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As Baz states, that’s prob not a bad mindset to be in at all. Just make sure it doesn’t manifest itself as an outward display of ‘couldnt give a F’. Which of course, we know you do, but I know when I get amped up about something I tend to get a pretty stone faced expression that can be misconstrued.
You are in the right mindset of being prepared to make it work but also being prepared to walk away. And in a way, the situation is in sync with this in a very ideal way – as you say, if ever there was a situation for it not to work – that is perfectly true, but the opposite is true as well; such a dramatic change may well be a wake up call for her, so in a way if ever there was a situation FOR it to work, this may well also be it.
It’s basically make or break, as scary as that sounds it’s also kind of what you need to get yourself into a situation where you’re moving forward one way or the other rather than being in limbo – which isn’t any good for anyone.
Chin up, stay positive, be cool, see what happens.
So guys update!!!
Was out with a mate for lunch in scruffy clothes. I am sure Dan guess what happened next.
At the cafe and my ex and her business partner walk in. I have been thinking I would be absolutely fine if this happened.
Well I wasn’t, I completely felt sick and wanted to shit my pants ha ha.
I didn’t make it look like a saw her. Was chatting to my mate descreetly said she had just walked in, as we where talking about my date tonight lol.
Then she comes over and says hey how are you. I look up and go oh hello. How are you she replies busy with meetings and stuff.
Still haven’t heard anything about the meet tomorrow. Especially after seeing her today, so I don’t think that will happen.
But annoyed as I looked scruffy. She looked lovely.I left first and said see you later and have a good day. Then left.
To which her business partner then left her in her own. Which was strange.
Internally I was in bits, I wasn’t prepared to see her at all.
It doesn’t sound like this caused much of a problem really. It’s quite natural for this to have been a bit awkward but it sound like you handled it well and kept yourself together and acted slightly aloof, which is fine. If anything it may act as a catalyst to push her into arranging the meet if he was hesitant before, as she has seen you and it may make things a bit more real in her mind.
Just wait and see if she arranges something with you.
She was sat behind me so couldn’t see my distraught wanting to get out of the situation face.
I looked like shit so was annoyed.
I haven’t heard anything at all, which I am slightly annoyed and confused about.
Well there is still time, but even if she doesn’t contact there may be reasons, maybe she is having all kind of thoughts back-and-forth about it. She might end up delaying and contacting you in the middle of next week or something.
I would wait to hear from her, but maybe if you don’t hear from her for another week if you haven’t told her about your new job and moving away yet just drop her a text saying something like “was nice bumping into you the other day” and tell her that you’re moving away. That might get a reaction.
I wouldn’t worry too much about how you were dressed. If she’s known you for a while she obviously knows that’s not how you are all the time you were just chilling with a friend casually – it’s fair enough.
Yeh always good to not look like a gypsy and her in her work clothes.
My mate said she was really awkward as I had my back to her which would have been a good thing.
It’s confused the living hell out of me today then all stupid shit started happened where I HD to meet someone at the place we had a first date etc.
Pushed for meeting with my ex telling her I had some pretty big decisions to make and would appreciate meeting up. She told me that any decisions I make are mine to make alone and to forget about us. I kind of knew it was coming but I am glad to draw a line under this. Given what I have done for her over the years I (and others) feel the way she has treated me after breaking up appalling, but I am not going to bear any grudges. That will only hold me back. Time to move on. NC hasn’t worked for me but now I look forward to the next relationship. I really hope it doesn’t take as long as last time (5 years!!). Hope it works out better for you guys 🙂
At least you know where you need to go now.
Think I got my answers by her not even coming back to me. Like she said she would, given the unplanned seeing of each other. Still no response. Not even a message think it’s pathetic how she is now acting. I have a lot to get off my chest just not sure if it’s any point.
So getting increasingly annoyed about the not bothering to get in touch, especially after yesterday.
Rise above it mate. My ex and I were together for 6.5 years, through my job she came with me to live in the States and experienced things she would never have experienced. We returned to the UK, to our separate cities, with a view to me moving to her city once I found work. This took longer than expected, she spent more and more time with her friends and then canned me. I am left with an amazing job offer, in a city 4 hours from my own (which will be very hard to turn down). Honestly, the timing of all this is crazy bad. The job offer came through within weeks of us splitting.
My family and friends loved her, my parents treated her as their own but everyone feels appalled by the way she has acted since we split. As I have said, our last conversation was to have a break and see how we felt, her last words to me were ‘Dont sell my rings, I am sure we will speak soon’, (we were engaged and had bought the wedding ring). When I tried contacting her (last week, after 5-6 weeks no contatc) she shunned me like some sad pest. We went on holiday that cost over £2,000 in March, I only asked for £700, never saw it. I gave her £1,000 towards her car, never paid me back. I have done so much for this girl it is unreal but I am concentrating now on not bearing any grudges, wishing her well and moving on with my own life. I can’t wait to find the next person, its now just a question of whether I stay near my folk, and start the job hunting all over again, or take the one on the table and move 4hrs away.
Don’t let it eat you up.
Just never expected this girl out of anyone I have been with to do this to me.
She keeps fucking with my head.
If she didn’t want to meet jsit say that.
The thing is, what I have found, the silent treatment doesn’t give you closure. You would think that it’s like, “right she hasn’t called me so that’s it”, but in reality it doesn’t work like that. It keeps you hanging on. I had to persevere to the point that she told me in no uncertain terms for my own rationale, you may need to do the same. If it isn’t to be you have to be able to draw a line under it. I know what I have to do now, and that is good. It’s only the uncertainty that is fucking with your head, the heartache is something else that can be worked through. We are talking basic manners here so don’t be alarmed at your frustration, like my ex, they are showing showing themselves to be less than decent. Snakes with tits lol
Ha ha snakes with tits.
That’s what I wanted to do today, ask her is there any remote chance of rekindling things m. Plus she was the biggest thing to happen to me here and I am moving away. As I am person with a heart I thought she might want to know that.
Even to see that I made a decision on my own.
Really disappointed at her behaviour even seeing me yesterday and still nothing.
It’s rude to be honest.
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