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my boyfriend left me on our anniversary (it was3 months)- 3 days ago. he said he cant be with me cause I am bringing stress into his life, and that i am too much brainwashed of weed i used to smoke and its been worse since i stopped he said… So our friends told me he said few hours before breaking up with me that he is sorry and that he would be with me, but he just cant cause he is unhappy because its a stresfull relationship… he told me that he doesnt love me anymore(I didnt believe him, i know him well, he just said it so it would hurt less to let go of me for sure)and also that he had turned off his emotions and listen to his head and brain…so he just ignores the love for me so he could get over me.. I was his first gf (im 21, he is turning 22 on december 30 (should i send him a text saying “happy birthday”?)) He didnt believe in love until we were hanging out one on one. days, nights.during week, weekends… so yeah we fell in love really hard and noone of us wanted to have a relationship in their further future lol. so its been 3 days since no contact.. and i am trying not to contact him until his birthday unless its a bad idea…what do you think? And after all i just want him back in my life as a friend first so he can see by himself that i am changing and improving and that we build our relationship different- without thinking about the first time it failed… i wanna start hanging out as friends, I first want to change the negative sides of me and with being friends and hanging out with me he will be able to see the changes im trying to do on myself … so how do i do the first contact in about 3-4weeks? im also scared he will think im over him if i dont text him sooner… and what if he doesnt answer when i aks him if he is ready to go on a coffe with me just to hang out as friends a bit.I did tell him i will remain in contact with him in some time, and that after new year we could spend some time together…he didnt say no, but he wasnt really happy about it(well how could he be he just broke up with me ).. or idk no idea what i could say after NC..
I just wish to have him in my life again , i do know we are a perfect match just… not our time yet first i need to grow personally.
any advice would help!! thank youYou seem to have a good head on your shoulders the no contact period is really great for improving yourself the first 2-3 weeks are really hard but after something almost like clicks and it’s better, but it’s only better if you truly are just focusing on yourself. Like I wasn’t just focusing on myself at first like I was checking my ex boyfriends social networks constantly so I then knew I had to delete all my social networks off my phone for a week and that truly helped, also get out there and join a gym, focus on work, anything that’s gonna make you feel better do it all for yourself! About him thinking you’re over him yes he could possibly think that but that’s not gonna make him not miss you or make him move on. If it was a truly meaningful relationship he won’t completely have moved on in only a month. I was worried about that too but you’ll realize as the month goes on he will try to possibly contact you, ask friends about you they always wonder. But the thing is you need to play your cards right during no contact or else it won’t work this month is all about you and it’s a great time to figure a lot out! And I promise he will miss you they get very confused when we dissapear for a while!
the social network part is for me pretty good, since he doesnt have any, he deleted his facebook account when we were together cause he felt it was kinda ruinning our relationship. He hasnt been out for like 3 days ,except going to work this morning. I know that cause he lives in the next village and i pass by his house almost everyday,seeing his car parked there.. I know its a hard time right now, I know it will get better and i also know i wont get over him anytime soon (also he will realize he wont forget me that easily when things chill in his head and heart- he said once if we ever break up he will need a year at least to get over me -he said that to our friends while holding my hand). Thank you for your advice and strong words it does help.. i was kind of clingy and needy when he was ignoring me straight 2-3 days when we were together and i texted him way too much but I knew the only chance he is gonna get out and have a conversation with me,at that time it worked tbh. He is used to me texting him and not stopping,begging and crying, so I am sure he checks his phone every now and then to see if i left anything. Maybe at this time he is relieved when he sees nothing since he is upset and sad etc but i know he will start questioning what happened.. but i hope he will contact me first.. tho as i know him that wont really happen.. he knows i want us back together so he may avoid contact with me also… well i will work on myself, focus on myself and wait for the day we will see each other again. hopefully he will see the growth and change in me and remember all the +++++++ that made hi fall in love with me and what he loves about me and see the —– are visibly improved/ improving. Thank you for your words. So on his birthday (30.12) i should not text him happy birthday? when i asked him he said he’d rather see if i dont (he by nature doesnt like people wishing him HBD). I bought him a present for his day, but he broke up with me 3 days later so i cant really give it to him lol.. so i will wait for when we become better friends again and i will give it to him at that point.
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