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Hi. I’ll keep this as short as I can. After 3 months of dating the girl of my dreams, she broke up with me. She was the only girl who ever said she loved me, and she was the first I ever said it too. We introduced each other to our families, went for weekends away, and weren’t apart at all. The night before we broke up, everything was great, we kissed a lot, when she she said I love you, I said I love you more, and she said that’s impossible. Then 24 hours later, she text me to say she wasn’t ready, and didn’t want to be with anyone. The next day we met up, I obviously begged and pleaded, but she said i did nothing wrong, and she wasn’t ready. So, I found this website, I text her and said I’ll give her space if that’s what she wanted, and initiated NC. Day 4, and it’s terrible haha, I understand the purpose of it, but it’s so hard. So now that’s off my chest, I have a question about whatsapp. It shows when you’ve been online, should I avoid it all together, so that it doesn’t look like I’ve been re-reading old messages? It doesn’t show what contacts chats you’ve been looking at, but should I avoid it anyway, to make her want to know why I haven’t been online? Very long sorry, any advice would be helpful, thanks so much! Dan
Dan,
NC is tough, but you can get through it. Just do your best to focus on yourself for now. I am not too familiar with Whatsapp, but I think that you should avoid it to make it easier on yourself rather than just making her wonder what happened to you. If you go on it a lot, it may be tempting to look back at those messages which will make it harder on you. I wish you luck!Hi katelyn, thanks so much for the reply! I won’t go on it, I’m really trying to get my head straight and focus on myself, and it’s just far too tempting to re-read and try and analyse every conversation. Thanks for the support!
Hey there. Im so sorry about your story but then perhaps she might be a bit scared so yah give her some space. How many days u do the Nc? For the whatsapp, im doing my Nc for now for 25 days and I hide my status whatsapp, my online whatsapp, my picture whatsapp and yah my reading tick whatsapp. I just want to hide everything so that my ex wont know anything about my status. Im not sure my ex saw me online or not but for making me crazy to see his status online, i delete his number so i cant whatsapp him. What about u?
Hi aryyan, thanks to both of you for the replies, it really helps having a girls opinion! That’s a good idea for the whatsapp, I hadn’t thought about doing that! It’s been a problem because I have other people messaging me on there, so I kinda of have to go on there, so if I hide my status, that’s a good start :). She broke up with me 7days ago, and currently on NC day 5. Thanks again for the reply, you have both really helped me so far! I’m doing ok, I’m prepared to see the NC thru, although I have the same problem now as katelyn, what to do at Christmas!! ARGGHHH!! Trying not to think about it at the moment.
Hey there. No problem. I think its better for u to delete her number first. So that u wont find her in whatsapp when people text u and u have to open ur whatsapp. Its very difficult for me when i try to do the NC thing since my ex bf give me silence treatment for almost 2 months now but i think u should be no problem. I know its hard especially for christmas and new year but i think its better we keeping ourselve busy for during holiday and if ur partners text u it will be great. Hopefully they find u guys to wish. Its really hard to not make them feel annoyed by us right…? So perhaps Nc can help us…
I know I should delete her number, it’s just so hard, it feels so final. I’ll try and do it. I can definitely do NC till Christmas, I just hope she atleast says merry christmas other wise I’ll be crushed. But I am following the guide, exercising, socialising being positive, so hopefully I’ll feel better soon! Aww i feel sorry for you, stay strong! 2 months is along time for you, has any progressed been made recently?
Yah just delete her number because it helps u not to find her in social media or call. So christmas is ur final 30 days of Nc?
Yes my ex bf give me silence treatment from 30/10/2015 until now which is almost two months due to i made one mistake. And because i made so much contact to force him to contact me and i did read narcissist article because he is narcissist/sociopath. So i try to do NC for 30 days and now is 25 days. Still no progress and no contact from him plus he seems hate me more.
What about u? Is there any proress?
