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Hey. Need some advice and support!
My ex sent me two texts this morning. They were animated icons, one a ghost and one a smiley face. This is the 4th time since I started NC that she texted me. SO I responded with
“Hi I am good. Focusing on me right now. We need some time and space, and I will contact you after that”
Her:
“No that is okay. I am happy with Jon (her new bf). I just wanted to make sure you were good”
Now I am feeling shaky. I thought I was in a good place. I thought NC was working. She went from blocking me 100% to texting me about every two days. What do her words mean? Is this hopeless?
I think she isn’t over you or she wouldn’t care. I’m going through the same thing and I find it very hard not to reach out to my ex. He’s the one that broke up with me, but like you, one minute I feel great and fine, and the next I’m a wreck and all I want to do is talk to him. I think the bigger point of no contact is to make yourself stronger and get to the point that you don’t care (as much) anymore whether you get back together or not. I think the point is you need to be in a place where you are ok to let them go and walk the I other way and never look back, because without that, you don’t stand a chance (she will always have this power over you if you don’t let go). That’s what I tell myself anyway. Harder to put into practice.
Thanks. @aamls, @a.z
Your thoughts?
How can anyone jump into another relationship so quickly? I feel like only girls have the ability to do this. My ex just started dating someone and i feel like i wont be over her for at least 6 months.
But from what youre telling me… i think you have a good chance of getting her back IF you stick to the 5 steps. She’s obviously still thinking about you often. and I think she was trying to get a rise out of you by saying “my friends say im happy and giggly” = “I have lots of friends and im better off without you” – which prob isnt true at all.
Time to make your ex feel the pain of heartbreak. follow the steps and dont contact her. i have a feeling she’ll come to her senses and come crawling back.
Yeah I agree she was trying to get a reaction from me. I know I hurt her by breaking up with her first, and she was always one to try to “one up” me.
I do wonder though if I made a mistake by saying I would contact her in the future (after we had given each other time and space). Her reaction was very negative “No that is okay”. Like she doesn’t want me to contact her at all.
The phrase “I just wanted to make sure you were good”…I am not sure if I reading too much into it, but to me see was checking to see how I was handling the break up whether she was looking for me to be upset still or okay with it I have no clue.
I guess we will see. I will keep NC going and she if she contacts me again.
thanks all 🙂
Does NC have to restart now? I feel like she got what she wanted from me when I responded, and now does not miss me as much.
Even though she’s dating someone doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about you (which is why, she texted you I think, or for some other convoluted reason). Maybe she feels guilty, maybe she wants to know if you’ve moved on or not. Don’t message her, and give it some time.
Update…another text from my ex. This one asked if my parents thought she cheated on me…why does she care?
if you read my story then you know I broke up with her out of frustration and anger over constant fighting. After 2 weeks I reached out and she said she had been dating someone for 1 week. So 1 week after I broke it off. It was technically not cheating, but caught me off guard.
Hey,
She was expecting a reaction from you and you handled everything well.No,you don’t need to restart NC.You’re doing well,keep it up.Nothing has really changed.You should follow the plan.You do have a chance.For some reason I thought things might be changing, but so far no more texts or communication. I’ve been going over and over in my head why she was asking about my parents. I mean that is something ex’s shouldn’t really care about, especially if you don’t plan on seeing them again. I hope it’s a good sign and I trying not to get my hopes up.
I remember when me and my ex first broke up… she said that she doesnt care if i sleep with another girl (mostly cause she doesnt think they would be better than her in bed) but what she really cared about was me introducing another girl to my family. she cried to me as she said this.
i think ex’s will want parents to remain loyal to them in the case that if you ever get back together. I dont see any other reason.
I’m about to crack and contact my ex. My ex never used Facebook. She quit years ago, and I was just randomly reading the news feed and in big letters and a big photo that I took of her Facebook asked me if I wanted to add her as a friend! She joined yesterday it looks like. And her new bf is one of her friends. Fuck fuck fuck.
She requested to be your friend or Facebook suggested it?
Either way, keep your cool! He’s not you! Don’t let her see that your freaking out. That will only make you look weak and insecure.
Getting your ex back isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. Only the toughest can do it. If it was easy, everybody would get back with their ex’s. You need to remember the big picture plan here. Stick to the plan! NC!!!!
Facebook suggested it. I’ve calmed down somewhat…It’s just that for all I knew her new guy was not real, or it ended before, but now it’s confirmed and there’s a picture. Ugh. I know I shouldn’t obsess, but previously I had all communication blocked or wasn’t pursuing it (i.e. texts).
I am losing all hope now.
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