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He broke up with me 2 months ago…
I met this guy on Tinder in August, 2015. We started dating after 2weeks of everyday conversations. And it was all good for 7 months and a half then he broke up with me saying he had to leave my country. Yes, he is an American soldier and I am Korean. It was in February that his request to stay in Korea for another year got turned down and he filed an appeal. But it got rejected again in April. That meant he was supposed to leave Korea in June. So he was really cold and said that we should not are each other. I cried a lot but he refused to see me any longer. It was April 3rd.
In early May, my best friend found him on Tinder. I was like “What the…?” But he didn’t know her so my friend super liked my ex boyfrinend then they got matched. They talked a lot about me(My friend acted as if she didn’t know me). My ex said that I was such a nice girlfriend and I was never a bad girl. And he said, “But we had our own issues. It’s too bad it didn’t work out. I was supposed to leave Korea but 2 weeks ago, the government ordered me to stay one more year. Well, I’m not opposed to meeting her again but I probably won’t date her again. I am sad a bit but that’s the life.” So my friend asked him, ” You can meet her again! Why are you on Tinder?” He said, “I dated lots of girls but none of them liked my job because I am too busy with my job. I had to leave them. They couldn’t understand why I was too busy. And she was too. But I am lonely that’s why I’m on Tinder.” I was happy and sad… I know it’s not a lie since I know one of his friend and he had to leave Korea in June with my ex then their order got changed.
I actually texted him after 30 days of No contact, saying ” I went to the place we dated first. I hope you are enjoying your rest of the days here in Korea.” He replied saying thanks and he hoped that I was doing well. It was before my friend found him on Tinder.
2 weeks later, he messaged me that he was going to stay here one more year. But that was all. He didn’t say he wanted to meet me again.
Last week on Thursday, I texted him first saying “Your new profile picture is so nice!” So we talked a bit like friends. Only for 2 hours. Then we had nothing to talk more.
Today on Saturday, I miss him so much. I do miss him so much. He never blocked me on messenger and on Facebook. I really want to meet him again. I followed the 30 days of No Contact rule and I was never clingy to him(I was never clingy… I feel like I had to be clingy a bit) and he never says I was bad. But he is trying to find a new girlfriend which makes me super sad… What should I do? What would you do if you were me? Should I text him now or a month later saying “How’s it going?”
Is it ok to tell my ex boyfriend “I miss you and I know it’s bad for you but I do”? After 2 months of a breakup.
When men say that a relationship is over, you should listen because they are telling the truth. According to him,
– he is a soldier and that means he will leave Korea when his deployment is over. This means he does not want to get too involved with anyone because that will break his heart. Selfish, I know, but people often think like this.
– he is on Tinder because he is away from home and feels lonely – so he just wants to hook up and have some fun, possibly without the girlfriend-type commitment. Nobody can blame him since Tinder is pretty famous for quick hookups and nothing else, so this guy is doing nothing wrong.
– I am also getting the vibe that your relationship has fizzled out and he has been moving on ever since the breakup. That tells me again that he did not really want a commitment with you. So he seems to be moving on pretty easily which I know, hurts as hell.
Given the points I have made above, I doubt NC will ever change his thinking and behavior. Well, he confessed everything to your friend and, as hard as it may be, you should use the NC to help you move on. From the information you provided in your post, I think you are wasting your time on this guy.
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