 months ago. We fought a looooot. And even though it was all his fault and I had good reasons , he was the one who initiated the break up and told everyone that we made this decision together. He just said I’ve changed to who I was 10 years ago. He didn’t even come with me to see a therapist so we can work it out. He said to one of our mutual friends that if we see a therapist, I’m AFRAID that he may help us!!!!!!!!!!We got engaged 5 months ago and he broke up with me over text!!!!! He hasn’t contacted me since. ( excep the one time that we bumped in to each other and another time before that which was both before these 45 days)
He told me not to wait for him and he’s never eveeeeer getting back in this horrible relationship. And now it looks like after this time he is too happy and calm about the break up. He’s living his life. He has changed his life style and his circle of friends. He even started dating(I’m 90% sure). Everybody talked to him about changing his decision. His parents, his friends, his cousins , his aunt, and he didn’t listen. When I asked his mom about giving back the ring he gave me, there wasn’t even a little reaction there.
Day 45 and he looks happy and calm and seems like he has completely moved on and didn’t feel my absence. Instead he feels relief. Even though I still love him so much,I think he was not man enough cause he just made a lame excuse for me and everyone else about us fighting when he wasn’t even willing to solve the problems.
So I’m basically hopeless cause I’ve done my part and contacting him after NC(in my situation)will show him that I still want him back and I’m needy. So in my case I just have to go with the flow. He’s the kinda guy that I don’t think he will ever contact me again. It’s over for him. And even if someday he regret this, my familly who were veryyy close with him won’t accept him anymore.
I can’t contact him. He won’t contact me. And there’s no other way. He wants new things and he’s getting them. I have two questions for u guys
1.what should I do about the ring? Looks like he doesn’t care at allll!!!
2.i read every article there is about how to move on and I dide every thing you are supposed to do during NC. I’m still so sad and desperate and I can not accept the fact that I had lost him. I have to let go like they say if it’s meant to be, it will be(even though I know it won’t) what should I do to move on? Other than the things we all already know cause I’ve done all of them????Thank you guys I donno what I could do without you
Dear all of my fris..
I NEED HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP………
Today is Sunday in my country. In the early morning 7 AM , my cabled phone rings. I don’t know . I ‘m still asleep. No on is at my home . That’s why I close my eyes and pick it up. Who do you think the caller is ? My Ex. I switch off my phone for over 3 weeks. SWITCH OFF !
Hey, I’m in serious case and I really need help. He told me that he is in other city of our country to work. He told me the following words. —
” I’m in other city . I’ve been trying to call you for a long time but whenever I call you, you never pick it up. You know ? I sold my phone. I ‘m not using the same number anymore. I’m sorry for what I did to you in the past . I really regret to lose you and always think about the way I slap you , the way I betray you and the way you treat to me. I can’t even sleep as I ‘m so sorry for you. Please forgive me. Now, I’ve broken up with my new gf for 1 month. How’s your job ? Is it Ok ? You are still in the previous job till now ? I miss you . I came to your office and also came to your street. But I didn’t find you as I don’t know how to find or whom I can ask. I wanna see your face but I don’t dare to see your face. I’m alone now. I won’t tell you that I want you back.. But.. You know ? I’ve known your value since the day you leave me. I really know why we broke up. It’s because of me. It’s because I follow the drugs. I was bad boy. You used to support me. I was not like the real man as I took your support too much. Now, I know what to do for my life. I will work in here ( the city where he was born ) . I will try my best . I don’t use drugs anymore. Are you Ok with your boyfriend ? When will you marry ? ” I can drive the car now .Don’t worry. I won’t call you again. Never, ” etc.
It’s really hard to force myself not to talk about previous relationship . You see? he talked so much about previous relationship. I told him like ” Don’t call me frequently as I don’t want you to fight with your girlfriend ” . He told me ” don’t you like me to call you ? tell me if you don’t like . I won’t call you never. ” . I repeat my words again and he angrily end the call.
1 – I told him that i’m so sorry to stick him after break up and I also let him know I’m ok and accept the breakup and fine now.
2- I really force myself not to ask about him although I want to ask too much. I act like don’t care.
3- I watch the clock and try not to exceed 15 mins. and force myself not to talk about previous relationship.After he angrily end the call, I call him back for a once. He doesn’t pick it up. So, is he still using the same phone although he told me that he is not using that phone anymore ?
What should I do ? I don’t wanna trust him as I’m just in my 34 days NC. May be he is just take a trip to his city where he was born. Does he lie to me ? That’s what I want and should I continue NC ? I accidentally talk with him. I swear .
Hello Khine,
First, let’s just be honest with each other. I know that you feel really happy to hear from him no matter what his reason was let alone for him to say ‘I’m sorry’. I think your sense of happiness is interfering a little bit with your decision making and though it’s ok that you answered his call this time I think you should continue with your NC and really think about this relationship.
Did he call you for the right reasons? I doubt it. How do I know? well, a guy who changes his number and phone after break up and gets involved with someone else then because the hook up (notice I didn’t say relationship) with the new girl didn’t work out so he’ll call you. Does that sound bit weird? I called my previous ex when I broke up with my current ex because I needed support from someone that loves me and I knew he wouldn’t shut me out (bit selfish, i know). But do I ever ever want my previous relationship back? NO! And I think your ex perhaps realised all his faults and anger issues with the new girl he hooked up with that he felt compelled to apologise to you for the way he treated you. Good on him for that! But ‘Saying’ sorry and actually ‘Being’ sorry are two different things. “He angrily end the call” – meaning he hasn’t worked out his issues with his anger and you deserve better than to be with someone abusive or controlling or just angry. Then, he didn’t pick up the phone after you called him back, he’s lied about changing phones or maybe not, but once you doubt the small things you start wondering about other hidden lies that may exist. He said sorry for being angry and from his actions he SHOWED you otherwise.
