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I completely empathise with you mate, its not good enough, or look at it another way – you are too good for that shit. Dubai sounds like a better place anyway, prob a lot more women to choose from too!
I jsit messaged her wrong or right thing to do I don’t know.
But said just drop my stuff at my house.
She said ok no problem not even acknowledging. She binned me off then tried to call her as I was so angry.
Don’t bite, rise above it. Take the higher ground – that will annoy her more than anything
To late mate she lied me on every reason to meet and she is now off to the UK Tuesday for two weeks. Which slightly confirms she is seeing the guy in London I thought. As she wasn’t supposed to be going for a week and a half but she is going to London first.
So I have asked for a phone call as I need to move and she clearly has. Not ideal but I need this now.
Just got off the phone to her and I asked her outright would there ever be a chance for as and she I don’t think so.
Told her after that I was leaving moving, zero emotion what so ever.
Not going to lie i just completely broke down on the phone and wasn’t able to remain calm.
It’s done now and I have said goodbye.
so i have seemed to settle down a little bit so will give an update of events earlier.
She binned off today because she forget, apparently very busy with work etc.
Tried to get something arranged for next week and she apparently goes back to the uk for 2 weeks, i know 2 weeks today she is a bridesmaid.
So i end up just calling her which i wasn’t prepared for, she has clearly used the past three months to talk her out of the relationship.
I did most of the talking she gave zero emotion back and had not a huge amount to say apart from that she is worried and cant trust me to not turn up at her flat again. she cant get over that i couldnt cope with me feelings towards her and ended up caring about her to much.
I asked her is there any possibility for reconciliation in the future, she replied i do not think so. she is not convinced i have changed and sorted some of my issues out.
she said she doesnt need someone who has to many emotions, she needs work and that is it.
She is so fucking scared of being herself and opening up i am convinced of it.
I told her i was leaving the country and she said nothing at all. she couldnt see hoe her breaking nc was messing with my head.
Do you guys see anyway forward from this ?
the only thing i can suggest is going nc again and going ahead with your move and new job. focus on that and it may bring about more recognisable change. I’m also thinking from some of what kevin writes and the relationship rewind material that getting back in contact should have an emphasis on a friendly meet up rather than asking her if you guys have a possibility to get back together, so that might be the approach to take if you try again later on. but for now it looks like she is indeed focusing on work and is put off by your intensity (i know that feel)…so the only thing you can do is remove the intensity and focus on yourself once again. i wish i had a better answer for you mate i really do because i see so many parallels between yours and my situation it’s a shame to see it unfold like this for all involved 🙁
fwiw between the job and the bridesmaid thing it doesn’t sound like she’s in a place to start anything with anyone right now. it doesn’t sound like she’s seeing anyone else if she’s so focused on work. or at least no one who will distract her from it which means not serious
I think after three months of back and forth no contact which she broke every time. I felt stuck in limbo I should have maybe been more patient. I really thought I was ready for whatever answer.
Clearly not, I also told her to only contact me if she sees us differently.
I don’t think I will hear from her again which is hard to come to terms with. 8 months and after two or three she is introducing me to her parents who I got on great with to then acting like a teenage freak out. Then this.
You might not have been ready for this answer but least for now you are not in a limbo anymore and can concentrate on the new job. It is not the answer you wanted and everyone who has ever loved and wanted ex back knows that and knows how you feel and I am sure all here who have commented on your messages were rooting for you but it takes also her wanting it and she seems not to know what she wants for herself other than work now so there would not have been much you could have done anyway. But the thing is none of us knows what future brings, it might be that in time she realizes what you guys had and contacts you or you meet someone else who will completely make you forget her until then you have people who care about you and are here to support you and new adventure to look forward to that can bring the most amazing opportunities for you.
Honestly, the damage had already been done. Trust is very hard to win back and in the period of time you’re talking about I doubt many would be able to forget someone breaking their trust and respect by turning up at their apartment uninvited.
Worryingly though, you acted on your emotions rather than being patient and thoughtful. This shows that you weren’t ever ready for a relationship with her again even if she had been open to the idea of reconciliation.
NC is about improving yourself-and whilst you have made some steps forward, clearly you have a long way to go.
All you can do now is move forward, learn from this and improve yourself. Some people aren’t meant to be on the journey that is your life and will always just remain in your heart and mind.
Good luck with everything.
Thanks guys, sometimes we just need answers. 3 almost 4 months is a long time of no contact chatting no contact and stuff.
I think more so although I clearly have strong feelings for the girl, she isn’t prepared to have a two way street and deal with her issues.
I have come in keeps and bounds.
I just kind of wanted my girl back as sad as it sounds.
We are all in similar boats, but clearing the uncertainty is a great leap forward. We can now focus on moving on. I am looking forward to moving to a new area, meeting new people and excelling in a new job. I am focused on the next person, whoever she is, and really looking forward to a new relationship. I can’t wait to meet her. As soon as I start thinking of the past and my ex I replace that thought with all thats positive about the future. I appreciate I may relapse at times but that is all part of the process. Time to look ahead.
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