🙂 I’ll try. Unfortunately not, Christmas Day will be day 20 of NC, so if she hasn’t contacted me before then, I won’t know what to do. I have presents for her and her family, I know she’s bought me and my mum some, so who knows! And no, after a week, she still hasn’t been in contact :(. I’m sorry about your situation, I think that when it comes to being in love, men are weaker, and if he did truely feel for you, he will be in contact. Also, with you taking control and starting NC, it might give him a kick up the bum :). I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, hopefully over the holidays he’ll remember the good times, and that’ll prompt him to say hi, fingers crossed for you!
I think its better for u to wait her to text u first? Because i think she might be thinking that u will text her and all and if u dont, she might be curious. Perhaps. Because if i were her, i will be curious. Just keep her present for awhile. Or u can like give those present to her family but make sure she wasnt there. Complete ur nc first. What do u think aboit it? Because she said she wasnt ready right?
Well…i feel he hates me more because there is one time my friends asked him to hangout, he said “make sure she wasnt there or im out”. And my bestfriend asked him to go vacation. He loves vacation a lot. But when he knows i will be there and suddenly he said “its ok. Im busy”. Im not sure he truly feel for me or not but as far i can remember, i affect his life a lot, i helped him a lot, we spend a lot together from morning until next days for 10 months. We travel a lot. We story to each other a lot. I hope he can feel me but right now its almost two months he do silence treatment and i also do NC for 26 days now. And its still nothing from him
Dan,
You are very welcome! I’m glad I could help. It is crazy how similar our situations are! I am also stuck on the Christmas situation, for I have presents for both him and his parents, and Christmas is towards the end of my NC period. If you stay committed to maintaining space between you two for now, I think there will be a better chance of her wishing you a Merry Christmas. However, if she doesn’t, it may hurt, but do not let that make you feel like you have no chance at all. Even if she does not contact you then, it would still be okay for you to contact her after the thirty days and see how the conversation goes. 🙂No contact is not just about not contacting your ex but also staying out of social networks and “reliving” old emails. My suggestion to you is to delete your app. and erase any emails you have of her. It sucks I know trust me. I am in 3 months of no contact with my ex but I feel a lot better. You need to understand that it is about you now and not your ex. Yes she may call you but she may not. This is about you “finding yourself” and once you start realizing that you can live without this person is when no contact actually works. By the time she does contact you; you will be focused on something or someone else that it wont matter. Hope this helps.
Hey coming from a girl who has felt the same feelings as your gf, i’d say keep strong and do what’s best for you because she will be running back if she still feels for you. If she doesn’t, know that you are a strong person who can make it without her. i believe you can do it. i’m going through my own situation right now but if you’ve been through break ups before, like i have, then you will know that you can come out of it a better person. I’d take it as a learning experience, to learn about yourself.
Dan,
I get what you’re going through, my ex also told me that he loved me and all this stuff the day before he broke up with me. He said he didn’t want to hurt me anymore and that I had done nothing wrong, it was him. Which I want to believe, but I think he just left me for another girl. Which is another long story lol, but I don’t know what to do when the holidays come. We had agreed to exchange gifts, and I’m starting NC today so on Christmas it will be NC day 11, but if he doesn’t contact me i’ll be crushed. and even if he does, idk if I should talk to him. but I do want to be with him for the holidays, and ive been through NC with him before just not during the holidays which makes it so much harder.Wow, so many replies, thank you all so much, they really do help! I’m currently coming to the end of day7 NC. I managed for the first time today, to not think about her all the time. I’ve deleted my apps, so the temptation has gone. I’m far from moving on, I still want her back,but I am starting to get stronger, so if by accident I bump into her, I won’t be such a mess :). I’d like to say I won’t contact her on Christmas Day, but until were there, I just don’t know. I’m kind of thinking that if she hasn’t contacted me by then, and doesn’t even say merry Christmas on the day, then she really doesn’t want me back, so I can do nothing about that. We’ll see ;). Hope everyone’s staying strong out there, and thank god there’s a place for all us love losers to get things off our chest :)!sorry i haven’t replied to everyone’s comments, when I’m home I’ll try to offer some help to you all!
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