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Today marks a whole week since I last talked to my ex. I’ve been researching this site for a couple days now because I do love him but yesterday he texted me and it was actually really unsettling. He said:
“Just wanted you to know that I’m really sorry for being an asshole to you over the last texts we had. It’s just after that day I was at your house I was really scared. You know I would tell you the truth no matter even if it hurts. You looked really bad, like I was scared for ya, you lost a lot of weight and I just couldn’t stand seeing you like that and thinking I’m the reason. I’m so sorry and I wish I didn’t do that much damage to make you like that and I should of never been an ass and tell you to leave me alone after that happened..
I just wanted to tell ya that cause after that incident, it’s just been on my mind. I’m sorry”
He was referring to two weeks ago when he came over and noticed that I have lost a lot of weight. Part of it is because I’m stressed about my situation with him, another is that I’m stressed at work because I’ve suddenly got an increased work load. When I’m stessed I chain smoke and eat very little.
Additionally, a week ago today I bumped into him because we live on base and I just so happened to be headed to the mini Nex and he was leaving it. We were about 20 feet away from eachother and as soon as he saw me he quickly turned the other way and continued walking. Just like that. Didn’t say a word to me so I texted him letting him know that I know he purposely did that and out of respect I chose not to create a scene and all I wanted was the same amount of respect to know where I really stand with him. I had been harping on him the last couple days at this point because it was super messed up how he came over, hooked up with me, asked if I wanted to get something to eat later getting my hopes up then went back to treating me like I’m invisible. All I wanted him to do was be straight up because since he left me, he hadn’t. It was all a game of “I still love you but I don’t want to argue” so I stop arguing with him and now he wants to make it out as my weight loss makes him feel bad about himself.Where I’m getting at is, it’s been 7 days since I last talked to him and I honestly just want to say ‘F*** you’ to him. I have never treated him like this and I never could. I honestly don’t know what to do because usually I would go off on him but I’m trying to better myself as a person and I’m also not completely sure that I want him out of my life yet.
@ashtray – How long were you a couple, when did he break up with you, and what reasons did he give for the breakup? There’s a clue in your story of arguments. Guys HATE arguments! They want things to be calm and they want above all else, to be happy in relationships! When they are miserable, they want out.
Did you invite him over 2 weeks ago or did he just show up? By hooked up, do you mean you had sex with him? You should NOT have texted him about his walking away when you saw him a week ago! You really need to get control of your emotions and stop confronting him about his behaviors. By being angry, you create extra drama and he will resent it and try to avoid it. Try no contact for a few weeks while you work on self improvement. He won’t want to reunite unless you make changes..
@patricia12 we were together for a year. He left me without saying anything while I was at work on January 5th. He didn’t say anything other than he needed space and was tired of the arguing then blocked me off of all of social media. Since the time he left me to the time of my post we slept together twice, he’s come over just to hang out a couple times and we’ve gotten into one argument but it was in public. I apologized for that argument and a couple days he messaged me to see how I was doing then I decided to invite him over but he didn’t respond until the next day. So that was the day that he came over that I mentioned above. I texted him about seeing him purposely avoid me because he was acting like he cared the week prior then after we hooked up went back to acting like I was nothing and that hurt me so I wanted a definant answer. After he gave it to me I left him alone then he decided to message me to apologize. I was going to ignore it but I read through the advanced book and it says to not ignore them but to simply basically state that you need time and space and you hope they understand so I did and he said that he does and hopes I’m doing better. Since then I really have been. I’ve been spending time with friends, making new plans and ultimately loving myself and the life I live. I really let go of all that anger and it feels good. I still miss him and I’ve bumped into him omce since this post on Valentine’s Day at the mini market and felt my heart drop knowing that we weren’t spending it together but I held myself together and went about my night. I don’t cry anymore because I’m upset about the situation but I have cried a couple times just because I simply miss him and his presence. I don’t feel that need to have him around all the time it’s just a want now. It’s been 20 days now and I have really come to realize that it’s true what they say, time really does heal. I’ve learned a lot from my breakup, not just about the relationship and him but myself as well and I feel like I’ve really gotten in touch with a deeper me and I love it. I feel like I’m my own best friend. It feels so good.
@ashtray – I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling better. I know you miss him and surly he misses you too. Next time you two are in contact, keep it casual and don’t invite him over or sleep with him. And if you get back together, remember, guys hate arguments and confrontations about their behavior. Every interaction can be done with respect and disagreements should be far and few between. If something comes up that upsets you, it’s possible to talk about it in a very nice way..
Good luck:)
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