-
Posts
-
Day 18 of NC. Feeling down today. Can’t help but think what my ex is doing with her new bf. I made the mistake of checking her fb page and she changed her photo from the one I took on vacation to Nashville to the one of her from when I took her indoor skydiving. I know the photos mean nothing; girls choose the best photo of themselves.
I keep running all the scenarios through my head and I keep trying to figure out if I am being logical or emotional. So many of the guides say you need to be logical throughout this process. I mean she formally breaks up with me, starts seeing someone else, blocks me, threatens a restraining order, then contacts me repeatedly. She is displaying the signs of a rebound relationship, but on the other hand she disabled her OKC account. When her and I started dating she had an active OKC account until we became officially together and then she disabled hers. This honestly has me worried that her rebound is serious. Argh.
We are on the same boat. It’s hard to let go of hope. Hope keeps us going. I wish he was an a-hole so I can tell myself, he’s not a good person and I deserve better. I know I scared him away, and suffocated him in my love and insecurity. But I do know that I deserve the best, and so do you. You deserve the best version of her, and you deserve to be chased by her after her breaking up with you. Only then it’ll be worth all the pain you are going through now. Nothing is worth the pain you are going through now. Nothing. It’s hard to picture the future, but I know that each of us will find love again and we’ll be happy…until then, we have to move forward and better ourselves because we need to be the best version of ourselves too.
I don’t know how long rebound relationships last, but I think they can last for a few months. Be patient, and keep moving forward. Believe that each day will get better because it does.
I am here to continue to listen.
Does introducing jealousy sound like a good or bad idea? I was reading a post in that other site (the one I sent you) and it says to create subtle jealousy especially using fb. I was thinking of getting a new girl to be my friend and start liking and posting on my timeline…
Do not introduce jealousy – think about that. Do not play games. It’s morally wrong. And I think you know that. If you have to go to those lengths to ‘win’ someone or get their attention, you so so so need to raise your self worth. And I say that with complete kindness and actually concern.
Hmm okay. I just came across it on another site.
For some reason I am having a very hard time right now. I woke up today and started crying right away. To make it worse I checked my ex’s facebook and her photo is now one taken by her new bf. I think I need to talk to a doctor because I am really upset this situation and with myself. Upset that I pushed her away. I have no hope now. All the “signs” of her contacting me I don’t think they mean anything. I think it was her trying to hurt me and vent anger towards me. I know I should be angry at her for not trying after I broke it off. I know I should be angry with her for dating someone 1 week after I broke it off. But I can’t help but miss her.
The doctor doesn’t open till Monday so any tips or support will be appreciated….
yes immediately on Monday contact a dr. also see if you could find a therapist to talk to. I think you should go to a gym or jogging to let out stress. if you need to cry, then cry and let it out, what your feeling is completely normal. the other day I was a complete mess as well, and yesterday I cried as well. so dont stress yourself out about your feelings as they’re normal. I think since you mention anger a lot, you should seek help for that as well. find a hobby or something to keep your mind of off your problems. you should seek family and friends to hang out with atm, maybe hanging out will help you through the stress your feeling. stay strong and keep your head held high. your doing really well. 🙂
Aalms thanks for the support. I joined a gym this past week and start a dodgeball league this week. The weekends are just rough. My dog of ten years passed away a few weeks before we broke up and I don’t have many local friends.
But I’m trying to be positive and I’m starting to think about my first message after NC. I have about one week left and I was considering going with the “I was reminded of you” via text with the situation being eating crepes which was something we used to do every weekend at a small little cafe. Sound right? Good memory, not overtly sexual or romantic, easy to believe…
no problem of course. 🙂 your already doing very well for yourself. try to find things to do on the weekend to keep yourself busy and all. also see if you could join local groups so you could meet friends and stuff. stay strong you got this. 🙂 could you give me your opinion on what I wrote. thanks 🙂
btw im sorry about your dog i know what is to love a pet so much and lose them. the dog we had recently we couldnt keep and my husband got rid of her and i have no idea where shes at and my other dog died on us from parvo as a puppy. 🙁 so I feel you and the one that died I was so attracted to her. btw my father passed away a few weeks before he left me. so I can relate to your pain. keep your head up your doing great. 🙂
I think you should finish your no contact, take this time to make an action plan and figure out your stuff. 🙂
As you might expect, with another man in the picture, I am worried. This other site I have been reading, ex girlfriend recovery, advocates for a 14 day NC when your exgf has a rebound. By all definitions my ex is in a rebound- 1 week after break up to start + constant text messages telling me she is happy. I just do not want to wait too long to reach out and miss a better chance of reconciliation. At some point, and it’s probably a person by person basis, your ex starts missing you less. That’s why I was questioning whether I should go with 21 days since I am on day 20 right now.
I’ve been browsing another site, relationshiptalk, and some advice I am getting says to not break NC until my ex contacts me in a “I miss you” sort of way. What does everyone think about this approach? My concern with this is that too much time could pass and she will move on. However some people say that if they love you they will not move on a for a long time. Some people also say to skip texting and letters and simply call and talk to them straightforward…
I think that’s what I plan to do bguarino. I am not going to wait for him and am moving on with my life. The only way this would ever work out is if he realized that we had a very special bond that’s worth cherishing. I can’t make him see that, he has to realize it on his own. I forgive him and myself for the mistakes, but I’m not going to wait around for anyone. If he ever comes back, he has to do it on his own. That’s just my decision, you HAVE to decide what’s best for you. Good luck, please find peace in your heart and in your mind and in your body. I am…
Yeah I am too but I also am very forgiving which isn’t making the choice easy. I also found out my ex is back on the dating site we met on, I know she was never happy with the guy she started dating and now she is looking again. I find this somewhat comforting and strangely funny.
I still do not plan to break NC but am wrestling with if I reach out in about a week
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.