“I don’t wanna trust him” – Smart girl! very very smart girl! So, don’t trust him. Don’t involve yourself in an untrusting relationship. Sit with your thoughts and write down what it is that you want in a relationship? What kind of guy deserves to have you? Clear your heart, your mind and then if you think he’s still the right person go for him. But I bet you’ll move on because these anger issues will wash the love away (though I don’t see love in this situation).
You’re a very intelligent woman with so much to offer. Don’t settle for anything less than what you truly deserve. All my love xx
What should I do ? You means he just called me as he needs support from me for awhile as he fight with his current gf ? he don’t want me .
What should I do ? Should I call him and tell him not to call me again ? Should I tell him not to use me as entertainment ?
I wanna cry so hard.. I hate him now..
I’m really very sorry to hear that Khine.
What should you do? Absolutely NOTHING! Don’t call him. Don’t give him any attention. Let him go…
Grab a box of tissues, cry yourself silly. This relationship is dead. Grieve and let it go… I know he’ll never change and you’re too precious to deal with this crap… I’m sorry.
Dear Rihanna,
I check his phone with another phone that he doesn’t know. The couple pick it up the phone and tell me that they’ve bought the phone for around 1 month.
So, is it true that he already sold the phone ?
I don’t trust till now . I have to check again.
I dreamt of my ex again last night then I forced myself to wake up because I know that it’s not true what I was experiencing. It really does bother me when I dream about my ex, after I have woken up I went back to sleep and dreamt of ex again but this time in a different setting but I feel that it’s just a continuation of my first dream.
Gets harder everyday. Though I know that I should just focus on myself.
Khine,
You should continue NC.Write down what you want from your ideal life partner and a perfect relationship then compare it to your ex and your past relationship.
He misses you or MAYBE he wants to get back with you.BUT you are more important than him.You should make sure what you really want in a relationship.As long as you are confused you should continue NC.Day ?,
It’s been a while. I stopped NC at day 42 to then realize I was better off without my ex. It’s been a while sice I ran into her. I still remember thinking “I was sad and miserable for this?” I know it’s mean but in a nut shell that’s what went through my head.
I’ve given it time to think and come to the decision that I will start NC again. This time forever. I’ve realized that there are so many opportunities out there to find someone BETTER than my ex. Iv come a long way. At first I couldn’t bare an image of me without my ex but everyday that goes by it’s become easier for me.
To be honest I may have been completely OVER my ex if I hadn’t learned that she’s involved with someone else already. So soon after our break up. I’m still a little hurt becuase she didn’t wait. But am I hurt becuase now I can’t have her? HELL no. Life is to short to spend it with somone who doesn’t deserve you in the first place.
I know her and I know in the future she will reach out but I’m not sticking around to wait for her.
I’m so happy I have supportive friends and this site. Thank you all. You’ve truly helped me through a difficult break up.
PRESENT UPDATE:
How am I doing now? Awesome. The more I work on myself, the more i attract other girls. Since I’ve been single I’ve known about 4 girls who are interested in me. This has defiantly proven to me that I’m on the right path. However, I’m not ready to jump into anything right now. I still have time left in my inner clock before I can officially declare myself that I’ve moved on. But I feel like that time is coming soon (going to be 3 months).
Also I don’t want my next girlfriend to be a rebound. So no rushing for me. I’m working on myself and I’m taking everything I learn her to apply on my next relationship.
To everyone still in NC. Stay strong. If they are worth fighting for, continue to do so! I wish you the best
L.A,
I must say I am very proud of you. Good for you! I wish I could be that strong. I am in my 40 day of NC and no way I feel that way. But definitely I am better than day 1 🙂
The part where your ex is involved with someone is the most excruciating one. My ex is seeing someone else too and even though I know it’s not a relationship, it still hurts. But I am trying not to focus on that at all!
Actually I totally agree on the fact that you don’t want your next girlfriend to be a rebound. That shows maturity. NC did work for you after all. Keep up!hey everyone, hope you are all hanging in there and surviving/doing well in NC! i’m pretty swamped with school so i’ll probably only check in once in a while. but i’m still going to complete my NC, together with you all!
a.z – i hope you are recovering well/recovered!
sunshinegirl – i know how you feel. we’re in the same boat. it’s really tough for LDRs, but that’s why it’s crucial that both parties work on it together. one party working alone will not see the relationship through. let’s hope we can reattract our exes and make it work!
Khine – i’m sorry to hear what has happened to you.. but don’t contact him anymore. at least during this NC period. in my opinion, you don’t owe him an explanation. and i agree with Rihanna and a.z as well. like what Kevin/Edward said before, the breakup happened for a reason. take this NC to think about whether getting back together would really be good for you. if he really loves you and wants you back, he will work to improve himself for you. you are worth way more than what your emotions currently tell you!
Morvarid – i’m not familiar with what happened for you, and i don’t have that much life experience yet, so i hope i’m not being insensitive here. i think you might need more time to get over him and move on. for me, even 3 years of memories is extremely tough to get over, let alone 10 years. but with time, you can do it. you know where you can find support if you need it! we will definitely be here for you. personally, for the ring, i would return it. but when to is entirely up to you. if it’s hindering you from moving on during NC, return it now so you can focus on yourself more. if not, you can also return it “after NC”, when you are ok with the fact that you both may never get back together again (in the checklist). what he does with the ring will be entirely his decision, and i hope that you’d be strong enough to continue on (if you’re not, we will drag you on if need be). i’m sorry this had to happen to you.. 🙁
just a quote i saw that i think might be useful for us all:
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth”
– Unknowntake care, all!
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